I’m back in my old apartment in Buffalo, in my sleeper and ATN, reflecting on the weekend and the time since I was last here. I’m leaving tomorrow for NYC, then back to my apartment in LA, home. I’m feeling a bit of the weight of the world, I’ve come a long way since I first landed in NY, still have a long way to go.
CapCon was amazing this weekend, the people, the organization, the energy and love all were unique and wonderful. My presentation worked on some levels, faultered on others. I need to focus on educating myself, on taking classes as opposed to teaching them. My headstrongness is a virtue, but without balance it can lead to missteps. This was my first time doing performance art/guided meditation/puppetry in front of a live audience, let alone an audience of littles, it was daunting, I was terribly nervous & it showed.
I feel honored to have been invited. I foresee more cons in my future, until I get more comfortable with “littles” group dynamics I’m going to be exploring & experiencing instead of taking a more active participating role. These things are still a new frontier for myself & the community, still much to be learned,
I’m finishing this post from a hospital waiting room in Buffalo, about to visit a friend in recovery, things are (?) for this young lady. I’m tired, wishing my tough exterior, a result of compounded negativity, could dissolve away and show the world the sweet little girl inside… It’s not an easy transition, it’s something that’s going to come with love, safety, humility & learning experiences. This is a bit of a low for me, this site isn’t really blossoming right now, my PayPal/YouTube have both been banned recently, it was expected. Give me a week and I’ll be back home, back to crinkly blogging and shooting/editing video, I’ll be sharing more smiles soon, I’ve had enough frowns.
Look forward to a thoughtful video soon, then more love, love, love.
Come out to Dave & Busters in Times Square Sunday night, email me for details!