The last few years

Long post ahead, I’d like to explain what’s been going on with me so we can move on to the fun stuff. Here’s what’s going on in my life, the good and the bad.

1.) I live in Pennsylvania! I have been living here for a little over 3 years. I live with a dear friend who is as kind and supportive of a partner as a little girl can have. I am not looking to date anyone or for a serious romantic relationship, moreso because I’m just not ready or looking for that sort of thing. I am open to new friends and playmates, but am taking everything very slowly. I need some time to work on myself before I bring others into this mess.

2.) I’m not currently medically transitioning (hormones etc.). Still living and loving as myself, she/her pronouns and dresses and everything. I plan to start again when it is the right time to start again. I know I’m being vague here, but it’s a personal issue that I’m sensitive about talking about for now, I haven’t found the words yet.

3.) I spent a good portion of these last few years working a normal job and being a depressed alcoholic. I kinda lost my motivation in life after a few people close to me passed away among other life events, though that’s a drastic oversimplification, depression is something that I always have and always will be challenged by. In the last 6 months I’ve pulled myself together into a functioning human being again, especially with the aid of not drinking anymore. My 6 month landmark was just yesterday actually.

4.) The bears are as cute and snuggly as ever. There’s also a new panda and ostrich and a couple stuffies added to the mix.

5.) After a long hiatus, I’ve gotten back into wearing diapers everyday. I didn’t ever stop wearing or purge my stuff, I just rarely was in the mood. I’ve been wearing to bed everynight, which is a start on the path to becoming 24/7 again. I’ve missed being a diaper girl, missed the constant comfort of my diapers.

6.) I’m clear with my cancer worries and have regular colon checks, and no, not the fun kind of “colon checks”.

7.) I have a fairly big piece of media coming out later this month. It’s been 13 years so far for this blog, I want to keep being a friendly internet diaper girl until my days are done. It’ll take some work to get the trust of a community back, as I have disappeared for a little while in the past.

8.) Sobriety is relative and don’t call myself “sober”, I just don’t mess around with alcohol anymore. I don’t look down on anyone for drinking and can be around alcohol just fine without imbibing, though I’ve always preferred the company of stoners to drinkers 🙂 There was no drastic emergency or diagnosis or born-again moment, it was just time for me to stop. I fully believe if I hadn’t quit when I did, I wouldn’t have made it to now. Glad to be alive and to know what I escaped as to not go back.

9.) Now that it’s been 6 months, I’m putting talk of my sordid past on the shelf for now. I don’t want to lose sight of my mistakes, but I’d rather not dwell on them. So many exciting things happening now, best to focus on the present and look towards the future.

10.) And finally, most importantly, I need to express how much the support of fthe community has helped me. We’ve been on a long road together (and meeting cool new people all the time!) and I’m eternally grateful for all the messages of support, encouragement and compassion. I couldn’t wish for a better group of people looking out for me. Thank you with all my heart ❤

So that’s what’s up! Thanks for reading, I’ll finish this post with my most recent photo, taken this morning, took a break to snuggle the bear while writing this post. You have before you a very healthy happy diaper girl 🙂 Hugs and love, more stuff tomorrow!