what goes on

I really hope you liked that last video, I think it went well, I am constantly in my head debating over weather its a dignified thing to do, if its actually helping anyone, maybe I’m doing more harm then good by being explicit. I’ve always thought the more information the better, and I try to keep it pretty real and I’m by no means an exhibitionist. But lets be honest, I do love attention, especially when its focused towards my feminine nature.

I wore a suit and tie and I watched as other people in suits buried one of my blood relatives today, just a long-lived life passing on, nothing to be sad about or cry about really. Seeing my family is always… well… tense would be a good word for the situation. Scottsdale is a hot place, the drive takes forever, and after losing my dayjob I look pretty worthless to them.  I really thought, really really thought things were going to work out, I have this awesome place but when “yes, you’re not going to be scheduled anymore” left my managers lips, my first thought and every thought after that was “How am I going to be able to afford this place, these hormones, how am I going to live?”

I think I’ve figured it out, but it might be too late. I’ve been more creative than ever, used my camera more than ever. I’ve been Cam Performing and getting more noticed in the “Adult” community, exploring new options and trying to make the best with what I have for now, I would love to have a career in performing/managing/adult content to fund documenting my transition, and in many ways the transition itself. Even in the last few weeks I’ve learned so much about my camera and editing both photos and video, practice and study is something I’ve never had time for, the stranglehold of the 9-5. I’ve been assaulted, stalked, harrassed, and had an overall shitty time in the Customer Service field, and working for myself, really putting in the 8+ hours a day, it’s been rewarding and I know I have what it takes to be successful both in front of and behind the camera.

It’s a funny thing, I’m not worried about rent next month, but this month I seriously have 4 days to come up with a couple hundred dollars I just don’t have. I was denied unemployment, I’m appealing it, ImLive.com doesn’t do well with address changes so the check that was going to save my butt is in check limbo at the moment. so needless to say, this is one of the most challenging points of my life, I’ve made it through so much and have such a journey ahead of me that I can’t imagine taking a step back, it might just break me. Life is a complicated, tough mess sometimes, isn’t it, I’ve seen so much already, It feels like I might be closer to either complete meltdown or smooth sailing depending on the next 4 days. Fun.

OK, enough pity, I have exciting stuff ahead for my friends out in bloggy land, I’ll be keeping you posted! I hope this is the last time I have to beg for donations, I promise after the 15th it will all go towards my transition, and if not, well, they have computers in libraries don’t they? Seriously, I don’t want to have to sell my camera, bed or PC, which is basically all I own. Ask me about clothes you’ve seen in my videos or stuff like that, I’m basically selling everything I can to make it by the 15th.

Death, poverty, losing the things you love… theres nothing I can’t handle…

HERE WE GO! YEAH!!!!!

Dungeon Quest 2

Hey there friends! I went to the dungeon last night, it was *interesting*
I’ll let the video speak for itself, but in summary the 3 main things I noticed…
1.) Very impact play oriented (whipping, flogging, caning, spanking)
2.) Bring your own kinky people 
3.) Significantly younger than most folks there

I could see myself in that place again, the experience of going to that kind of dungeon event is kinda like a level-up, I feel more experienced, I’m less nervous about checking out other events. All went well, I kept my panties on and made it out alive and unscathed, but as single as ever.
Todays post was about last night, tomorrows post will be about today, August 8th. 
Feel awesome today, listen to this song, and remember Joybubbles!

Dungeon Quest 2

Hey there friends! I went to the dungeon last night, it was *interesting*
I’ll let the video speak for itself, but in summary the 3 main things I noticed…
1.) Very impact play oriented (whipping, flogging, caning, spanking)
2.) Bring your own kinky people 
3.) Significantly younger than most folks there

I could see myself in that place again, the experience of going to that kind of dungeon event is kinda like a level-up, I feel more experienced, I’m less nervous about checking out other events. All went well, I kept my panties on and made it out alive and unscathed, but as single as ever.
Todays post was about last night, tomorrows post will be about today, August 8th. 
Feel awesome today, listen to this song, and remember Joybubbles!

New Bambino First Impressions!!!

Hello there diaper fans! I have some *exclusive* pictures of the new Teddy Bambinos!!!

Aren’t they cuuuuuuuute??? These pictures were taken by a dear, sweet friend of mine, I haven’t actually gotten my mitts on them yet but I’m really excited. Neither myself or my friend are associated with Bambino, we’re just big diaper fans and like to share with other diapered folks. Here’s the first impressions! 
“Bambino’s done it again! The new Teddy bambinos are the softest, bulkiest diapers by Bambino to date. The pictures show a comparison between the bianco and the teddy, both medium, you can see the difference in size but the real difference is softness. These are wonderfully soft, it’s akin to love on our skin and abrasion rashes will likely become a thing of the past. The new tapes pull out and keep everything quite snug, and the design is the cutest yet! I’ve purchased and tried everything the Bottom Half Group has put out and have to say this is the best so far. Though I have yet to test the absorbency, Bambinos have always been plenty absorbent and I’m sure this will keep up that tradition. I even got a new sample of the booster panel which will surely make for some fun bulky diaper times!”
Well, there you have it! The new Bambinos are awesome, and I can’t wait until I have my cute little bottom in one! As soon as I do, look forward to the video 🙂
*UPDATE*
I hear awful things about the tapes, may be diaper-destroying defect 😦

mouseynight

I’ve had a couple spooky nights lately, where I live is very old and last night I read this tale of lies before bed. I was sleeping soundly, until I was awoken, groggy, and it sounded like someone was scratching at the large double doors to my room. I freak out a little bit and keep on hearing listening, not sure what to do. Its dark and cold, I’m nakkies and in bed, I build up the courage to kick the door jamb enough to acknowledge I was there and I hear the tell tale sound of something hauling ass out of the room. I get up and turn on the lights, in late night scaredy-cat mode where I don’t want to open the doors, thats the last thing I would do. 

