New Shoes

I’ve got myself new pair of shoes! Fancy girl, Big 5 is the best place for shoes. Look how terrible my old shoes are!

Be distracted by my shoes, they are all I really have to post. I left my modem out of town, will *hopefully* have it back tomorrow. I have a new video and lots of crinkly pics but those will have to wait 😦 This blog is a huge tease, i’m sorry!

I alsoooo am sorry for not getting vack to the wealth of emails i’ve received, both inquiries about donations and otherwise, I have them and will be replying with the attention they deserve. If you feel snubbed by me, there is a higher likelihood there was a mistake (accidentally deleted/never received or had the wrong email address) than I actually don’t like you or something. Most likely, I haven’t had the time/mental power to respond.

Thanks for reading, shoe pic then a bunch of stuffs soon, hugs guise!!! Safety and Love to those in NY and all over the East, bear and I send out love ❤

In Bloom

In my 26 years on this planet I feel I’ve lived multiple lives, nothing makes this more apparent than visiting my hometown. I’m not talking about boys life and girls life, but less specific morays and actions. My hometown is rugged, the game is thick to say the least, friends,family and art amidst the guns, gangs and dope. This is a town where I’ve been many things to many people, and those lives still resonate on the streets of Sacramento, if only as echoes.

I spent much of one night searching for a particular friend, a streetkid, to connect about the last days of a passed away friend. Picking up the pieces I guess, I told myself that this wouldn’t be as reflective of a trip as my last visit to Sacramento. I didn’t encounter any old adversaries, I didn’t slowly, menacingly drive in front of the Coffee shop that I was unfairly fired from, I didn’t visit my dads neighborhood and stand at the front door, only to leave without knocking. Instead, I reconnected with old bff’s and gff’s, petted various dogs and danced, danced, danced.

I saw my doctor at Planet Parenthood, i’ll hear back if anything is abnormal with my levels, i’ll be sure to keep you posted. I even managed to get a 4th opinion on my breathing issues, and that’s happily largely resolved. It was exciting to visit the Dr, if you’ve been following the site for a while now you’d know my negative experience with medical professionals. I have a pretty strong desire to visit this particular office as I know they will be kind to me. That’s all pretty resolved and I have this serene sense of knowing what i’m doing. I’m not sure how accurate that is, but at least I can see down the road a bit and it all looks pretty good. And as an added bonus to being healthy and hormone’d, I keep getting emails saying i’m the cutest little diaper girl, so that helps 🙂

The first 3 1/2 years of my transition were living as a girl with no hormones,
The most recent 3 1/2 have been low/inconsistent dosage
This next years will be full-on and preparing for SRS!
Then after that, happy girl!

I have the understanding, confidence and community to make it possible, I have no allusions otherwise. How exciting! I’m optimistic, and thanks for coming along for the ride. More awesome pictures and video soon! I’ll leave you one of many photos of my triple thick cloth diapered bottom in an American Apparel stocking.

Keep reading and i’ll keep crinkling 🙂

Quick one while she’s away

Hello friends! Busy Buzzy Baby Girl here to say hello, well wishes & hugs! I’ve written quiet a bit about the last few days before and the next few days ahead, but it’s all quiet scrambled and not ready yet. I’m in my hometown after the baby shower (baby baby, not adult baby), my iPad died and was brought back to life, i’m seeing my hormone doctor and getting back on track with those, all very exciting stuff. I’m going to be heading back to LA tonight so i’m going to have a crinkly camchat on the night of the 24th, 10pm EST on the Chat Tab on this site. It’ll be a costume party with Bear and I, fun and games and crinkles, you may just win something too! It’ll be fun!

 I’ll end with this picture of me bowling, trying to salvage my ego after whiffing the first ball, i’m not at home which means I can’t photoshop out the pins 😦 You’ll have to take the photo and my achievements “as is”, I may not get it right everytime, but at least i’m being honest. More stuff soon, my inbox is filled with wonderful messages, please excuse me if I haven’t answered yet, there will be time today. Hugs and hugs and more soon!

PS: Didn’t get much time for emails today, hugs everyone, more stuff sooooon! Long late night traveling tonight!

