learning how to smile

Hello again! This is Riley Kilo, packing up her *stuff* and heading east, even more east than she already is! I’m going to be driving out to New Jersey for the North Eastern Littles Invasion, a conference for little folks and their partners. I’m going to be filming the event, and producing a video for the participants, it sounds like it’s going to be a positive, fun, safe event.  After the weekends festivities I’m going to be heading to NYC to visit friends and breathe in some of that city air. It should be an exciting little adventure, I’m actively pursuing the new opportunities that have come my way.

I’ve been good, not exactly great, but maintaining. My breasts are growing dramatically and it’s been wonderful, new feelings and everything. I’ve been very happy with diapers lately, I was afraid the TV experience and constant wearing would deter me from being able to enjoy diapers, this is definitely not the case. My crib has been a wonderful sanctuary for me, it’s beautiful and soft and everything I’ve ever wanted in a crib, i’ve been exploring my little-side with a greater than ever sense of introspection and understanding. It’s been good, and I’m feeling very positive about that part of my life.

Not to say that I’m miserable otherwise, but diapers and being little has been the warmth in what has been a very cold and discontenting(?) winter. I’m exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally. I’ve had a full plate, from traveling back to California to testify as witness (which I’m terribly glad is over) to making television (which I’m sure will be ultimately positive for myself and the community) to caring for a friend in the hospital (which is just what good friends do), life has been very *full*. And y’know, the toughest part of it all isn’t the *events*, it’s the overall depression I’ve been feeling. I’ve overcome many of my issues, but I still am learning how to be happy. I’m much happier when I’m out doing something positive, so I’m really looking forward to my upcoming adventure 🙂

I’m gooooood though, this is just part of life & hormones, I do pretty good when it comes to keeping my sanity. I will be posting more diaper stuff, I’ve been kinda introverted lately, domestic. I’ve been adjusting, I’ve been sleeping on the couch because it’s what I’m used to, but when I do feel like sleeping in the crib it’s really wonderful. I got to the ending of a video game for the first time in a long while, something to keep my hands moving while I lack the ability to be creative. I’ll be posting more stuff soon, and check out the NELIcon event on fetlife, if you haven’t already 🙂



Cute pictures later today, then more stuff sooooon! follow me on twitter @rileybbq – Wish me luck, safety and a positive adventure! Here’s an old one for ya, Everclear was a big band for me when I was younger, I always wanted Art Alexakis to be my Daddy 🙂 I feel so happy to have lived to experience the glory of 90’s music firsthand 😛


More stuff soon 🙂

2 thoughts on “learning how to smile

  1. you keep hanging in there Riley, you seem like it's only a matter of time before you are totally happy.

    AHHH yes Everclear” they have some very good tunes, I have a few of their cd's. I haven't listened to them in awhile so after posting this I am going to check my Ipod out to make sure they are on there so later during my workout I'll listen to them for a refresher. That's cool that you are doing video of NELIcon. I'll see you there.

    “keep smiling” 🙂

    {H}

  2. Happy is a choice Riley. Simply a choice. If you're not happy it's because you are relying on being the effect of external circumstances to illicit happiness in you, thus relinquishing control. <3
    Love Everclear

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