under the covers

Hey there friends! Are you ready for some bullet points???
  • Here’s the first 4 pictures in my tinkerbell set, there’s lot more (including a video review) coming soon! 
  • I’m going to a Cancer benefit tonight! It’s a bachelorette auction I found after checking a cancer boarde on Reddit while mourning my friend. It’ll be nice to use my cute butt to raise some money, my butt sometimes feels like it’s not doing enough. Nobody knows that i’m trans there, I mentioned that it was OK that girls bid on me and the organizer was very cool, I don’t think many cancer benefits end in lynchings, honestly my biggest fear is someone recognizing me from the show. I’m fine though, I’m volunteering my time for a good cause, if i’m “found out” than I’ll hope to be known as a positive representation of trans people.
  • I haven’t been in the chat room much these days, but look for more info on that soon!
Hugs everyone!!! More crinkles and cuddles soon!!!!

I sure love my tinkerbell diapers

strap in

Heyyyyy!!! I have a new video! It’s of the Space Shuttle Endeavor’s last flight before it settles down here in LA. It’s a bit of a noisy video so be careful, I hope you enjoy it! Tinkerbell pics tomorrow~ Huggggs!!

Pretty cool!!! It was so amazing when it flew right over us ::twice::! That thing is pretty big, and Griffith is just about the highest point in LA. It was brutal hot but totally worth it! 

Watch in 1080p!!!

pic unrelated

Hey there friends! I was at the beach yesterday, the beauty of Santa Monica, the madness of Venice, the strong waves of an overcast day in LA. I got a sunburn, totally knocked for a loop by a wave, a veggie hot dog on the stick (actually pretty good) and most importantly, got to spend some time with my friend. I even wore a bikini top for the first time! I felt pretty cute all day, especially playing in the water, it was really freeing. I deserve a pat on the back for that bravery, but a pat on the back would hurt pretty bad right now 😦
This picture is unrelated, but I waned to share it with you as a vision of things to come. I’ve been holding onto soe pics to share and I’ll start trickling those out (down?) soon. Tomorrow is LAX and then back home, today is more fun (but less sun) – I needed to get my head straight and looking forward, the weathers cooling down a bit soon hopefully which means more crinkles for me, which means more smiles and pics and everything!
Thanks again for reading, and featured in this pic is little submissive Riley, a real posey straightjacket, institutional plastic pants over tights over a thick attends over a full bottom after an enema. 
More stuff soon! StayDiapered friends!!


My dad collects blackbox recordings
Just to hear what people say
When they realize whats comin’
About a second or so away
It starts with oh shit and ends with i’m sorry
Aand it plays in his head all the time
And oh its so crazy the way we
sabotage our very own piece of mind
This has been quiet the month. Those aren’t exactly the lyrics, its just what I hear when I listen to this song. Yesterday a friend and I climbed to the top of Los Angeles to watch the last flight of the Endeavor. 3 weeks ago I was on a redline train that killed a man, I saw his body under the tracks. I saw the sunset over Santa Monica, I watched the sky and the ocean and the sun all become a beautiful vision of orange. I watched Seans facebook fill up with love and goodbyes, a modern social blackbox, read our last conversations, smiled at the last shared likes with a dear friend.
I’m on the beach again, staying in a hardwood floor hotel in SantaMonica, with a friend who shares my love of photography, love of nature, love of our mutual friend. We’re going to spend the day on the beach, a first for me since i’ve started physically and mentally identifying as a girl. I’m honestly a kinda nervous, i’m going to show off my little beach body to all the beautiful californians, I hope I fit in 🙂 we’re starting at Venice and ending the night with the Santa Monica pier, I think now more than ever its important to see the worlds unabashed beauty, remind myself why I’ve made it this far and why I must move forward to bigger and better things. I sometimes feel like i’m not doing enough in this world, like i’m floundering, I feel the sheer intensity and reality of this month has kicked me in the ass a bit. I’ll be re-starting my transition blog (and in many ways my transition) and sharing this crazy life of mine more than ever.
I have a positive message and willing recipients, why am I not pouring myself onto the internet like hot pancake batter? I still don’t know the answers to that, but they’re the usual ones – stress, depression, lack of confidence. I ooze confidence but I’m cautious about putting out media sometimes, I can be my toughest critic. I want to make something wonderful. but in the 6 years i’ve done this blog i’ve yet to maintain a consistent stream of thought. Much like my thoughts (and life and work over the years) its been a bit scattered, i’ve been teaching myself to write and edit while learning to cry and love, i feel clearer now than ever before. I really think i can do right for the readers (you!), the community and my aspirations, it just takes time and focus, both of which I have.
My friend (who you may remember from My Strange Addiction, the one with the nosering) and I are going to finish our sunshine and commiseration and head back to hollywood, then a fun mindless day at universal then another long ride to LAX, then home. Then video and art and new posts and tinkerbells and bedmats and cloth diapers and cuddles! I promise i’ll be a good girl! You guise really keep me going, thank you for everything over the years and look forward to much, much more from this smiling little girl!


sometimes i like to dress up pretty and wear frilly plastic pants
sometimes i like to wear tights, not because they hide or because they fit with an outfit, just because they feel good to wear
sometimes i need to turn off the feelings inside and enjoy the feeling of my clothes, of my little soft body, of my padded bottom, of the growing wetness of my attends between my legs
sometimes it just feels right and it doesn’t matter why

sometimes it really does cheer me up to hear how cute i look in my diapers
sometimes i squeeze my stuffy and everything feels right
sometimes i feel i’m the loneliest girl in the world
sometimes i even take pictures of all these things….


 ::breathes deeply::
 I’m going to do this whole post in one long breath. When I exhale, this site will resume normal blog operation, learning and growing and such. 
 ::breathes out::
 ::breathes in::
 A friend of mine passed away and I don’t really know how to feel. He was a good friend but we lost touch to a certain extent over some footage, there was unfinished business. Sean was an atheist, a shitkicker, a punk rocker. He worked past his affliction to raise money for others. He shaved his head and became free. He turned me on to Marc Bolan, he was a child of the revolution. He is still teaching me to be a friend. I would give anything to turn back the clock and give Sean this footage, but they don’t give time machines to people like me. With any death, there will be regrets amoungst those close. I want to share some video of my friend, here it is, let me take a breath because we may be running out…
 I miss him more than anyone can know. More blogs soon.