Quivers Revisted

.:Yes, this is a repost, but some of you may have not read my thoughts on anal orgasms, which has been on my mind lately:.

This post is a behind-the-scenes how-to of this very NSFW video

Lets have a little talk about prostate stimulation shall we? I’ve induced many an orgasm on others using as little as my middle and index fingers together, gently rubbing the inside top part (the prostate) of a submissive’s little cookie. For me it takes something vibrating and big, I can’t really get the angle right so using a huge toy is the only real option.

Its pretty easy with a trusted partner, patience and relaxation are the key, gentle hands and intimacy really gets the sub cumming. Before I get into the specifics behind the Quivers video, feel free to check out this GoAskAlice link for a clear explanation to the methodology behind prostate stimulations.

The day I shot that video I was really feeling the “second puberty” some Tgirls get, it had been at least a week since I came, my sex drive had flipped from dormant and uninterested to flaming ambulance. I was playing with a chastity device (which is no fun without a keyholder) and started reading online about anal orgasms, something I was curious about but had never achieved. I was ridiculously turned on and wanted to share that with the world, so I got my camera, laid out a towel, peed, washed my mitts and set up lube (but mostly used saliva) and my 3 toys.

My co-stars are…
a tiny pink plastic dildo- “Pinky“
a big pink fleshy dildo – “Blinky“
and my BIG beige vibrating plug – “Clyde”

I told myself that I wasn’t going to let myself cum until i did it anally. Usually when I play back there, I get bored or tired or it starts to hurt and I just grab my very excited clit and  cum almost immediately. I love having a plug in and dry humping something, but that still entails friction, I wanted my free-standing unit to burst forth with cum all by anal stimulation. After about 2 hours, it did, and I was a properly fucked quivering mass of girl jelly. Here’s how I did it…

I started by relaxing, getting hard and fingering my pussy a little bit, it took 15mins at least to get ready, relaxed, played with my breasts and perineum, or taint, that which is neither balls nor ass. The room was warm but not too hot, a little bit of cold keeps me more aroused and alert. The right porn helps as it ads to arousal and draws focus away from the repetition of building up to a big toy, but can also lead to giving up and just cumming manually. After I could get 2 fingers in, I sucked on Pinky until it was slick, then penetrated myself, went in and out for a bit instead of immediately angling it up towards the prostate. The prostate is terribly sensitive, too much roughness can do all of the above A.) aches and soreness during and after B.) strong urge to urinate C.) serious pinchy awful temporary pain D.) a bad experience

So after teasing my ass for a bit, I start giving more directed rubbing on the taint in tandem with the toy. I occasionally try to fit Blinky in, as well as occasionally stroking my cock just to keep that ::i’m about to cum:: feeling going. It’s a delicate balance, earlier in the day I got close to cumming several times before doing this, I would wank a couple times during the week before as well, but never cum. Not an extended session, not enough to get “blue balls”, just enough to produce a ton of semen that is waiting to come out while keeping everything active. The times you do get too much blood down there and not enough oxygen from lack of satisfaction (blue balls) a little prostate or testicle massage and/or groin stretching (yoga not jerking) helps.
Side note: Enemas are a good idea, but be careful using one immediately before as store bought Saline (read: Salt) enemas really cause cramping and that Ring of Fire feeling. Pure water in an enema bag or even something like Olive Oil can be a good before the event as they make your hole rectum like a slip and slide… I think the best is eat lots of veggies the days before, keep healthy and have a big bowel movement right before the show. Enemas are very erotic to me, so that’s a plus.

After loosening up quiet a bit, I could get Blinky in, and I started to fuck myself with that. I felt like a little slut taking a big cock, which got me all Riley’d up, and made a couple foolish attempts to get the whole plug in immediately. Another reason why I often give up is I try to go too big, too fast, you really have to take it at a glacial pace, and work your way up. Manicured fingers are a good way to set your own size, I went from 1 to 2 fingers, then to Pinky, then to 3 fingers, then to Blinky, then to 4 fingers most of the way to the knuckles, and eventually fitting the big vibrating plug, not all the way, but just to the fattest part. Fitting a giant plug all the way in where your ass tightens around the base is not the best, as taking it out usually ruins me and there’s not enough motion with it in to get me to cum. I’m sure experimenting with different plugs (Aneros?) will open my mind more, among other things. Even the size queens need to take it slow, its very elasstic.

