March DiaperCheck Compilation!

Hey there friends! New cute little video with a few little videos that i’d posted to Patreon/Twitter!

Hope you like them! More snuggly #DiaperChecks and crinkly Springtime fun coming soon!

Diaper Layering Lab

Hey there friends! I haven’t posted this one yet somehow!!

It’s Part 2 of my Diaper Layering Feature, showing you how I diaper up and get that super thick look and feel that girls like me love!

Below are some lovely layering pics, this spring and summer is going to involve alot of cute dresses and thick diapers ❤

Happy thoughts!!! More stuff soooon!!!

Gonna Write You A Letter, Gonna Write You A Book

Hey there friends! I have a big long text for you today, I woke up with the intention of writing a friend a letter but it ballooned into a “Here’s the 3 big things Riley’s been dealing with lately” post.

All the CONTENT WARNINGS!!! Some ruff topics but life is good ❤

Gones:

Over the last 2 years, just since the start of the pandemic, I made friends with someone online. We grew closer and closer, talking everyday. Something happened on their end around December and a distance has been growing, and just this week things went from “we should talk less” to “goodbye, maybe for good”. It’s a mutual thing and none of it is my fault, there’s no bad drama, people just go their separate ways.

And that’s fine, I enter relationships with a NCA, Non-Commit-Agreement, that if one party needs to walk away, they can. Granted my relationships are usually poly/pan situations, and i’m usually not the primary relationship partner… I have been the 3rd wheel, the au-pair, the dirty little secret. I don’t want people to fear drama from me, I want relationships to be authentic and joyful, not obligations.

That mantra is written on my walls, those 100 feet tall barbed wire steel walls, the ones I keep up so people can’t penetrate my sensitive core. I’ve been doing well to install doors and windows in those walls and I have had a few people penetrate them lately. It’s been good, there’s an old ABDL friend and total cutie who I’ve reconnected with after a decade and more changed between us, a friend from Belgium who’s been so wonderfully supportive of my creativity, and just generally being a *present* person for friends and associates. I’m still slow to respond and a little under-confident, but i’m taking things at my own pace.

So back to my friend… I cried last night while making dinner, a woman quietly crying while making hamburgers is as American as you can get. I have cried twice in the last 2 days, once to a Silver Jews song, and once just because I was sad and cooking. Heartache is that moment when you start to text a friend and you realize they’re not there anymore, that feeling cuts like a knife. I cried and then felt better, same as if the pan burned me. I’m not a cryer, movies and books make me cry but that’s cheap, it’s hard to get me to cry about real things. Hormones help enable those kinds of emotion instead of the “mildly aroused contempt” baseline of a transgirl forced to be cis for too long.

I’m glad to cry, glad something was important enough to make me cry, glad I cared enough to let down my walls. Crying is good, Riley needs a big cry now and then, like letting off the pain valve.

My friend and I had a good run, I’m just being a little dramatic and need to stop adding addendums to this post! I still think they’re awesome and I think they think the same of me and I always keep things open-ended, who knows what the future holds. They helped me a lot especially when my friend was in the hospital here, they talked me down from some pretty high ledges, helped me be a good girl. We still are amicable and I’m not an emotional wreck or anything, it’s just a new kind of swirl for this little girl, honestly surprised I caught feelings like that. Maybe I am capable of that things you humans call “Wuv” ❤

Cons:

Convention season is starting and the weathers warming up, people are socializing again so I wanted to get this ramble out of the way:

I worry about my safety at an event like Capcon. There are people in this community that would wish me ill, some of it my fault, most of it not. I have people angry about missed letters, internet drama, transphobia, fame, you put yourself online as long as I have and you get some creeps and stalkers, no need to reiterate those stories. Someone put acid in my drink one time, it took me a long time to recover, years. Never the same after something like that happens, especially because I didn’t want to take it (hence why they dosed me). I had severe trust issues, that multiplied them.

Before I go on, rest assured that one can goto Cons without drinking or partying etc, but its common and I’m sure I’d find myself in those situations.

