diaper thread

I woke up this morning as I have the last few, waking dozely in the dawns light, repositioning my tiny little body into a position in which I can comfortably wet my diaper… and I do, I feel the diaper swell, not worrying about leaks, just holding my bear and letting go. I snuggle back up and drift off to a dream…
After changing into a fresh diaper this morning, doing a little shower/start my day routine, I see the rainy day and decide to spend some time writing. Sitting down at my computer, I decided a review of the Tena’s would be a good idea, a video even. I start to conceptualize, my hands are on my keyboard, but my fingers aren’t moving, a new tab is open, i’m distracted. I do something silly, immature, something that is always a mistake, I move my mouse to the address bar and type “4” and press enter, sending me directly to 4chan.  
I guess sometimes I need immediate satisfaction, validation, I had wet my diapers in the process of cleaning up my apartment for the video, and I was feeling very cuddly, cute, in need of attention. I took a couple pics, the posters were rather nice, as opposed to the usual hate that flows out of that site. I don’t post on the chans too often, 2008 was a big chan year for me, lots of trapping and diaper threads, a silly, silly thing to be a part of. People tend to post as me, it’s weird to see someone use your pictures to seduce others, but there’s weirder things on 4chan than that. I never made the video, but I will, i’m quite fond of these diapers though I do fall in love easily, with diapers at least.
Oooooh Lightning just struck outside… It’s cold and rainy here in paradise, luckily I have plenty of diapers here to keep me company. And internet friends… and bears and puppies and bunnies and even a monkey 😛 I tend to keep good company. Thanks for reading my little faceplant with the creative process. 
More stuff sooon.
Moar ❤

Crinkle Party!

Hello friends! I had a lovely time doing the Riley Kilo Crinkle&Cuddle Hour (Tentative title) this Friday. There were more people than ever and we played some little games, talked marshmallows and I showed off my diaper stash 😛 Thanks everyone for coming, let’s do it again soon!

"How I Wet Your Mother"

If there’s two things that make me smile, it’s diapers & the Simpsons. Last Sunday, these things collided in a weird-ass episode, it’s 1/2 Inception, 1/2 bedwetting fanfic and makes me feel weird. Read ahead or watch it on Hulu first, as this post is full of spoilers! 

I’ve been watching the simpsons as long as I can remember, I was 3 when “Simpsons Roasting Over An Open Fire” came out, the first episode, and I’ve watched ever since. I’ve missed some of the more recent episodes and honestly, I think season 13 was the last decent season, with a few good episodes here and there since. I don’t watch many new shows, and find myself returning to the familiarity and comfort of 90’s TV…. or Diapers.
I saw this picture on Reddit the other day, “lol wut” was my only reaction. I did a little research and found that Homer becomes a bedwetter in the most recent episode of The Simpsons…

I honestly don’t know how to feel. I didn’t like how Homer was emasculated, the gags were pretty easily achieved and it forced nostalgia and “smart” jokes… but the Simpsons has been failing in that manner for the last 10 seasons, this was a little different, it was dark, it made me sad at points, still does. Basically, Homer screws over his friends and Karma kicks in, causing him to wet the bed.

He hides it from Marge and the kids, until he tries out a too obvious bedwetting alarm, and the awkward “what’s that under the sheets” conversation begins. In the context of hiding something embarrassing from family it was awkward, this is why people are anxious, hiding feelings from my parental figures (rollercoasters, bullying and certain Simpson episodes among other things) are why I’m a pretty anxious adult, and maybe why I so thoroughly embrace comfort objects.

Poor Homer! He’s super upset about wearing diapers, and Marge laments “sorry Homer, a diaper is just not sexy”. I don’t know how to feel about that, I like diapers, and I like sex, sometimes at the same time, sometimes not, I can be a sexy adult in diapers, and a cuddly girl in grown-up clothes… it’s all quiet confusing. In the context of a Nuclear family, the kind of sex a married cis & hetero couple would have, diapers don’t really fit in. The sex I have is all over the place, flowing, kinky, taboo, playing with age, gender, roles, textures, objects, sometimes I just happen to be wearing diapers and end up having sex in them, sometimes I get put in them for the specific reason of being sexualized. It’s confusing, this is why this episode has got me all frazzled. Marge in diapers would have been sexy, that’s the only solid thought I have on all of this. 
The episode gets ridiculous, Marge seeks alternatives after homer gets obnoxious about his diapers, and they use an Inception-esq machine to go into Homers dreams, and it all gets pretty sci-fi silly from then on. They don’t really revisit the diapers from then on, instead bringing back his mother and creating a flashback storyline from that. Not really funny, but interesting, good animation, the South Korean children that animate the Simpsons get better every year 😛
That was bad, this was bad, if there’s diapers on TV, it’s usually pretty bad, this one just hit close to home. After a couple days of letting it all sink in, I get that Truman Show-esq tingle in your spine, like this episode is a glitch in the Matrix, your brain trying to tell you that you’re dreaming. I diiiid just visit my Mom, and they did end with a song very close to me, “Dream Operator” from True Stories. Strange. 
Also these things.

