I just woke up this morning wet, cold and feeling sorry for myself. Yesterday was a pretty normal day, I drank lots of cranberry juice and water and had some chamomile tea before bed, which I don’t usually have. I was laying in bed watching Falling Down, I was wearing my pink cotton pajama pants and the green night dress I wore in the Tena Review, and just a pair of little hipster panties, instead of a diaper. I have a bedpad on my bed, but it’s not very big and it’s disposable, it rarely stays put while I sleep. I planned on buying plastic sheets next payday, but I might need to get them sooner.
Anyway, I was planning on putting on a diaper before I fell asleep, but I dozed off and woke up in a dark room, my first thoughts were about how cold it was and once I regained consciousness I realized I had wet the bed. I hardly ever cry, I’m more prone to swear if I get hurt and sad movies are the only time I’ve gotten even choked up in a long time, but in that moment of realization and feeling my soaking wet pajamas, dress, sheets and panties, I started crying a little. I lied there trying to cuddle with the dry parts of my sheets and whimpering to myself, I felt so little cold, alone and vulnerable. The line between happiness and sadness has never been so blurred for me, I never wet the bed as a kid but have always wanted to, I want to experience the innocence, lack of control and humiliation, but it’s always been a “careful for what you wish for” situation.
I felt all those emotions this morning in my soaked clothes, when I started to get myself together I gathered everything and headed for the bathroom, threw my sheets and blankie in the wash and went to the shower. Shivering, I peeled off my pajamas and panties, took off my wet nightshirt and felt the warm water wash my accident away. After the shower I went back cleaned off my bed and threw away the completely soaked-through bedpad and wiped the sleep from my eyes. I layed my changing pad down over the drying wet spot and put my pacifier in, and knew the thing that would make me happiest would be a comfy warm diaper. I powdered myself and put on a Tranquility ATN I had been saving for a time like this, I suddenly felt really happy and like a little girl in my little bra and diaper, no sheets because I’m a bedwetter, comforting myself with a pacifier.
So here I am, Riley in protection because I’m really starting to need it.
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