(another sorta sad post, I promise they won’t always be like this, check back in a month or so if you’re sick of the sad stuff)
Dreams are the toughest thing for me and I’m nearly at my wits end. I won’t go into detail, but my dreams last weeks and weeks, stuck in a cycle where I wake up and go to sleep again in my dreams multiple times. Sometimes I fear I’m losing my grip on reality. That’s awful but it’s the truth. Last night was probably the worst night I’ve had in recent memory, where I tried and tried to escape my dream but couldn’t.
So what can I do? I’ve done some research on Lucid Dreaming, something I’ve always avoided because I generally don’t want to be present in my dreams, but I learned some tactics to potentially wake myself up if I realize I’m in a dream. Having a reality check item on me is one, sort of like a Totem in that movie Inception. This goes hand and hand with the second helpful thing, which is wearing my diapers (nappy Totem!) to bed. I haven’t lately because I just haven’t been in the mood but I realize more and more that I NEED them. I wish I had someone that MADE me wear them, maybe a nightly little Tinychat where you can make sure I have my pampers on… Pushing past sad times and grumpy moods is going to be key in getting back to normal sleep and in the process a healthier and happier life. I’m extremely frustrated with my living conditions as well, where I live has become increasingly noisy and while I have a beautiful crib I sleep on a couch most every night. There’s a ton of things piled up that make my life miserable, but I’m going to do my best to resolve them. I just need to try again, diapers and earplugs, instead of getting wasted and passing out which has long been the only way to get a full nights sleep for me.
I sound like a wreck. I haven’t always been this way and won’t always be this way. I feel better everyday, I know the dreams can’t hurt me but I am a bit tired of waking up exhausted or panicking. Diapers and Earplugs. Let’s see how they work, I’ve tried before but like so many things I haven’t stayed consistent. Wish me sweet dreams, I want to wake up pouty because I’m soggy like the pictures below, not because of bad memories coming to life in dreams.
I’ll also add snuggling my bear to the list of things that help me dream and sleep better. I love my bear ❤
Song of the Day – “No Regrets” – Aesop Rock (amazing hip-hop story song about dreams)