So there’s my little Simpsons wrap-up. I’ll keep my eye out for more silly diaper things. I’ll just try and forget about this awkward little encounter with diapers on my favorite family. I’ll leave you now to sleep, perchance, to dream, hugs and cuddles, just close your eyes little ones, drift off to sleep… ❤

When you were little 
You dreamed you were big 
You must have been something 
A real tiny kid 

 You wish you were me 
I wish I was you 
Now don’t you wake up 
The dream will come true

where, when and with whom

Hey there! I’ve been a busy young lady lately! Lots of adventure, self-realization, exciting propositions and new ideas! Life is good, I’ve been burning my little candle at both ends, but I finally have a morning to myself. I’m in my crinkles and footy, feeling very cute and cuddly, so make sure to imagine me that way while you read these words… maybe this pic will help 😛

OOooooOOooooo Marshmallows! For those completely in the dark as to why I am suddenly modeling with something fluffy and white other than diapers… “the Marshmallow trick” is a little thing some extra-kinky diapered folks have been known to experiment with. It’s no more complicated than putting some marshmallows in your bottom, crinkling up and letting your body get all confused and having a little messy accident shortly after. There’s a little more to it than that, I’ll be laying down a concise, often-too-graphic explanation (much as I did with anal orgasms in this post) of the whole experience, and hopefully will clear up some misconceptions. When the diapered community looks back on the spring of 2012, I want them to think of marshmallows in their butts.

In the picture I’m wearing a little girl pull-up, the easy-ups by pampers, its really cute and fits me 🙂 I have lots of new diapers to show you, expect a review of Abena S4’s, Tena Classic Briefs, Huggies Size 6 Overnights, Attends Medium (CRINKLES!!!) and even some funky diapers i’ve never seen before. This is an exciting time for me, I have focus, diapers, an exciting trip next month and I feel really beautiful right now ❤ This trip is going to be to CapCon, I’ll be doing a presentation there, won’t you join us? It’s in Chicago, it looks like a great event with some really wonderful people coming. I’ll be sharing stories and I’m planning a really special experience, I hope to see many friends and new friendly faces ❤

Another exciting thing… I’m going to be doing a webchat tomorrow night (Friday the 23rd)! Join me here (i’ll post a TinyChat link) at 10pm EST for the free webchat – this one is going to be a little different, I’ll be a little less “little”, we’ll be discussing diapers, wetting, all that good stuff, but with a little more interaction. I’ll be taking questions throughout the hour about all aspects of gender/diapers/life, I’m hoping to learn and share with the always interesting folks in the room. At 11pm I’ll be switching over to Ifriends, taking off my diapers and getting into a little costume kinda like this one…

…and being a naughty girl. Ifriends is not free but it’s much more naked, I have my toys and little outfits and everything, I plan on getting all sexy, showing off my big-girl side. I’m really looking forward to trying this, I love being on Cam and so rarely find the time, tomorrow night will be lots of fun ❤ 
Check out the site tomorrow night, Mommys and Daddys bring your littles to the 10 or call the crinkle-sitter for the 11, it gets a little blue… More stuff sooooon! Hope all is well and StayDiapered!~

Monster Truck Riley

Tuesday! Tuesday! Tuesday!

Inside the Kimberly-Clarke Arena in Hollywood a unprecidented event will take place… the long awaited return of the one and only Riley “CrinkleSaurous” Kilo!!! This cuddle monster has a number of fierce animals to contend with, a wild pack of puppies, a big red crustacean (aka Citizen Snips) and against the advisory of the stuffy regulatory society, a live Cincy Bear! They’ll hear the crinkles 3 towns over! Kilo’s cuddlelust is reaching dangerously levels, no snug will go in snuggled, no bottom will go unpadded!!!

