leaving town

You would have to have lived in my shoes to fully understand how I feel about all this.
I’ll try my best to explain…
I’m done running into people who still call me by my Christian name, I’m done feeling afraid of the fundamentalists around here who have attacked me before, I’m done doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. I’m done.

At the end of this month, I’m going to depart from my little apartment here in Sacramento, and head towards the bay to start a new life. I have some friends down there and plan to make more. I’ve always been the kind of person that can reach into a tree and pull down an apple. I have charisma before I have money or looks, and I’ve always found like minded people to travel through this thing called life. I’m looking for a career and a place to live. 

If I stayed here in sacramento it would likely kill me. Not to be overly dramatic, but this town has eaten me alive. It’s the people mostly, I see people that I used to deal with. This town has toughned me up, I’ve seen the grimy things it has to offer, drugs, ragers, fast cars, danger, fire, and knives.  Much of my life is in notebooks hidden away, I’ll tell these stories when I’m a little bit further away from them, but I have such sites to show you. My heart is close to the streets, and I know I’ll be able to survive on my own if need be, If I wasn’t sure I’d move in with my mom and get another throw-away job and be unhappy, probably work and subsequently drink myself to death. The service industry is a viscous cycle. 

This is serious business! this is my life, I’m grabbing it by the tits and riding it to the top. I’d like to quote the case of Big Fish V. Small Pond, I’m totally in the public eye here, I’ve always worked in customer service and been involved with activism, I’m an individual, I’m memorable, and it’s made me a target. Simple as that, It’s a fine idea for a person making the kind of transition I am to leave their hometown, to have the freedom to express themselves without negative encounters or meeting people who still gender you as male. I am a transperson here, I’ve been fighting the good fight but need to head to the big leagues. There’s Food Not Bombs and plenty of help for people on their own. there’s work in the city, dreams are fulfilled as often as they are chewed up and spit out, but I will likely find other fishies.that want to school up and make a big impact. 

As long as the internet exists, I will keep blogging. As long as I have breath in my body, I will work towards equality and breaking down the walls that impede the pursuit of happiness. I will create a better life for myself and my fellow humans. No more suicides, no more depression, positivity and understanding that you can overcome anything, even if it takes a change of scenery (or genitalia). All is going to be well, I’nm going to be posting and posting and posting, writing, working on my story and video projects, yoga, stand-up comedy, letting my creativity flow.

This little light of mine… i’m going to let it shine. 

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