This place is oooold and there could be spooky energies! I know that sounds so silly but we all think a little different when awoken in the middle of the night. Long story short, pretty much every 45 second from then on, I would   hear a *tck *tck *tck on my door, I’d rustle the door, mouse would haul ass, I’d get almost back to sleep, and then *tch*tck*tck. Theres been some construction so micey friends have been an issue, my roomate is anti-mousetrap, and the constructions going to be over this weekend. I guess it’s ok to still be afraid of ghosts, but I think I might be more afraid of mice 😛

mousetrap

I woke up this morning and just started sneezing, sneeze after sneeze, probably 7 sneezes in I completely peed all over my night dress. I would be angry, but I was doing a little video last night and put the bedwetting sheets on, so it didn’t ruin anything, I just started the morning out a little wetter than usual. No diaper last night, trying to conserve, I’ll add sneeze fits as reason #1383 why I should be diapered all the time. Picture is my post wetting coldbuster 😛

I’ve had a couple spooky nights lately, where I live is very old and last night I read this tale of lies before bed. I was sleeping soundly, until I was awoken, groggy, and it sounded like someone was scratching at the large double doors to my room. I freak out a little bit and keep on hearing listening, not sure what to do. Its dark and cold, I’m nakkies and in bed, I build up the courage to kick the door jamb enough to acknowledge I was there and I hear the tell tale sound of something hauling ass out of the room. I get up and turn on the lights, in late night scaredy-cat mode where I don’t want to open the doors, thats the last thing I would do. This place is oooold and there could be spooky energies! I know that sounds so silly but we all think a little different when awoken in the middle of the night. Long story short, pretty much every 45 second from then on, I would   hear a *tck *tck *tck on my door, I’d rustle the door, mouse would haul ass, I’d get almost back to sleep, and then *tch*tck*tck. Theres been some construction so micey friends have been an issue, my roomate is anti-mousetrap, and the constructions going to be over this weekend, but yeah… 
That’s my scaredy mousey story. And then I woke up and totally peed myself. I’m pretty awesome. 

Sniffles etc

Here’s a LetsGetSRS video of me having the sniffles. I am back to full form today, i’m getting to some emails today, I’m in my sleeper, a bit of OJ in my favorite cup, doing some editing and kinda half playing Pokemon Yellow while stuff renders. This is what I’m training…

Kakihara is a gyarados, and Riley is the Pikachu. I never beat it when I played it the first time, but I beat blue and red on an emulator before Yellow came out, I was obssessed but only had a PC. I was going through some older nostalgic kind of stuff and ran into my copy of Pokemon Yellow. I remember buying that forever ago, we’d save up money from neighborhood kind of work or birthdays etc and buy games at blockbuster because they were cheeaaaaaap. I found it right after I inherited an old gameboy when my roommate moved out so I’ve been playing it now and then. It’s a fun game, I like how Yellow is more like the show, I recently downloaded the “indigo leauge” which is like the first season, all 82 episodes of it. I frankly don’t think I’ve seen all the episodes, when I stopped caring about pokemon was when I stopped caring about just about anything, 8th grade, I’ve told the story of how my wrists were broken by a bully and the profound effect it had on me, if ya missed it i’m sure it’ll come back around again.

Pokemon was always a really neat thing in my life. I remember just loving it, the colors of the logo, all that stuff, it just made me really excited to catch em all, or whatever my interpretation of that was. I was into pokemon a little longer than most kids, I stopped liking pokemon because I was bully-bait already, Pokemon was in the lull between current and retro. Plus I was having issues with looking my age, I’m not sure if I’ve ever really mentioned this, but I was under 5 feet until high school and then damn short until senior year. I’m 5’7” now, so my perspectives changed a bit.

It’s a funny thing, how life goes like that. I totally embrace my love for pokemon now, and look forward to watching the rest of the show, maybe even getting current with it. I never really have time to sit down and watch stuff, but Pokemon is so inane that I can watch it while, say, writing a blog post. I’ve watched a couple episodes writing this post alone. I’ll be posting some new stuff, I have a new “secret blog” that I’m posting stuff too now and then, it’s for donators only and has some really naughty stuff on there. I’m 10 days away from not having an apartment, trying not to panic. 
Anyway, Bambino has a new stuffer and diaper, diaperspace is back, I love Bambinos so its kinda interesting but no significant change, and diaperspace has a cafepress with some cool designs, but it’s just a cafepress. I’ll be posting more stuff soon, I’m going to be talking about my breasts on LetsGetSRS and about Attends on here, hope thats exciting ❤