So Internet, zip up those sleepers and get those pacifiers a boilin’ because this Tuesday night, March 13th, Riley is back from her NorCal adventures and will be LIVE ON CAM!!!

::explosion sounds::

Prepare for a shotgun blast of conversation about crinkly travel, The Chicago Ageplay Convention, old friends and new outfits 🙂 If you’re regressed below 2 years old you get in free!!!!

TinyChat, tomorrow @ 10pm EST!!! RileyKilo’s Cuddle Hour! BE THERE!!!

—end of radio ad—-

***the show is free, life is good, look for the tinychat link tomorrow evening @10EST – also, install Skype in case I get B&… More stuff soon, can’t wait to get back home! Hugs Internet!


My hands are shaking as I write this.

I’m in my hometown, walking down the street after visiting a old girlfriend and her kid. I’m smiling, listening to Cake when I see him, the person who broke my wrists in middle school, the dream crusher, the Bane to my Batman. He’s a server at a little restaurant near my old apartment above the fortune cookie factory. I haven’t seen him or heard from him since I started high school, we ended up in different schools, he remained a spectre in my life. He’s not a monster, he’s just a guy who works at a bar. He’s shorter than I remember him, granted I have grown about 7 inches since I last saw him.

His teeth are bad, that makes me feel good, im being honest, awful but honest. I worry that he skated through life, that the hurt he caused me had no effect on him, that he wrought but not reaped what sowed. He’s smilin, interacting with customers, I can’t believe I’m in here, sipping my Americano, awkward would not begin to describe this moment, he’s avoiding eye contact, we jut had a littler interaction while I was mid-sentence, he’s just doing the Sacramento thing, living and working, I’m a jet-setting artist and he’s still in the hometown.

And now I catch myself. I love him. I love him because he is a human being, he came from a tough family just as I, and sometimes we do things that we regret, sometimes we change. I believe that there are no bad eggs, that there is no inherent evil, we all can choose or be trained to be good or bad, to feel empathy or apathy, essentially, I have empathy for apathy… forgive those who aren’t sorry. Seeing him in the flesh alleviated some of my past fears, seeing that he doesn’t actually have horns makes me feel better. His shift is over, I managed to catch the very end of it, good timing?

I talked to one of his co-workers, very discretely I asked if he was a nice, apparently he had just started working there but is a “friendly & positive person”. I feel like a parole officer, but instead I’m just a creepy writer, a ghost in the flesh.

I step outside, thinking to finish the post later, when I see him sitting outside having a post-shift sandwich. I sit down and ask if I could harass him for a second, the first thing he says is “I could say it ten times, but I’m sorry for everything that happened” I smile, said we were kids, he said there was nothing malicious, I said our school was a jungle, he apologizes again, I light his cigarette. He’s in a rush to get somewhere, I give him a hug, I can feel feel the tension in his shoulders, likely the first time he’s met a transgirl, let alone hugged one. We walked out separate way, about a half-block away, he turns and says “Sorry!”

It was good to run into him, again, fear alleviated, old hostilities melt away, people change, we grow up and move on. Wow though. Just wow.

More stuff soon.


Hey there! I’m posting a little video from a coffee shop right outside the Museum of Modern Art here in San Francisco! I’m listening to this, excited to be coming back to the place I love so much 🙂

Visit this link to get to the video.

Couple funny little things, I have a new video for you, just a hello and a little crinkly talk, I’ll be posting something else during my adventure, this IPad really makes the mobile blogging a breeze. I fit right in, the Games Developer Conference is going on at the Metreon, which is right across from the SfMoMa. It’s free admission day here which makes it even cooler, love the energy, the Half-Life 3 T-Shirts, the cool looking people! I miss the Bay!