I used to manage my anxieties with substance abuse. Conventions are filled with people doing the same, or “just having a good time” and “partying” as the non-addicts would call it. Honestly, I just really liked alcohol and how it made me feel, it wasn’t all depression and symptomatic, people get addicted both for mental/social reasons but also because intoxicants feel really good sometimes, especially the really illegal ones. I haven’t forgotten that part, hence why I need, must, avoid situations where people are getting messed up.

Everything happens at Cons, the entire Erowid catalog is found in the rooms, I’ve personally been party to plenty of illicit activity. When people party the drugs come out and really there’s nothing wrong with that IMO if it’s safe and sane. Drugs help you experience different perspectives in this world, it’s hard to take mushrooms and be a fascist, they are mind-openers (for some) and certain substances should be accessible and regulated, if only for the mental health benefits. I’m not against people who chose to imbibe and I even have some things I don’t rule out for myself, though I haven’t taken anything illicit in a loooong time. I just know what I have to avoid, and also a little bit of who & where.

WITH ALL THAT SAID, I shant be going to a wild con situation. It’s been 153 Days since Nicotine and 1075 Days since drinking, I am solid in my choices and am not avoiding things out of fear of my health, its more complicated than that. I’m not sitting here going “Damn, I wish I could go but I’m too afraid of drinking”, but I’m self aware enough to know what to avoid. I sit here at 8am in my quiet room saying “I am an adamantium bulwark, the immovable object” but when the music’s going and the wines flowing, I just don’t want to be there. I’ve been there plenty of times and it holds no appeal for me. I feared I couldn’t cut it in those environments anymore until I realized that I determine my comfort level and I always can leave or not go. Does it mean maybe letting some folks down or missing out on some fun? Sure… but true friends will understand (as my friends have) and my life is plenty full thank you, and again, been there done that ❤ I have tentative plans to go smorgasborging (Buffets) with some friends and hiking with another friend, planned 1on1 and small group gatherings are more my speed these days. 3 People is good, you can have a lot of fun with 3 chill people on the same page. Add diapers and sexual inhibition and you’ve got yourself a heck of an evening.

Honestly, I kept my “party” life and ABDL life separate, diapers are a peaceful thing for me, it’s strange for me to see people do aggressive things, sexual or otherwise, in diapers. I never liked imbibing nicotine in diapers, it seemed like such an incongruency. But these are just small things, the main point is avoiding the noisy rooms, the potential of harm, both from others or to myself. Next post I’ll tell you what you can learn about this prevention concept from Japanese train stations.

I’m going to My Best Friends Wedding in May, I think that will take all my energy for the year. Just got my tickets for California, anxious about it but will be smart and safe. Mainly going there to see my family, as they are getting older fast and I have not been back home since the start of the pandemic, if you recall I came back from CA on May 10th 2020, right before the whole world shut down. It’s going to be an adventure and will take some serious before and after care, but it’s one of those things you have to do in life. “I’m sure it’ll be alright” she says to herself with a slight quiver in her voice.

The other type of Cons

I made a video tackling Mutual Aid scams. I spent like a week on the video and longer on the story, it’s completed, here it is. Don’t share this, it’s unlisted, it’s for small audiences only and I’ll be filming a more legit version of this soon, this is more of a proof of concept and is not for public consumption.

The final note to this video is that I contacted the owner of the Gofundme privately, and after asking about some incongruencies and making aware that I knew the particulars of the few different accounts they were running (but with no accusations of fraud), this person shut everything down mid-conversation. A few associated accounts changed their names, tweets were deleted, it seems they got caught and turned tail. From desperate for groceries to “it’s ok, I got everything I needed” in one conversation, incredible. Over $20K GFM income in 9 months. And we’re seeing this happen with the anti-abortion and LGBT laws right now, people using tragedy for money.

