twitterpated #4 – slutty beasts

Here’s another post collating old adventures! Hope you enjoy, today we’re setting the wayback machine to exactly one-hundred days ago…
rileybbq 100 days ago Twitter
I think my roommates cat has been watching me cam too often #sluttyanimals
Being a “cam performer” changes your perception of a number of things. When I worked at a coffee shop, I lived coffee, that same effect can happen in the sex industry. You start to think that others have sex on their minds as much as you do, when most people are really just thinking of their jobs/vehicles/mortgage payments. It’s not like your having horny thoughts, it’s more about competition, sizing up other women, noticing flaws. There’s a change in how attention is perceived, it can take a moment to convince yourself that no one on your subway car knows about your dayjob, that not everyone is staring at you with that male gaze. Once I started getting recognized in the street the mindfuck of it all really set in, the mix between fear and fame, it’s an emotional speedball straight to the ego.
recent post talked about the unnerving nature of constant exposure, but what really gets me is forgetting the cameras there and scratching your nose in a incriminating way, or just forgetting that there are strangers watching. You get in the mindset that everyone is recording everything all the time, that starts to leak into real life, the term “casual” dissapears, especially in NYC. Dressing down feels like a costume, musty clothes become heroin chic, your ego runs wild, you feel like your mere existence is a gift to the senses of others. I don’t really get off on others watching me, but the attention can be a bit of a confidence booster… or destroyer depending on the situation. 
And through that comes a few words of wisdom for those taking part in the vapid industry of *image*… there’s always going to be someone more and less attractive than you. That sounds pretty vain and silly, but yeah, it helps sometimes. Beauty is a construct, it’s a judgement made person by person, and it doesn’t mean a damn thing in a life-raft. I wish beauty and the pursuit of it wasn’t such a big deal, but it is, and it’s a good way to raise money and influence others. If you go into it with that mindset, it will be harder to let it consume you, one persons ugly is another persons beautiful, don’t let that nonsense get you down, if I was a cheesy motivational speaker, i’d tell my audience to “Be You” before “Beautiful”… “Be You To Full” or something silly like that.  
Enough of that… please enjoy this picture of my roommates uncouth kitty.
rileybbq 98 days ago
This is what’s under my cocktail dress tonight, oh the joys of being a crinkly little seductress 🙂

Speaking of uncouth…
I love dressing up all posh and cute, knowing that i’m wearing a little pink pair of princess pull-ups under my little dress or skirt ❤ In tandem with stockings and a pair of white cotton panties (with little pink hearts) I can't think of anything more attractive on a young lady ❤
This was me on my way to one of the tgirl parties in Manhattan, usually change into panties when I show up, i’ve even been known to wet on the subway ride there, but that’s risky in pull-ups 😛
rileybbq 3 months, 1 week ago 
Candice (from the show) and I kickin’ it in Brooklyn a few days back – reality, not television ❤

James and Candice and I still talk often, still good friends, they put on quite a show. My friends/readers/well-wishers are the most important thing in the world to me. Without them/you, I’m nothing.
rileybbq 93 days ago rileybbq
Another #zine pic – #hipster girl wets her pants before it was cool

These are from a couple vintage AB/DL zines circa the 1980’s, so excited to have found these! Zine culture is real, tangible, physical media, a pure form of expression these are made by hand and xerox’d, a labor of love to be traded, sold and hidden. As an archivist these are a really big deal to me, part of *our* living history, these are a testament to the underground, to free press, how far would you have gone to find others like you? The internet spoils us… we’ve gotta stay hungry, independent media is ours to create. Look forward to more from these zines, including live webcam storytimes (free!) for my ABDL friends ❤
rileybbq 93 days ago
lacy nighty night
Crinkly diaper girl in an attends and a cute little night dress ❤
More stufffff sooon! Another Twitterpated post coming up next, then a little video from Lancaster, PA and other fun surprises! StayDiapered and hope all is well, still getting back to folks on E-mail, if you’ve written me, please be patient!


I’ve been diversifying.
Reaching out to the mainstream.
I consider transsexual pornography to be mainstream
Am I out of touch?
I’m putting myself out there. 
 Goals and quests and ideas still to accomplish.
I’ve got potential.
Not matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise.
I’ve been taking my past into consideration. 
Learning, healing, growing, i’m a grown woman, an old soul, still a kid. 
We modern humans make thousands of decisions a day.
What’s the standard success rate? 
I’ve been imagining myself as an old woman.
 Smiles and a sundress, shopping for produce at a farmers market. 
By now I’ve learned to carry the weight of my experiences
I walk lightly on my feet and always wear colors
All sorts of good stuff soon.
Thanks for reading ❤
photos by WendySummers

Hotel New York

I’m in a hotel in Bing-hamp-ton NY, headed to Niagara. Listening to the song below,you might know this band, they did the original version of the “That 70’s Show” theme song and their lead singer, Alex Chilton sang “The Letter” when he was 16 years old. They’re fantastic and really influential, I love this era of music, 70’s vinyl, great driving music. The words of this song keep me going and I never travel far without a little Big Star.

