Hey there friends! Just wanted to give a little update on the details of my life, all summed up in one post! Here we go, Content Warning for Covid/politics/allllll that stuff.
–How Covid has effected me: Practically? Not much to be completely honest. As for work, I had a part time job that is probably never coming back and i’m not on unemployment or anything. Fortunately, I got my life together and in late December I started really focusing on my internet content and getting a storefront setup, so I’m doing what I can to make a living off of my camming/video sales etc. My trials and tribulations in life have led to a cockroach mentality, to set myself up to survive in any condition and have checks in place to keep me from landing in a truly desperate situation. At the very least that means keeping my mental health in check and a few dollars in my bank account, and that’s a double-affirmative. You needn’t worry about me ❤
The real bummer for me is my laser hair removal person is not longer operating. I was really happy to be getting that again, I have huge massive dysphoria around bodyhair, especially ones “five o’clock shadow”, and I was loving the effects of laser. Such is life, I will have to wait until an opportunity presents itself.
–How’s the Brain doing?: I’m doing alright, though I have good days and lazy days. Working from home so to speak is something I’m used to but as many are discovering, it never really ends. The balance of working home disintegrates and I’m working on rebuilding it, finding some sort of healthy balance even if its putting my phone down for the evening.
I am still 100% not drinking, over 400 days now (looked it up, not counting the days anymore). The biggest worry is for the people, my folks, partners, friends. Hope everyone reading this is dealing the best they can.
I have espoused this wisdom to everyone who is willing to hear it, but I was watching some France24 news and they had a guy on talking about mental health through all this. He said “Chill out, don’t be so hard on yourself” in so many words. Don’t feel bad if you’re not productive, if you don’t want to get out of bed, if you’re in a pissy mood, we’re all going through some unprecedented times so be gentle with yourself. At first it felt like a holiday, but quickly we realized that this is much more of a trial than a gift. People are acting more terrible than usual online and the cabin fever is manifesting itself as conspiracy theories and general us vs. them mindset. This “Economy vs. Health” debate is getting ugly and shows no signs of stopping.
I worry about my immune-compromised friends and family, I worry about my Asian friends worldwide, I worry about desperate people and echo chambers and online radicalization, there’s plenty to worry about. I’ve been doing well to ration out the worries, not let the things I can’t control control me. Just takes lots of moments of self-awareness, being present and talking myself off ledges/pulling myself out of rabbit holes. Sometimes you need to snap yourself out of a mindset, realize the thing your worrying about can’t be helped, and you ought to just fold laundry instead.
Unsolicited Mommy Riley advice:
1.) Lower your productivity bar, this is new and will take some time to adjust. Be gentle with yourself.
2.) Limit your news and social media. Especially the comments.
3.) Take a moment to be present, have a mindfulness check, find context for your worries and balance them best you can.
4.) Clean your living space and your body. Feels good ❤
So that’s the vague explanation of what’s going on with me. I still live in Nowhere, PA. I’m not interested in meeting anyone IRL for now, though in the future that may change. I’m mostly a little with a strong mommy side.
- Hormones: Not since 2015 or so
- Surgeries: None
- Name/Gender change: Yes
- Pronouns: She/Her
- Diapers: Always to bed, sometimes during the day
I know it’s weird to have this basic information out there but I’m getting a lot of new visitors so just wanted to clarify 🙂 Thanks for reading, there are lots of exciting things going on, new computer, new camera, new editing stuff, life is exciting for me, I just am trying my best to embrace it… do my best to make myself and others smile 🙂
Hugs, sending my love ❤ The bears and I are rooting for you ❤