This is the story of my transition

Lets get serious for a moment, shall we?

Before I say anything about myself, I want to make sure that you know how brave you are for reading this. You’ve managed to break out of societal norms and ventured into the “sub-culture” This is a new struggle, transgender people are still outside of the mainstream and gasping for air. When society finally started to get its act together, racial boundaries were at the forefront of the human rights movement. After that, the sexual revolution attempted to level the playing field between XX and XY. The fires still burn strong in the “love” movement, and living comfortably and safely as a sexually free person is only really granted to people in isolated communities in comparison to society as a whole.

And on the sidelines stands the gender movement, waiting to break past the fear and stereotypes to allow individuals to express their gender freely. The suicide rate among transgendered people is cause for alarm (actual stats/facts as the blog and my research goes on) and I’ve gone through some really dark times, both instigated by other people and my own negativity towards myself. I’ve had a pretty tough time, and my whole mission in life is to keep other people from having to go through all the worries I have, as a child, an awkward young teen, a suicidal high school student, a confused but inspired young adult, and a strung-out social butterfly.

This site will provide a day-by-day chronicle of my transition from who I am today, a confident, happy, full-of-life transgendered-girl into a physically and emotionally complete woman. Expect information on what I’m taking, what I’m going through physically and emotionally, lots of pictures and videos. This is the story of my transition, I’m finally getting serious about getting SRS.

hormones appointment!

Today’s a big day for me, at 2:45 I’m going in for what will hopefully be the doctors appointment where I get my Estradiol prescription. I have a clean bill of mental health from my therapist and am getting re-established with the doctor whom I originally saw when planning on starting hormones. This is a little quick post, more info on my history of transitioning and what the future holds after this appointment.

I’m really excited!!!

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wtf is a jaggle

This site is talking about me, but babel fish wont give me any answers, just extremely rough definitions. They seem to be quite fascinated by my second frog and toad video, and it makes me realize that AB/DL people span the globe,and that other countries are just as open to their curiosity of it, and the media is just as open to exploitation for a few laughs/website hits.

As P.T. Barnum quipped, “any publicity is good publicity” – I agree, as long as it doesn’t get me killed.

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diapers they are a changin’

Oh how I love Kimberley-Clarke for constantly giving me new review material! Everything else about them I can’t stand, but at least they did the AB/DL scene a favor by not going the way of every other diaper manufacturer and kept the plastic backed briefs that have provided us with so many crinkles over the years! Here’s a visual comparison between the new and second most recent rendition of the Depends briefs

I didn’t make a video they’re almost identical, except for a few minute differences. The main comparison is that the new ones are a bit softer. They are still crinkly and plastic feeling, just not as loud as the last rendition. I was at a Safeway wearing one of these, and I was happy that I didn’t fill up the aisle with a crinkly sound, it was much softer but still crinkly. I’m conflicted, because I like the tell-tale crinkles but the discretion of the diaper probably has made incontinent peoples lives a lot less stressful not having to hide the super-loud crinkles.

The Leg gathers are also a bit different, they’re a little softer, and seem to form-fit better

The new Depends also have a little less elasticity when being opened, so they’re easier to get into if your diapering yourself (which i’m used to, the lonely, daddy-less little girl I am)

Other than that, they’re pretty much the same. After speaking with Kimberley Clarke, they mentioned that the packaging has changed, but the product has stayed the same, but the differences, though small, are there. They still do my favorite things that depends do, the waist band sits right at my belly button, so I get that very toddler like feeling of having a diaper stick out of the top of your pants or skirt. If my shirt moves the wrong way or if I’m reaching something high up, you can see just a little bit poking out and i just love the secure high-waisted diaper feel, makes me feel very little and very care-free 🙂

I wore something normal to show how the rise is, it can be tucked in. You cant really see it under the pants, but the little tapes stick out most of the time. I like them as much as I did the older ones, I just wish they would crinkle more, but there is always Bambinos and ABUniverse diapers 🙂

Thanks for reading, more stuff soooooon!

P.S. someone sent me this awesome recording of Dylan in ’66 doing “Like A Rolling Stone”, I can’t get enough of it… and if you don’t get why I’m mentioning this, go listen to this. Holds a valuable lesson… “don’t criticize what you can’t understand”
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I’ve got more Links than Hyrule!



Myspace (i never thought i’d make one of these again…)


GoogleVideo -no longer allows uploads but has some of my videos on there, Bedwetting Pt.2 mostly 🙂

Fetlife – Great Site!

DiaperSpace – not a great site, but good chat room

UrNotAlone – Decent trans site, lots of subscription pestering

ClubSissy – Large community, mostly dating focused.


I’ve never been too much of a chatter/social networker online, but I wanted to spread my wings out a bit into different parts of the AB/DL, trans and fetish community. Also, don’t get bugged by the random age differences on the site, its just my way of keeping it vague 🙂

Also, I’ve decided to stick with the classic logo, except for special occasions or widely distributed pics. Thanks for the input!

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ABCorner, Video and New Logo!

Hello diaper fans, today I’m going to need your help choosing a logo. I spoke with the head of ABCorner and he whipped up a logo for me, check it out and tell me what you think!

And here’s another one, just for fun 🙂

Let me know what you think, comment or E-mail. On another positive note I was checking out the ABKingdom Forums, and I found one of my old tutorials posted on the french google video. I’m glad its still around, enjoy!

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If you haven’t seen this picture, what the hell are you doing reading my blog? Go rent, download or buy it!

also Annie Hall is really good, and Holy Mountain

ALSO, check out this threat posted on for my store. I’m pretty sure I have to transfer or quit my job, to be honest, you haven’t seen half of the abuse I’ve taken due to being transgendered person in an gentrified Russian/Christian environment

“this little faggot named riley is going to get his ass beat next time i see the bitch try to call security on me see what its got you your dead faggot ill be waiting outside pussy bitch watch your back”

gotta love

More on this later, and as I’ve said before… no legal advice please! I’ve sent an open letter to my employer and to Lamba, SGA, ACLU, and a couple other acronyms. Police report has been filed, but all I ask for is sympathy, and love, and maybe a clean diaper 🙂

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new york city is a graveyard

But my town here in California is merely a hospital. I was sharing a taxi with a friend because it was 105 outside, our mission to get seafood at her work was rudely interrupted by this.

Taxi’s anywhere are awful, and this one was generally more focused on making a quick dollar then he was concerned about our safety. The state would rather see the murder rate go up than support public transit, and a transgendered person murdered on the train is just dirt off their shoulders. Anyway, whoopty-doo, this is the 8th car accident I’ve been in, 1 my fault, 7 bad luck.

P.S. Stop E-mailing me with legal advice! I wasn’t hurt and I don’t sue anyone unless they throw me down a flight of stairs… more on that later.

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