Dr. Dreams

Disclaimer: Depression and Anti-Depression talk, mild language and adult themes from a little girl.

Hi there friends~ This is little Riley, snuggled up in a blanket getting ready for bed. The GOP debate in the background, feeling a bit sick about it, probably going to turn in off here soon.

Without getting too political, Donald Trump is an absolute clown, one of the worst entries into the WWE Hall of Fame. And Planned Parenthood has saved countless lives. So yeah, F this noise.

I went to the Dr. today. I’ve been plagued with bad dreams lately, as well as some of the depression/anxiety issues I’ve laid out in the last few less than smiley posts. I hadn’t been to see my GP lately, but today was really, really good. It’s difficult for me to reveal my issues face-to-face with someone but today I did. We made a plan, I got a perscription, and I’m going to start down a path I never thought I would. I’ll be taking a mild Anti-Depressant, and goddamn is it hard to talk about this stuff. It’s just to get over a hump my Dr. said. I don’t want to lose myself but I also want to get better, I didn’t imagine i’d be this desperate for a solution to my pain, but I am here and this is now.

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I wore my protection to the appointment and got a ride from a well-wisher, comfortable and safe in a harsh and scary moment. While I type this, the TV is off and the Bright Eyes link I just posted playing in my headphones. I’m going to curl up with my bear and think of kind words said to me, and other moments where I felt safe, warm, loved. Thanks for listening.

Sweet dreams.

14 thoughts on “Dr. Dreams

  1. *giant hugs* tried reading in the den but the debate stuff was horribly awfuland i should have just been uncomfortable where i was in my room. too nasty and angrymaking to tune out. *hugs and waves for your sadness and mire-stuck time*

    • Thanks, yeah, I don’t know why I torture myself with stuff like that. MST3k and bear hugs is much better bedtime fodder. Thanks for the kind words ~ sad times come and go, looking forward to better ones.

      • hi baby riley. My name is Evan and I’m also ABDL. I recently turned 18. I have been on antidepressants all my life to treat Bipolar Disorder that plauges my life. Especially the depression part of bipolar disorder. I am not a drunkard like you but I still have a billion issues. I use ABDL as a gateway out of my screwed up reality. Donald Trump is stupid btw. I disagree about the abortion part but that is not the topic this post seems to be about, so I wont talk more about politics. They are just depressing. I hope you are doing ok. I just found your blog and am enjoying it. – Teen Toddler Evan

  2. Congratulations. I wish I could summon your inner strength in myself. I find myself doling out positive advice and borrowed maxims, yet find it difficult to apply these to myself. Best wishes and hugs of support. As they say: it takes a village… I hope we are a helpful part of your’s.

  3. Do it, beeing brave : Most of antidepressants can cause anxiety crises for several days before to make a good effect. You must absolutely not give up at that time. But I trust you : you will do it. Moreover, I did it some time ago, then, why don’t you succeed 😉

  4. hi riley, just for saying D’ONT change beaceause you are realy the best ,every days cute and so nice . FULL THANKS… WE LOVE YOU kiss

  5. first of all little lady I agree with you TRUMP is an Ahole , second I hope you don’t believe anything from wwe , wwf or any other of the wrestling shows , they are all put up bullshit.
    I don’t believe Trump will ever be president ,
    I know it was befor your time , but we haven’t had a good president since JFK was murdered by some deranged asshole

  6. Thanks for sharing Riley. You sound just as frustrated as I was regarding the Repub debate. It was horrible and to think that anyone of them succeeded at becoming our next president – I would disown this country!!!
    I’ve been clinically depressed for more that 20 yrs and have been taking psychotropic meds for a long time. Glad you have a plan of action. Just wonderful to hear how you are doing and staying transparent.

  7. Hey Riley, I’m sorry you’re struggling but you’ve done something very brave and good in going for help and I hope it’s the start of things looking back up or you. I’ve never spoke to you before but from what I’ve seen I can tell you that you are a wonderful person that deserves to be happy and don’t worry about losing yourself, if there’s anything wrong with the medication just go back and switch your medication. It’s hard but it may take a few before you find one that works for you.

    People are a lot more understanding and accepting of people with brain flumps these days, there’s no shame in needing or asking for help, it’s preferable to suffering in silence.

    Stay adorable,
    Sending happy thoughts and hugs.

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