I was feeling very gaping after an hour or more of general in-and out and some slight exterior massage, I was terribly ready to cum, visibly shaking (hence, “Quivers”) and still feeling comfortable down there, slight pain from the hard fucking but I was still ready to go. If anything would have touched my cock, I would have cum immediately, it was time for the big finish. I got Clyde out and set him to a low roar, hard vibration can desensitize and irritate the area, prefer the slow, strong vibrations for anal stimulation. I start with the tip of the plug on the outside vibrating my taint and my testicles, I like putting the base of the plug near my ass and laying it down across my perineum to the base of my cock, and closing my legs causing the whole area to vibrate. Better to do this with a toy before insertion or have a mini-vibe to use as a companion once you start inserting. I put Blinky inside to get my prostate moving, then its time to stick vibrating Clyde in, pointing the tip of it at my prostate like an eraser on a little fleshy mistake, moving it slightly back and forth gently as not to irritate the tissue covering the prostate. Don’t worry, the ass can take a pounding, but one too strong of a push can end a session, be careful, know your body, don’t force a big O, it will come to you in time.

The combination of the slowly vibrating plug stretching the walls of my pussy and the tip hitting close or occasionally on the prostate (the angle is difficult, so much easier with a partner but who has time for that) had my cock starting to drip with clear precum, but tons of it. You’ll know when the orgasm comes, though it can be a very gradual process. When I felt too much pressure building up in the prostate, I’d switch from the plug to a dildo to feel that wonderful “I’m full of cock” feeling. You can’t look at it mechanically, it’ll stress you out and lead to over thinking and a lack of sexual concentration, its best to let go, slow down, stare at porn for a second, stroke slightly or play with your balls, let your ass get a moment to rest before you go and annihilate it some more. Like nipples, it only takes a few seconds for the pain to go away and the body starts begging for more. Exhaustion is not your friend here, as your brain will scream to just grab your cock and cum or give up. Bondage helps.

Basically, I just kept playing with my hole, got the plug most of the way in and massaged my prostate in the slight jerking motion seen in the video. I did this until I basically couldn’t live without something in me, you see me shaking in the video, I remember my body just craving to be filled up again, less hornyness and more of like a hunger. I kept fucking myself until I finally hit just the right spot, and I came… it felt amazing, a earthshattering orgasm, “milking” is a very good term for the physical feeling of it coming out. Every bit of energy has been fucked out of me, I could merely pant and quiver for quite some time afterwards, i didn’t feel much ass-hurt afterwards but every other part of my body was sore from my muscles contracting from pleasure and pushing out my cum. Depending on how much you’ve saved up and the intensity, you may shoot like i do in the video, but many prostate massages don’t really end in a clear orgasm, especially if chastity is used. Being milked by a partner feels more like a long, long orgasm, you’ll drip out all the cum inside you but over 30 mins/an hour, switching between extreme pleasure and slight uncomfortable feelings of acheyness or needing to void your bowels or bladder. The level of submission that this entails is the most erotic part about it, both denying orgasm but also seeing to the subs physical needs of ejaculation, the control, the sub begging to come, the whimpers and drippy cocks, both the word and act milking is objectifying, humiliating.

If you can’t tell, both giving or receiving anal orgasms is a huge turn-on for me. The feeling of a prostate orgasm has on multiple occasions made me step aside for half a second and reconsider getting SRS… it’s that good. Of course, SRS is the right thing for me for a number of reasons beyond blissful orgasms, but again, its fantastic, I want to sing it from the rooftops. Even if you’re not a sub, give it a try, it takes confidence and emotional security to let yourself get penetrated, doesn’t change your orientation, just feels good man. Thanks for reading and I hope this has enlightened a few folks on all the fun you can have with a prostate, some fingers and a couple cock-shaped friends!