the worst dream i’ve ever had relating to metroid

::Warning – This is a disjointed, violent and ridiculous post::

I’m going to try to lay this dream down as fast as humanly possible before I forget it all, we all know how dreams are. Last night I played Metroid Prime for the Wii for almost 2 hours straight. I went to bed pretty early after a long, busy day, had a pretty night dress on and a big comfy Depend with a Size 7 cruiser stuffer, so I was really comfy and went right to sleep.

I had a great deal of dreaming going on before the point at which I remember the “story” of my dream, but the pre-dreaming lasted forever and kinda involved Corey Delaney on a go-cart. but the basic set-up was I was in New York City, and a bunch of fucked up aliens were attacking. So, I find myself in a liquor store with a guy I hardly knew from high school, basically everything outside is going crazy and there’s clouds of dust everywhere. I think the stores empty so my initial reaction to such an intense crisis was to start getting hammered on free top-shelf booze. So I start to grab a bottle of whatever and a shotgun blast goes off, and the Indian guy who used to run a liquor store in my neighborhood is yelling at me for stealing, and I tell him that the worlds going to end and he says OK, I can have 1 bottle.

So I spend what seems like hours just looking at all this alcohol until the husband of the Manager at my old job in Sacramento, Will, comes running in, and we start getting into an argument about what to get and he’s telling me to hurry. I get what was in the shape of a bottle of Crown Royal, put it into my back pack and run outside. Everything is broken and exploding but it’s still kinda green and sunny outside. I’m asking Will what’s happening and he basically telling me that we’re out of luck, and I see all these comet looking things coming from the sky and all these alien-dogs with scorpion tails running around everywhere, killing army troops and causing havoc. I ask him if they’re going to go all “Cloverfield” (i.e. carpet bomb Manhattan) and he says no, so i think there’s still a chance. So we’re running and this big garage/trailer looking thing is out in the middle of a big parking lot with a couple benches on it, and we run to that. Will sits down and I start yelling at him about climbing up to the top and how we might be safe there, but to him it’s hopeless.

At this point we both see one of those dog-alien things speeding towards us, he sits down on the bench and it basically shreds through him. It whips its tail at me and hits me in the wrist but for some reason I was wearing bracers, it still really hurt and I knew I was poisoned, so I grab its tail and flip it over but in a second it over powers me, and the tail hits me right in the top of my head collapsing my skull. Now this is where the dream gets really weird. I wake up in a dark room I don’t recognize but I’m still in my bed, acting as if I just woke up from a bad dream. My wrist really hurts, and I get the idea that people are coming into my room late at night and injecting me with crazy nightmare stuff for some mad experiment. I feel really scared and I just hide in bed for a little while until I start kinda dosing off. I open my eyes and 3 covert-ops looking guys are in the room just about to grab me.

Then I woke up for real. The episode of Mystery Science Theatre I fell asleep watching is still on, even though the dream seemed like it lasted at least 12 hours. My previously dry diaper is now wet, I even leaked a little bit because I’m sure I was moving around like crazy. I washed up and got into a fresh nighttime diaper, I feel normal, relaxed and pretty silly about the whole experience. I’ve never really wet the bed before, and if it takes a dream like that to do it, I think I’ll go without. I don’t play video-games all that often, but when I do have an extended gaming session it really messes with my mind. Something as interactive as the Wii has a more profound effect, it really puts you into the game with all the motion sensitivity. Still, I’m really happy I wasn’t playing Resident Evil.

Anyway, more stuff soon and thanks for reading this crazy bullshit post!

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you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it think

Hey there! This is your old friend Riley coming back after yet another long no-posting hiatus. I’m kinda all over the country at the moment, I left my battery charger in Massachusetts so no video for a while, sorry. I’m in New York State and I’m not sure where my next destination will be. I watched a film recently called “O Homem Do Ado” or “The Man of the Year”, a coming of age dark satire about vigilante justice in Brazil. I don’t want to give anything away because I very much enjoyed the film, but there’s one part that I feel has great pertinence in my life. The main character is soliloquizing (there’s like a 10% chance that’s a real word) that life is but 2 things, either a horse that you are holding fast to, deciding where every foot lands, or it is a flowing stream that twists and winds on it’s on volition. That’s in my words, not the Brazilian guys. My life feels like the stream sometimes, like your watching yourself make actions and have conversations and live life, and it’s just happening but you can control it and it’s still you. The problem is, sometimes grabbing the mane leads to even worse consequences than just letting life flow.

Anyway, if you put up with that self-examination long enough to get to this second paragraph, check out this article on Slate I recently came across.

It seems Slate basically recruited a young, snarky writer 2.0 to lay down some of his comedy stylings on the topic of Adult Diapers. I give him credit, it’s a pretty funny article and surprisingly well informed if you look at it from the viewpoint of someone who doesn’t know just about everything there is to know on the topic of Adult Diapers. He doesn’t seem to make a direct reference to the AB/DL lifestyle and thankfully avoids mentioning that “OOPS! I Crapped my Pants” SNL skit. I would say the most negative part of the whole review is when he delves into the shame he felt from wetting his diapers. It’s not that bad! This guy probably hits the Jäger and Redbull pretty hard so I’m sure his urine is hardly sterile, but wetting isn’t really gross or harmful if your a healthy person like myself. But, wetting yourself is a pretty serious stigma in our society and probably will be until dogs start meowing. China on the other hand…

So, anyway, I’m back for the time being, I’ll get to your E-mails and questions as soon as I can, I get about a million a day. Thanks for reading!

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