Folsom is today, i’m dressed up in my little shortalls and diaper 🙂

All is not well in the world of Riley, the crushing feeling of hopelessness, i’m going to put on a smiley face and hopefully have a good experience, do some good networking today, maybe start going down a more positive path. I am starting to understand what its like to be broken, helpless in many ways, I hope I don’t feel like this for long. Oct. 5th I should be out of this mess, the unemployment appeal is hopefully going to net me enough in unpaid unemployment to get an apartment… it’s easier to find a job with an address and a judicially affirmed unfair firing, my employment record sucks until all this gets figured out. I’ve always had a job, i’ve been more productiv creatively in the last 26 days than I ever have, but at what cost? I’m trying my best to hide it but I am living out of my backpack, employers don’t jump on that when theres a million college students looking for jobs. The good won’t come out just yet, I’m going to fall apart, I need to find happiness, joy, love, safety, rest. I’m hurting right now, a hurdle to overcome. I am going to make it, I just hope I don’t destroy my ankle/lose my mind before then. I’m awesome, I can do it, I will become everything I want to be, until then I’m just a nowhere nothin’ fuckup.

now say a word for Karen Brown
she can’t tell the night from the day
they threw her out in the street
just like a cat she landed on her feet

4 thoughts on “fuuuuu

  1. Hey Riley,

    I just wanted to send you some moral support over the interwebs. It might not mean much coming from a stranger, but I've been reading your blog for a while and I just wanted to remind you how strong and resilient you are, in case you forgot. And, to let you now that I really look up to you. You seem to be a very level-headed and world-wise person, and yet manage to stay optimistic and find joy in life. I have found that the statement “with great knowledge comes great sadness”(wish I knew who I was quoting) holds jarringly true, and I struggle to not be engulfed by my fears and exasperation at the human race, and am chronically pessimistic and self-destructive. It is really comforting to know there's someone out there who has felt the sting of so much more stupid homo sapien ignorance than I ever will, and yet is still motivated to be herself and strive for the best out of life. Even in your darkest times your writing is a source of inspiration and resonance to me. I guess I'm just saying know that you are appreciated, esteemed, and are far too awesome and badass of a person to succumb to hopelessness and despair when all is said and done. (o^.^o)d <---kirby gives you a thumbs up! Best Regards,
    Seattle, WA

  2. I know exactly how you feel hun. I've been unemployed for the last 3 years and still no closer to getting a job. Having to live with my parents to reduce costs but that also means i don't have the freedom to express myself as a diaper lover.

  3. Kelsey

    I saw your picture on diapermates and think that you are one of the most beautiful people that I have ever seen. I also live in Seattle and would love to talk to you. If you would like to contact me please leave a message here.

    Seattle, WA

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