This a big issue to me, Mutual Aid saved my life and I’m passionate about the money going to the right place. I have straight up begged for money on this website and I got it, I want people who need help get it. I don’t ask for anything . I’m also cautious and want to be really, really careful, as should anyone questioning this sort of thing. But these scams are ALL OVER, and someone needs to say something, I guess that’s me. Very interested in feedback. I’m not sure what I’m doing here but I feel like I have to do something, I see people potentially getting suckered every day. This video isn’t the right thing to do, it’s too targeted and while I am convinced this person is inauthentic, I need to make a video more about general scam prevention. One in terms of mutual aid scams and one in terms of personal relationships/catfish/fake mommies. I have this incredible platform and ability to produce content, I need to use it for community wellness stuff, in between the diaper pics and kinky vids.

4th Lost Topic

I wrote a big thing about gender and sexuality labels but I shelved it for now. Sometimes I need to vent but don’t need to publish to get value from it. I’m working on bigger writing projects, more soon. Look for “Little Life Learnings” in the future.

Shocking Reveal

Got a bunch of new electrical wiring in my place and the capability to have more, safer power! I also got my internet fixed from the storms (been going off of Data off and on for a bit) and have some dudes coming by to pick up the old broken stuff in my studio, I will be opening my WIX store soon! I can’t even say how much time I’ve spent in the last 2 years in a full body coveralls and respirator lugging rusted metal and vacuuming up concrete dust, i’ve been working my little butt off and it’s starting to all come together ❤ Life has been full to the brim ❤

Thanks for reading, I have like 5 short little videos ready to be posted, bear with me! More cuteness tomorrow!!! Thanks for letting me get some words out, I’ve been a little tightly wound and needed to work some stuff out. I’m going to go ride my bike in the sun and not look at any screens for a little while. New stuff soon, hugs friends!! Happy Spring!!!

Quick Healthy Hello Video!

Today’s the day off! I have been completely exhausted lately but I’m all recharged and have some smiley snuggles to share!

First here’s a little video from last month, I hadn’t posted it here yet! Last month was a trip, but I’m feeling good and have some fun posts to share!

And some extra soggy pics for good measure!!!

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend ahead!! Sending big smiley bear hugs <3<3

And if you’re playing Elden Ring, go check out all my Elden Ring posts on Youtube!

More smiley crinkly posts coming sooon!

3 Becomes 1

First off, it’s 1999, packing my lunch for High School, 107.9 The END (that radio station that did that deadly “Hold Your Wee for a Wii” contest) is playing 2 Becomes 1 by the Spice Girls in the car. I carpooled with the neighbors and their van smelled liked caramel corn and their daughter was a year older than me and she would always brush her teeth and spit out the window on the way to school so the van had toothpaste streaks on the doors. She was one of the first girls I ever made out with, once at a party at the “unsupervised” house, she was wearing a really big maxi pad that poked out of her sweatpants, I already had strong diaper interests and it seemed like fate was trying to make my love of absorbent padding as apparent and unavoidable as possible. She once wore one of her Dad’s Depends as a joke and I had to act like I wasn’t about to vibrate out of existence with excited tension. High school was wild.

That came out of nowhere, that’s the fun thing about writing, it triggers old memories. I have not thought about that neighborhood in a very long time, funny how everything seems like a blur until something brings up a very specific set of recollections. That same could be said for the very blurry last month, it’s been tons of adventure, hospital visits, world events, personal ups and downs, life has been very *full*! The storms here have been unreal, the snow and cold has been oppressive but thankfully I can still post and make content, though even with my heater and everything it’s hard to enjoy being naked in single digit weather.

So to follow up on yesterdays post, here’s a more tolerable video with only a single Riley. Some people say “the more Riley the better” but I’m not so sure, you’d need alot of diapers and you’d spend all day cuddling and changing pouty Riley’s. Plus the Riley’s would spend all day doing naughty things with each other, it’d be a sticky, unmanageable mess…

CW: some eating/emotional stuff

So I shant be signing up for the local cloning experiments so you’ll just have one Riley to deal with! On another note, one that I’m not sure how to approach as it’s sensitive, but I’ve been too skinny for a while now and I have been trying to put on a little weight, I gained 5 lbs. which is a big deal for me, I’m proud of myself.