I’m leaving the Bronx behind for now, i’ll be back to travel around further reaches of the coast in December, just taking some time to straighten my head and answer about a million emails I’ve received since June. Toronto activists, kinksters and crinkly people should contact me, I may be in the area. Organizing a NYC littles munch around Dec 6th, have other adventures planned. That’s about it, more video, reviews, webcam chats and thoughts on regressing back from short skirt and long jacket to babydoll dresses and padded undies. More stuff soon, I’ll still be trying hard, against strong odds ❤

white rabbit

If I don’t update right now I won’t for a few days, this one will be short and sweet as I’m just about to head out to Brooklyn, getting my affairs in order before I head upstate. More stuff sooooon, thoughts on my crinkly weekend in PA, dungeons, new stuffed animals, changes of scenery, queers, canadians, cribs, friends, sweet sorrow and snuggle suit season!. Video soon, pics now ❤



twitterpated #3 – media leak

Hello friends! This is another post looking back on my time in NYC – adventure and twitterposts and pics and crinkles! Enjoy ❤

rileybbq 101 days ago Twitter
This makes me really, really sad 😦

A couple days after the TLC show came out my PC completely failed. I eventually got it back up but had to use an older one for a while, goes to show how when it rains, it pours. I’m not showing this pic because I think it’s fascinating that my PC died, the key point of this picture is the cameras, their apetures yawning and blinking at me all the time. The line between real-life and media can really blur sometimes, it can be dissociative and if you don’t have a strong sense of self transmedia can and will eat your brains. Simply put, it can be hard to tell where you end and where your presence begins.

rileybbq 98 days ago Twitter
I just had to get comfy and diapered just to remember why I do all this stuff 🙂 #diaperpics

I’ve been wearing diapers on and off for over a decade, its still wonderful and special and makes me really happy. I’ve been putting ABDL media out for a good chunk of that decade, and at points it can be frustrating, aspects of diapers/regression and the community can lose their shimmer. If i’m depressed or stressed or preoccupied I easily forget how happy they make me, thats why being 24/7 has always enhanced my quality of life. I create a little game where you keep yourself (it’d be easier if I had a daddy) in diapers, I pretend that I really need them, and it keeps me all smiley and crinkly and kinda sad sometimes, but a good kind of sad. Diapers are a way to express feelings that I wouldn’t otherwise be able to… the friends and lovers that have gotten to know me personally know I have walls. These walls that are up for a reason, but that’s another post…

rileybbq 3 months, 1 week ago Twitter
Pissy pants girl 😦  

If I have one kind of incontinence, it’s urge incontinence. The cause of this could be the issues I have with the base of my spine, or the 8 car accidents I’ve been in (only 1 was my fault) or the hormones i’m taking. Of course, the most likely reason is the fact that I wear diapers all the time and kinda have a thing for wetting my diapers. Urge incontinence means that your need to wet can be triggered, and that the bladder muscles can function inappropriately. Washing your hands is a good example, whenever I do the dishes I suddenly feel a strong need to wet my diapers. I also have “hand on the door syndrome” in which whenever I get close to home or know that I’ll be using the potty soon, I feel a much stronger feeling of needing to wet.

In this case, I just got off the subway a few blocks away from my apartment and it was raining… this is double tough, you’re surrounded by running water and i’m about to get home. I was wearing a S/M underjams under my jeans, I had some I picked up at a thrift store and they absorb ok, but I rarely wet them. This time I didn’t really have an option, I was standing waiting for the light on a particularly aggressive corner in the Bronx, and the urge to wet hit me like a ton of bricks. I went from happily walking home to “omg i’m going to piss myself” in seconds flat, so I did. I’ve wet myself on that corner before in better diapers , and I get strange looks from people like “why isn’t she walking?” and I usually look at my phone like I haven’t noticed the light changing. Even in the rain, it would have been pretty obvious that I was wetting myself, so I sprang across the street, this set off whats known as Stress Incontinence – wetting when you cough/sneeze/exercise.

By the time I got across the street I was already wetting, I had to just stand under this Metro North overpass while I pretended to do something else other than pee my pants, luckily there were no pedestrians around. I tried to pace myself so I didn’t flood the diaper, but the underjams are super thin, more of a reminder that you’re diapered rather than something you can actually utilize. I totally leaked, soaked my jeans, closed my umbrella to try to hide a little bit of my shame by soaking the rest of my body, and kinda waddled back to my building, hoping I wouldn’t run into any residents, especially the super or my flatmate. I got home safe, no strange looks or questions I wouldn’t want to answer. Just a wet little girl who really needs a change 😛

rileybbq 3 months, 1 week ago Twitter
@Wstf2000 the scary thing is, I was 😛 underjams don’t hold much, I’m in a proper diaper now 🙂

This is a response to a friend who asked why I wasn’t in diapers. The picture is me shortly after my little accident, happy dry crinkly cuddle bunny 😛

rileybbq 2 months 3 weeks ago Twitter
Bright lights, big city, little girl on her way home from a dungeon in the rain #nyclightning

This picture was taken at 4:00am during a storm. The sound, the light, the reflections, NYC is magic.
I’m off to Pennsylvania for a fun diapered weekend, should be packing not posting 😛 More stuff soon!!!