Let’s get SRS is the name of this blog, it’s a fun little double entendre about my journey, sexual reassignment surgery and getting srsly srs about life. I gave it that name because I do plan to get SRS, it’s a goal of mine, but there’s a good deal of consideration that goes into that, and I don’t make a call until I have all the facts.
I’ve done a wealth of research, but I’ve never really had a long conversation about “everything” with a post-op girl. I remember talking to a full-time girl for the first time, I had so many questions but I was too nervous and flustered to ask them, afraid to sound naive or perverted. Later I became more comfortable, learned more, read more to learn better questions. The Internet is a good tool, but I’ve learned so much from the 1 on 1 interaction, over chat, cam or coffee. I guess I’m that kind of learner, textbooks were always a foreign language to me. I have some XP to gain about the medical and physical effects, and I will share all I learn.
A local friend heard a trans friend tell a story that I love… its basically about a postoperative girl who was doing yoga and while doing a pose she unlocked feelings “down there” that made sex even more awesome from then on. I’m pretty intouch with my body, eat great when I can and keep active and fit. The hormones have a good place to land and any surgery should be without complications, I am in the best health of my life. Regardless of whether the yoga story is true or possible, I’m sure that if and when I get SRS, I’m going to have a very happy vagina.
There’s a ton of reasons why I look forward to SRS, it’s the end of my journey in many ways. I don’t claim to see the future, I like my penis and it has served me well, the times we’ve had together I will never forget. We’ve also had alot of hard times together… A friend once mused “erections are great, except when their not” and the not is the majority in my life, it’s not the way I like to express myself sexually, they don’t *feel* right. I have explored chastity but I see that as harnessed male energy or sexual control and submission, cool but not an ultimate solution.
In the later stages of hormones, my sexual virility will decline, and my erections will be less frequent and potentially cease. That doesn’t mean I still won’t be an excitable little minx, I just will express it differently. If I’m happy with that, I won’t get SRS. If I find that I really don’t want to part with my penis in it’s current form, I won’t, part of my journey is making big decisions like that. Things change, and part of understanding ones life is embracing the fluidity of it. For a while after 9/11, new emotions flooded in, I’ll never forget seeing the second plane hit. I got totally behind George W. Bush, I wanted them to bomb everyone and everything… I was 14, I’m being honest, forgive me. I’m trying to say we all have our own personal 9/11’s, and if things change I won’t be disappointed…
That word, Disappointment, is another big thing. One of the troll reactions I get the most has to do with regretting getting SRS, that it won’t be as I thought it was and I’ll be “sad for the rest of my life” Well, I’ve got quite a few things in my life that I could spend all day regretting, but I move on and work towards making better decisions in the future. SRS is be a big decision, expensive and lifelong, but it’s worth whatever risk to me. Its not to integrate, its not for sex, its for ME. going through that part of my transition is the final and most important step in my transition, the way I’ve seen it since I knew it was possible but it doesn’t make me more or less of a woman than I already am, but it will make me less of a man. Simply, I know it will drastically improve my quality of life, so i’m looking forward to it.
My favorite phrase lately has been “rich tapestry”, it describes my life, sexuality,worldview and personal relations, as intricate as it is unique, complicated and beautiful. A tangled web I’ve woven, my armor, I’ve made it strong but I can still unravel and restich if need be. When I see myself 5 years, I don’t see myself with a penis. When I look In the mirror, I see myself as beautiful, happy girl. When I look in my pants, I see an old friend who’s going to go through quite a big change, but I love and support him.
Thanks for reading, this site has kept me on my toes, always thinking about the next step. My introspection meter is off the charts, and thanks for hearing me out and cheering me on ❤