gone and going

To finish a thought or two from the last post, on the topic of education/ways of learning… 

You’re not an idiot Riley, you just need a little help now and then. That’s why there is a community, to reach out to folks who may not be able to gather the resources themselves. After visiting the pride center as well as a local clinic, I have an appointment to see a Dr. late in July. I have a few other places to check and see if I can get in earlier, but the place where I’m scheduled is supposed to be the best in NYC, contact me for more info if you’re from the area. I’ll be writing more about the various pride centers I’ve visited over the years and my most recent experience, all positive and with their own quirks. I’ll be keeping you posted as to my progress, this city has inspired me to not only get my transition in gear but to start sharing it with the world to a further degree. LetsGetSRS is being renovated including trying out new looks/setting up some ad-revenue stuff to help finance my adventures.

Moving on, I’m currently headed to a friends in Brooklyn from the NYC pride center in the West Village, I’m getting more familiar with the transit here, its pretty awesome. I put a cute little outfit on and a splash of make-up before heading out, I always try to look my best at the pride centers and I love to pass well enough where they don’t know why I’m visiting. The train ride was uneventful, and unfortunately so was the meeting… I showed up and sat in an empty room waiting for the people to materialize, which they never did. It was suppose to be a first Monday name change clinic for folks like myself who want to get more legal, instead it was me feeling kinda lonely and writing this.

Before I left my apartment today I took a nice long shower, and when I got out I caught a glimpse of my growing body in the mirror, and I got all weepy and happy, seeing my little forming breasts, which used to be flat, and then little growing fleshy bits, to actual breasts, I actually have breasts! I’ve come so far, and I’m at the point where I’ve made it, i’m a girl, I’m who I’ve wanted to be. “Good job Riley, you’ve made it” I said to myself, and I really feel that way. There’s still a million things to do, but I’m pretty happy with things right now. I could be less hairy, I could be post-op, I really could do some girly things better, but it’s the inner peace that feels soooo good. I’m getting more comfortable everyday, i think my dysphoria has found a happy place, I don’t feel so trans, I just feel Riley.

Sooooooooooooo now I have to learn stuff all by myself! Luckily NYC has a ton of resources, I’m going to try and contact the person who was to lead the clinic today, and hopefully that will be a good start. If not, there’s quite a few other sites/folks I can talk to. The next step after that and trying to find a clinic that will see me sooner is finding a good hair removal clinic, I have had enough of razor burn, cuts and having to shave my dark-haired Irish self every day. My body hair has lightened, but my chest, face and bikini area could use some love, legs/arms/etc also could use a little laser show.

Other than stuff that’s going to make me look/feel better or aid in my transition, my other main focuses right now are cam performance, getting my adult website up and running, finding a consistant photographer and potentially an agent in NYC. Pride is coming up later this month, i’ll maybe get a part-time bar/coffee job, and hopefully some freelance video work, there’s lots to be done and to do. I have to say, where I’m sitting, the roof of a friends apartment, is amazing, the view! Feeling awesome means more video, more expression, it’s really hard to make it through the postproduction process when you can’t stand your own visage, everything I shoot here brings a smile to my face, I hope you’ll like it too 🙂

Look forward to some video in the near future, stuff about  LGB vs T, the mainstreaming of Pride, trans punk rockers, physical/mental changes, life in the city and other tales. It’s been a pretty interesting journey and it keeps getting better and better! Read, share, comment and enjoy 🙂

2 thoughts on “gone and going

  1. Between shaving and shooting video… typing and transporting… where do you even find time to do all the things you blog about? I'm in awe of what you can accomplish. I only wish I could do as much in a single day as you seem to be able to do. The more the merrier, though, as your readers are eager for each installment.

  2. From shaving to shooting video, transporting to typing a blog, I wonder when you find the time to do any of it. I only wish that I had the kind of spirit that you do to make things happen. Keep it up. The more the merrier. And the more you do and blog, the more we get to read.

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