Diapers on the red carpet

I feel like I should say this, this post is going to evoke mixed emotions and you may want to opt-out if you’re feeling sensitive. As a person who loves diapers it can be tough seeing yourself in the eyes of the mainstream, the suggestive and subliminal aspects of TV commercials can bugger a negative message into your emotional state.
This is a disclaimer, viewer discretion advised. 
Before I start getting into it, watch this video…
What we see here is 3 football players trying on the new Depends. There’s a few pretty glaring things here that kinda make my tummy turn over, things that were done to maintain the “dignity” of the actors. There’s still a strong undertone of shame in this one, moreso than the female version of the ad. I’d like to partake in the internet hobby of dissecting advertisements for things we like and talk about this video a bit.

Honestly, this commercial blew my mind when I first saw it. A friend told me to check it out, I couldn’t imagine if I was in a waiting room (the rare time I watch TV) and this popped up, it’s a pretty bold advertisement. Depends is now promoting a new line of boy/girl discreet undies under the banner of “The Great American Try-on”, they’re trying to get everyone in America to try on a pair of diapers, much as I’ve been doing since Oct. 06. It’s a great campaign, respect to the ad agency ::bites tongue:: who overcame the nearly impossible task of making adult diapers seem even slightly “hip”. I assumed diaper ads would stay in the dark ages, Tena has made a number of commercials promoting peeing your pants and staying protected if the need arises. Those commercials are pretty progressive, cool, but not pro-football player or Hollywood red carpet cool. Diaper ads still often feature octogenarians riding bikes and are focused towards seniors, they’re often embarrassing for everyone involved, likethis SNL commercial.  These new commercials are flashy, modern, but do little to actually make folks feel better about wearing diapers.

“I know you don’t need these, but would you try them on, for charity?”
“no way, naw, for charity? Ok!!!”

What does it take to get a football star into diapers? Curing cancer is the carrot on the stick here (the selfish bastards) and doing silly stuff for charity is merely a part of being a celebrity, it’s cool, but they’re not showing so much humility.  I would love to see the board room where they fandangled how to get jocks and beauty queens into pampers, writing agents saying “what is it going to take to get your client into a Depend?”. I feel that highlighting the charity aspects is a bit of a diss to it’s consumers and shows the celebrities as insecure people who want to make damn sure that we know they don’t wear diapers. Here’s another longer video, where the players get a chance to show their eloquence, it is awkward.

Here’s the second commercial, starring a soap actress and her husband, Harry “Perseus” Hamlin

There’s that feeling of watching something that you don’t quiet understand, like the first time you step into a dungeon party or see someone eat an entire canned ham at a bus stop, that feeling of wonder/horror. I thought “I am I really seeing this? Did Harry Hamlin just feel up his diapered wife? Does that mic really have a Depends flag on it? Did I eat pizza before bed and am just dreaming all this madness?”

There’s one shot in particular, after she talks about the cottony-comfort, the camera cuts to her face and she give this little devilish expression, “and they’re so soft ::wink::” like its a little secret between us girls. I think using a soap actress was a good idea, as I assume older people know who she is without the use of wikipedia. Its silly but not so shameful, though I do have issues with the misanthropy of her being a “champion for women’s confidence”, who seriously calls themselves that? I dig that Dress for Success provides threads for the less fortunate to employ themselves (kinda like boosters) but the messag here is so-called strength comes from aesthetics, how much of this persons confidence comes from youthening facial injection? Confidence comes from within, from self-worth, not these standardized concepts of beauty, they are fleeting.  Ads shame the viewer by presenting a alternative reality that will always exceed our own, we’re intended to look at our own pathetic lives and think the product is the key to ending our dispair. This all happens subliminally a TV heavy diet can ruin ones confidence because of these types of messages, making you emotionally dependent on products, scary. If I were in her shiny shoes, my confidence would come from sweaty Harry Hamlin sex, I totally have a daddy thing for him…. and Greg Kinnear…

Honestly, thats what got me about these commercials. I’ve always had issues with diapers when i’m wearing my evening clothes, this would be a good solution if A.) I had a vagina and B.) if depends weren’t the McDonalds of diapers, literally the worst thing possible for your bathroom habits, but sometimes its the only thing around. I personally think the Tranquility Slimlines are better for heavy wetters like me during the evening, these products are made for laugh-peeing, stepping out of car peeing, little bits of bladder leakage not big wettings like this little girl makes. Its just another bid by K-C to sell their awful brand to unwitting customers, its a step in the right direction for acceptance, but still has its flaws. Here’s another one that’s a little less friendly but the dress falling over the diaper is a fapworthy frame if you’re low on pictures of girls in diapers. I honestly think this commercial exponentially increases my chances of finding a partner, I’ll say “look, diapergirls can be elegant too!”

I’m not going to teach the world to love diapers, nor is any other blog or TV commercial. If you like diapers, you like diapers, simple as that, I imagine a future where AB/DL gets to the point of relevance that there’s two kinds of people, those who wear due to lack of continence and those who identify as diapergirls/diaperboys/diapered people, allowing a great deal of overlap and migration between the two. It makes me smile when I look into the mirror and think “I’m a diapergirl!” I’m just a girl who needs her diapers, i’m not incontinent, lazy or afflicted, diapers are a entirely positive thing in my life. I just need diapers because that’s who I am, it improves my quality of life and I have every right to do it, hooray!

It makes me very happy to share these words with you, so happy that i pee’d a little writing that last paragraph. I hope this post has opened your eyes to the effects of advertising on ones emotional state, the quick cuts and the gloss of it all will trick your brain, be careful, know that it’s all lies told by people who believe them. Watching these commercials, you’d think there were only boys and girls, and that boys are tough and don’t like color and girls need to look pretty in a dress to feel confident, that’s the mainstream for ya. Adbusters is a fringe group that does interesting work in the truth in advertising field, I implore you to check them out. Cuddly thoughts of crinkles in the mainstream, think how unique you are for smirking at this commercial, in everyone reading this is the knowledge that this is totally OK, some just need to unlock it. Myself and many other crinkly people are in your corner ❤

A few final thoughts.
1.) I think Anne Hathaway, Greg Kinnear and Mo from Guts should all do this commercial.
 2.) Visit Depends.com and order a free sample if you’re curious, which I know you are.
3.) I masturbated to the video of the football guys. Not sure why.

Ok, one more… Love you all, thanks for reading, more stuff soon, thoughts on Goodnites, lasers & my masturbation tactics over the last 15 years. I ordered a sample and will be talking about these more soon. Big hugs and let’s all look forward to saying “I wore diapers before they were cool” ❤

6 thoughts on “Diapers on the red carpet

  1. I agree with you about the adverts they are a bit tacky but I think in fairness to Depends their intentions were good any attempt to break down the stigma of been incontinent is a step in the right direction cause I know for sure that incontinence is not confined to old aged people cycling bicycles and for some having to wear diapers 24/7 for real is not fun I hope your keeping well and that the laser treatment is working for you I think your brilliant to be so honest about your life lots of hugs to you.

  2. I agree with David. And although it isn't all about appeal some people feel better knowing that people can't tell they are wearing diapers. It's that comfort of knowing they can't be caught that boosts their confidence. Should they have to worry about how they look and should they be singled out for wearing diapers? Absolutely not. But because for now people are, until that day comes being able to hide the diapers helps raise the confidence of people. I hope this makes sense.

  3. Hey there Riley may I say how sexy you look in that little photo above are you still taking hormones and excuse my innorance but when your on hormone treatment is it the ammount you take that determines your final boob size or do they just grow in proportion to your body sorry if that's too personal but iam just curious- hugs to you.

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