Dream

I showed you one of my favorite videos, now for my favorite. Some emotional stuff ahead.

When I filmed this I was ostensibly homeless, house-sitting and sleeping on couches in SF. I was unfairly fired from my job (eventually won the Unemployment hearings, but life was rough for a while) and I was figuring out where to go and what to do as a young transgirl with dreams. Life was rough to me then, 2010, I was already an experienced sex worker and hustler in Sacramento. Things started to fall apart, I lost my beloved coffee shop job and a close friend died, issues with stalkers, vice, local thugs, basically too much heat in Sacramento so I set off to San Francisco. I had friends and contacts there as well as a stripping gig, though I didn’t have anything solid. SF is a good place to go if you’re living on the edge, but there’s also a culture around exploiting people like that, especially young, cute ones.

Life was continuing to harden me, adventure and drama was routine and exhausting. I dreamed to escape to a world of pastel and snuggles.

This is my dream.


I suppose life has never been that low, and I’m closer to my dream than I am to those old bus mall days. I took a bunch of cute pictures today, just to test out taking serious photos after a while. Made me feel optimistic about making new content for the site, making more videos for fun and for sale. Exciting stuff 🙂

Hope you like the video, it means a lot to me. ❤



5 thoughts on “Dream

  1. Sweetly done I’m so happy that you done so well. It’s been hard earned and you’ve deserved it. As always, and Infinity of hugs and joy. “Those who control their passions do so because their passions are weak enough to be controlled.”
    – William Blake

  2. I’d been to San Fransisco a few times. Not exactly a place I enjoy. It’s an extraordinarily busy place to experience. Sensory-wise, San Fransisco (and many other big cities) err a bit on the overwhelming side for me to take in. It’s quite hard for me to even think.

    I tend to like quiet, but not be in complete solitude. Small rural towns perhaps. I also really like Rothenburg Ob Der Tabour as, much like myself, it is a place seemingly frozen in time and is steep with feelings of familiarity. I dream to one day grow up there. About as unachievable (in this lifetime) a dream as they come. 😏

    • Nicely done, Riley…you look extra pretty with your hair done and wearing makeup, and the sweet ‘snuggle-vibe’ was pleasantly palpable. Not sure if you ever read these or respond, but thanks again for sharing (3yobbg on tumblr…garyellbb on WordPress)…

    • You are right about San Francisco but there are lotta beautiful Places around it in the Bay Area , If you ever come back again let me know because I’d like to show you around the Quiet and beautiful Cities .

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