teddy bear picnic

Inglorious Basterds
and now… Shutter Island

Last night my friends watched Inglorious Basterds, a calculatingly brutal movie, and tonight, we watched Bronson, and we just started shutter island.. before i decided to name this post “Teddy Bear Picnic”, surprising that the main characters name is “Teddy”. Shutter Island looks pretty fail compared to the last two, I’m not a fan of the 300 kind of CGI background look. Make it black and white not Sepia! The crossdressing brother from The Drew Carey Show is also in it, kinda fels like a bunch of celebrities putting on a high school interpretation of “Twin Peaks” with a ending that broadcasts itself with little mystery, like say, the story of the titanic… ha. Whatever, i’m not so worried, looks like it might be a good movie… Ok, I’ll stop narrating the movie and get to my point.

I’m a sweet little girl, you know that by reading my site, i’m cute and fun and all that. I’ve been receiving a wealth of responses saying “I can’t believe you’re the kind of girl that would strip” or “poor girl, how will you make it on your own” and my response to that is, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW! I’ve been dealing with the ins and outs of the independent world, i’ve been on the streets on the east coast for a bit of time, and have always kept my ears to the pavement in Sacramento. Sacramento is a small town with an underground community that keeps things exciting, without saying too much, there’s a decent scene going down around there, and I’ve seen some of the grimier bits.

I could go on about the places i’ve been, the things I’ve seen, the back-alleys, the darkness and the energy, the belligerence and the morning afters, the brights lights in a dim places. All you need to know is that I’m tough, I’m a survivor, I will keep going and keep going stronger, better, faster until I find a place to rest, and I will extrovert my efforts to promote these feelings of confidence in others. This grime, these things I see, the struggle and everything, it just makes the little girl bits that much sweeter. There is no binary to the human experience, the good and the bad all kinda melts together into the wonder that is life.

My next post is a love letter i wrote to my teddy bear, its sad but not without hope. Don’t despair! All is well! If things are down and out for you, understand that the nectar of life is not always sweet, but unique and amazing nonetheless. Don’t fret little ones, the world is a globe, the sun always shines.

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