passing game and double takes

I generally wash my hands before every meal, I don’t freak-out if I can’t, but it is a bit of a compulsion. The good news is every public foodery has a bathroom in it, the bad news is they’re generally separated by gender. It makes sense in our current society to do so, a lifetime of alienation for some men made ‘the girls room’ equal to the playboy mansion, it’s a strange and mystical place without urinals, little garbage cans in the stalls and a surplus of “like” and “omigodiknow”. A good case is a beautifully renovated theatre I’d frequent, the girls room was immaculate, mostly the little vestibule for make-up which was outlined with gorgeos ceiling length mirrors. The mens bathroom looked like thait room from Saw.

As a trans-girl, mens rooms are a traumatic place. It takes a wealth of self-confidence to go into the girls room, and its the one place where getting ‘read’ might get you in handcuffs. I’ve never had an issue, i’ve always passed well enough to never have trouble, and I think most people would have no problem if you didnt pass but didn’t act suspicious, especially here in liberal California. It’s all about confidence, if you know you belong there, you belong there. I feel kind-of silly sometimes if there’s a massive line at a bar to the girls room and noone in the mens, but with the good comes the bad.

I guess part of the reason why i’m so into diapers is because i’ve always been nervous about the restroom, especially as a kid. I could never go if there was anyone else in the room, but diapers are so much more private, personal, and based on alot of restrooms, more hygenic. I’m definitly one to tuck my hand into my sleeve or use my shirt to open bathroom doors, yet again, I’m a bit compulsive.

Now and then if I don’t feel completely passing, after a few days on the road or after a long flight, I’ll use the mens room. Double-takes are frequent in this case, I often have people come in, look at me, look at the sign on the door, look at me again, and then basically stand there until I either walk out or say something. Another fun thing, I was at a buckhorn grille in San Fransisco and they had to unlock the restroom for me. I had a 2 day fuzz going and was wearing a pretty androgonous Aphex Twin shirt and the poor girl at the counter had to ask me which door she should unlock. It was really embarrassing for her, but I thought it was cute like a dog looking in a mirror… worst analogy ever. Fun also comes from AMPM’s that have the magnetic locks on the doors, so they can remotely let people in. I got an Indian guy so confused one day when I was not so feminine but had to change, I went for the mens room but he unlocked the girls room, then when I went for the girls but he unlocked the mens. I eventually went into the girls, but it was awkward

So that’s yet another post about public restrooms. More stuff soon, including a video about disguising diapers under clothes. Seeya sooooon!

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6 thoughts on “passing game and double takes

  1. Hi, great but true post about feeling funny with restrooms. I feel funny at most buying these products for me and my partner since we are disabled. As a result,we require personal assistance from the pharmacy staff to help us select the correct package. It feels more problematic when you return together or solo and have someone remember you and what you bought inquiring if you need said item again. My only concern with restrooms are the echos from the products especially when one is walking near another person or changing from one product to another.

  2. Riley I think you're just about the last person on the planet who would have trouble passing for a girl. You look far more feminine than a lot of girls I know and if you ever went into the mens restroom you would probably freak out all the guys. ^__^

  3. I've always wondered about how it feels for any Trans to differentiate between the girls and boys rooms. Its actually funny that you posted about that now of all times because I again thought about it just very recently.

    Btw check your e-mail 😛 2 e-mails waiting 😉


  4. im suprised some pervs are like wanna go in the stall with me when u go in the boys bathroom ha cant wait till ur next w/e its cALLED

  5. Hi,
    just wanted to let you know that the toilets in the students' union (and hopefully other places soon)at the University of Manchester in England have had their signs officialy changed to read “toilets with urinals” and “toilets without urinals”.

    Here's hoping it catches on.

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