The second thing is life/ego affirming too, I had to share it 🙂 I went to a little coffee shop on Market this morning, had a green tea & uploaded this video. Before I left I went to use the restroom even though I had my crinkles on I was kinda messy and had honey on my hands… Local honey is good for allergies and I’ve been hurting with all this travel. I was waiting for a while to use the cafe’s gender-neutral bathroom, the only one in the place, and this young woman who moments ago was cutting bagels for guests, came up and said, “Haven’t I seen you on TV recently?” I responded with a friendly “yeah, on TLC maybe?”, she said she had just watched the episode on her DVR, and made sure to let me know “that’s Awesome!” We talked for a second about NY and LA, she was really sweet, I could tell she was pretty cool with what she saw on the show. It made me smile, it was nice to get accepted like that, a reminder of the good people out there. Little side note, kinda makes me laugh, I was waiting for the restroom, she asked if I had knocked, there was someone in there and I ended up waiting for about 5-10 minutes. She came back and kinda knocked on the door for me at one point… I guess she figured that I was unfamiliar with using restrooms 😛 I kinda felt a bit awkward, it’s kinda funky when strangers may know that you’re crinkly. Luckily, I’ve only had good interactions ❤ Hugs everyone! I'm awfully smiley in this post, this trip is going really well. It's great to see my friends, my family and my old stomping grounds, helps shape new ideas and perspectives. I can't think of anything else to say but stay diapered & thanks for reading! :::about 5 hours later::: Hey again! What a wonderful time I had at the MoMa, I saw many familiar paintings as well as a couple pretty amazing new pieces. The exhibit of Rineke Dijkstra was pretty eye opening, and I finally saw a piece by an abstract favorite of mine, Matthew Barney, it was really amazing to see his work in real life. I did miss out on a couple paintings that really touched me, they must have moved on, seeing the Gerhart Richter exhibit years ago really changed my lifeespecially seeing the art in the flesh… I always wonder why folks take pictures of the exhibits with their phones, you have to be in the same room with the original to truly appreciate it. I was awestruck by it all, the people are often more fascinating than the art, I felt wonderful in the presence of such creativity and appreciation, it’s nice to see a packed museum in these days of angry birds and American Idols 😛

Aaaand the GDC is pretty awesome, I kinda snuck in for a bit, saw some booths and played TekkenXStreetfighter, it was cool but I got my cute little butt kicked, I’m not so great at using the arcade sticks. I like video games though rarely get time to play them. I just like seeing new graphics and new ideas, it’s cool that everyone around me at this moment is talking about map-packs and pixels and all that cool stuff. There’s a bunch of people at a table wearing blizzard sweatshirts, I have no doubt that they aren’t just fans. That’s pretty exciting, I’m feeling very *future* right now, being around these architects of enjoyment.

Another things I’d like to point out before I try and chat up some sexy geeks… I mentioned getting recognized at that coffee shop not to brag about my fancy new fame, but I wanted to express that being AB/DL isn’t the barrier that we imagine it to be. People can and will love you, no matter who you are. There’s some pretty open-minded folks out there, though often less vocal than the dissenters. Learn to love yourself and and others will follow, love your flaws and favorites, love what is or isn’t accepted by the “mainstream”. You WILL find people who appreciate you, for your courage and commitment to your cause. When I’m passionate about something I alliterate, hope you don’t mind 😛 I want to impart on you that AB/DL, being trans, or whatever your *thing* is, it’s ok, I love you, people can and will love you, don’t ever feel afraid to express yourself.

I’m following some folks upstairs to try and get into this party, hugs and love!!! More stuff soon!

Quivers Revisited

I woke up this morning with a strong desire to have something in me. My mind wandered to a couple places, first to a couple internet dating sites to fantasize about what it would be like to have a daddy… then to some kinky sites to fantasize about what daddy would do to me… then some stuff about bondage & enemas… then my mind came back to this video. I really like it, and have recently written a Behind-the-Scenes recollection of the kinky, hands-free cumming from my “Quivers” video.
Bit of a sample…
 I love having a plug in and dry humping something, but that still entails friction, I wanted my free-standing unit to burst forth with cum all by anal stimulation. After about 2 hours, it did, and I was a properly fucked quivering mass of girl jelly. Here’s how I did it…”

Visit StayKinky.com for the full post!

Watch the video, read my words, and if you’re in Los Angeles (or in SF from the 5th-10th of this month) and you’re not a scumbag, send me a letter on my newly updated and working contact form! I also have a P.O. box now, so if you’ve been having trouble with PayPal or Amazon or want to communicate by sending physical letters, let me know ❤ I'm clearing out much of my old email in an attempt to make things manageable, many of the letters I send out are returned by daemons which makes talking to readers seem a bit futile.

Thoughts on hormones, Abenas, coloring books and more smut coming soon! Visit the link, enjoy the video, you might learn something new and fun!