It’s been a stormy month for little Riley Kilo, I totally thought moving into this apartment and having this job would make my life steady for the first time, but no, the indie restaurant business is a fickle beast, and *of no fault of my own* i’m out of a job. We’ve covered this, but i have new things to say, I promise!
What I mainly wanted to talk about was how I felt after being fired, and what I did about it. I’ve always used diapers as a comfort thing, but I’ve never really used it to cope with “life stuff”. When I would get frustrated before I would likely drink or do something else self destructive that just put me a step back. I thing of every other time in my life where I’ve been at this point of unemployment, I’ve been less than responsible but this time I decided to explore myself instead of trying to destroy.
I think that the worlds been pretty mean to me, so I’m going to turtle for a minute. I can’t work face-to-face customer service anymore, I’ve had to many bad experiences, this last bit with my bosses was the last straw. I could see myself working somewhere nice, like a concierge, but I’m not dealing with the public, I’ve been in customer service for almost a decade now, 3 of that as a girl, I’ve done my time. I need to focus on my video endeavors and my transition, I need to feel safe, I’ve never felt that way, protected. This town is somewhat close minded and I always have issues with stalker-esq customers, all that awful-ness, thats always been my life. I need to explore and learn, travel and school, document my changes and the changing world around me.
Upon losing my job, I did a little bit of crying, but when I was home, settled, I found a little bit of peace, I put on a little bit of comfort music, I don’t remember what now, and changed into a footy sleeper and a abri-form., lots of powder, happy with my pacifier and my music and soft cuddly things. I felt happy and didn’t worry too much about what was going to happen. I got all relaxed and went to bed early, slept great and woke up the next morning to go find an office job. I had resumes printed at kinkos by 8, went to city and state college looking for ad listings, read the paper, did all my adult stuff, didn’t get a chance to “regress” until much later in the evening, I had some friends over, but I still was dressed cute and diapered. Bedtimes in my new place have been lovely, I think that’s whats been keeping me bright and happy, and work so hard to maintain it.
Let’s wrap up the thoughts on this post
1.) I’m being more responsible with my stress management
2.) I’m comfortable with myself, it’s the close-minded and hostile people that make me uncomfortable
3.) You’re going to be seeing much more focused, positive, feminine me!
The last bits of roughness are coming to an end, but this firing was completely unexpected, so donations are VERY appreciated. If you donated in the past, I’m contacting you with my new “friends of Riley” site with naughty little videos just for you 🙂 I’m going to be doing tons of awesome stuff for the folks who’ve donated and all my fans, so keep your eyes here!