Most of life I realize is just a struggle with oneself, when you’re young it’s a devil and an angel on your shoulders but as you get older it’s more like Jekyll/Hyde, Goofus/Gallant situation, Hyde forgot to eat all day so Jekyll is lightheaded, Goofus got upset with a friend so Gallant feels insecure, Riley is super social and busy then gets overwhelmed and can barely make a phone call. I know I’m describing any number of conditions but i’m more in the “I ate too many cookies before bed and now I have a tummy ache” level of imbalance, just been a looong February. I had a nice birthday and want to send more thanks for all the positive thoughts 🙂 Sending warm, warm hugs to you, the person reading this ❤

Anyway, here’s a little video about storms and snuggly feelings!

Thanks so much for reading, i’ll leave you some crinkly and cuddly warm fits, I’m so excited for spring but I do miss my footies and comfy soff winter clothes <3<3 Optimism ahead!

Tomorrow will be Elden Ring content! Hugs and happy thoughts!

Riley by the Barrelfull!

Hey there friends! Birthday excitement is over, had a really nice day on my Bday and it’s been a good couple days since, weathers starting to warm up, cute dresses are coming out!!! I have tons of adorable pics and videos ready to go, I’ve been super-prolific lately and producing more content than I know what to do with, it’s really exciting.

For the first time in a loooong time I’ve had to schedule out posts for the weeks ahead, it makes me feel all professional and everything. I like having a content schedule and know that if some wild stuff happens in my personal life, my well oiled content machine will continue to run for a bit. Now that I have a number of subscribers it’s super important to me to NOT go dark or have extended breaks, I haven’t always been consistent (though I have never left) and want to make sure people can confidently subscribe to my content, as well as just show that reliable ABDL content creation can be done. Small communities like this really get inspired by well crafted content. I’m still learning and my *everything* is still rough, but i’m getting better all the time!

This video is 30 seconds of 3 different takes of the same “Hi, it’s Riley” video!” I’ll post the finished 4th version in my next post ~ if you like headaches you’ll love this video!

To that point, when it comes to the conversation about “Not Looking Bad” in front of non-ABDLs, I’m less concerned about looking bad, there’s no way as in individual to prevent the creeps, predators and flashers etc. What you can do is be the best person you can, make the best content possible and show that the community has thoughtful, kind, consent-aware people in it. I put a ton of work into my videos because I think it shows that being ABDL doesn’t prevent a person from being smart and capable. It’s the argumentum ad verecundiam fallacy, the “Appeal to Authority” but more in the “they’re wearing a stethoscope so they must be smart” way. It’s a cheap trick but it works, it’s hard to be down on a girl who’s smiling, skilled and doing her own thing. See also: Prosperity Gospel or this Mr. Show Skit

I’m a solid believer in “If You Want To Make The World A Better Place, Start With Yourself”. Instead of being mad people are a certain way, instead I focus on being glad that I’m not that way. I can’t change others, but I can let my positive attitude radiate.

Little things like that I feel help the mental health of people feeling down on themselves, as a transperson I love seeing someone like Rachel Lavine (Health Sec.) or Amy Schneider (Jeopardy Pro) because they’re talented, accomplished people, something even the most rebellious or jaded of us can appreciate. Being hot is great and all but I’ve never found that to be a good value assessment, I’m all about knowledge and emotional intelligence. You can’t put vaseline or a filter on that.

I need to do more, my videos are still few and far between and I have hardly begun work on the next one, it dawned on me recently that I keep trying things that are just distractions, like video game streaming and posting on Reddit, I need to focus and just serve up that hot and fresh trans/ABDL content. And this is all in my free-time of course, StayDiapered is my personal mission where StayKinky is more my dayjob, my commissioned art. I love both and am so happy that things are going well with both, but I’m still not really there yet, I need to promote and really get my ass out there, fig. and lit. I need to get some help too, I have been doing this on my own for too long and working with fellow artists or having the occasional Production Assistant would be incredible.

Ok, my tummys rumbling, the bears are getting hungry too, we’re gonna go into the forest and forage for berries, maybe steal some hiker’s coolers and eat their jerky and continental cheeses. Tell me in the comments if you think this post had a point or not!

Hope you like the silly little video ❤ More soon, thanks for reading!

Song of the Day – Too Many Cooks – 8 Bit Remix