Here’s another post collating old adventures! Hope you enjoy, today we’re setting the wayback machine to exactly one-hundred days ago…
I think my roommates cat has been watching me cam too often #sluttyanimals
Being a “cam performer” changes your perception of a number of things. When I worked at a coffee shop, I lived coffee, that same effect can happen in the sex industry. You start to think that others have sex on their minds as much as you do, when most people are really just thinking of their jobs/vehicles/mortgage payments. It’s not like your having horny thoughts, it’s more about competition, sizing up other women, noticing flaws. There’s a change in how attention is perceived, it can take a moment to convince yourself that no one on your subway car knows about your dayjob, that not everyone is staring at you with that male gaze. Once I started getting recognized in the street the mindfuck of it all really set in, the mix between fear and fame, it’s an emotional speedball straight to the ego.
A recent post talked about the unnerving nature of constant exposure, but what really gets me is forgetting the cameras there and scratching your nose in a incriminating way, or just forgetting that there are strangers watching. You get in the mindset that everyone is recording everything all the time, that starts to leak into real life, the term “casual” dissapears, especially in NYC. Dressing down feels like a costume, musty clothes become heroin chic, your ego runs wild, you feel like your mere existence is a gift to the senses of others. I don’t really get off on others watching me, but the attention can be a bit of a confidence booster… or destroyer depending on the situation.
And through that comes a few words of wisdom for those taking part in the vapid industry of *image*… there’s always going to be someone more and less attractive than you. That sounds pretty vain and silly, but yeah, it helps sometimes. Beauty is a construct, it’s a judgement made person by person, and it doesn’t mean a damn thing in a life-raft. I wish beauty and the pursuit of it wasn’t such a big deal, but it is, and it’s a good way to raise money and influence others. If you go into it with that mindset, it will be harder to let it consume you, one persons ugly is another persons beautiful, don’t let that nonsense get you down, if I was a cheesy motivational speaker, i’d tell my audience to “Be You” before “Beautiful”… “Be You To Full” or something silly like that.
Enough of that… please enjoy this picture of my roommates uncouth kitty.
rileybbq 98 days ago
This is what’s under my cocktail dress tonight, oh the joys of being a crinkly little seductress 🙂
Speaking of uncouth…
I love dressing up all posh and cute, knowing that i’m wearing a little pink pair of princess pull-ups under my little dress or skirt ❤ In tandem with stockings and a pair of white cotton panties (with little pink hearts) I can't think of anything more attractive on a young lady ❤
This was me on my way to one of the tgirl parties in Manhattan, usually change into panties when I show up, i’ve even been known to wet on the subway ride there, but that’s risky in pull-ups 😛
rileybbq 3 months, 1 week ago
Candice (from the show) and I kickin’ it in Brooklyn a few days back – reality, not television ❤
James and Candice and I still talk often, still good friends, they put on quite a show. My friends/readers/well-wishers are the most important thing in the world to me. Without them/you, I’m nothing.
These are from a couple vintage AB/DL zines circa the 1980’s, so excited to have found these! Zine culture is real, tangible, physical media, a pure form of expression these are made by hand and xerox’d, a labor of love to be traded, sold and hidden. As an archivist these are a really big deal to me, part of *our* living history, these are a testament to the underground, to free press, how far would you have gone to find others like you? The internet spoils us… we’ve gotta stay hungry, independent media is ours to create. Look forward to more from these zines, including live webcam storytimes (free!) for my ABDL friends ❤
rileybbq 93 days ago
lacy nighty night
Crinkly diaper girl in an attends and a cute little night dress ❤
More stufffff sooon! Another Twitterpated post coming up next, then a little video from Lancaster, PA and other fun surprises! StayDiapered and hope all is well, still getting back to folks on E-mail, if you’ve written me, please be patient!