Here’s a new video from VICE and “Vice’s Guide To Sex” – Featuring awesome folks like CaseyStrom of ABU, DiaperPerv and Dr. Rhoda. It also features “Goddess” Kat Marie, who I understand is a massive bastard, but more on that later as these things develop.
I don’t have much to say yet, but here it is. Just planning on another round of folks praising this and universally bashing every other media appearance, forgetting how much positive media I’ve done or not counting it as positive because of the oft-repeated “eeeugh why does a TRANSGIRL have to represent us, makes us look like fr**ks”. After some of the doxxing and harrassment I faced (which is finally getting addressed a decade on with the recent attempts at a Kiwifarms takedown) I hope this community doesn’t forget the challenges folks would face coming out in media, and how we needed to do that in hopes someday we’d get a fair shake.
Just a little exhausting when a known abuser is getting a ton of praise and platforming. Exhausting when people say “there’s been no good appearances” followed by “well, I don’t follow or watch Rileys appearances”. As always, I do my best backing off of social media and working on a definitive document covering an issue, so I will do that, I feel I might be getting a little too sour for my liking 😛 Things are getting a little too spicy for the pepper as they say.
Ok, I am going to play some Tony Hawk and goto bed, I have completely lost interest in my current video game, Final Fantasy 7 Remake Intergrade DX Ultra Hyper Remix Edition, and really need something to spice me back up, I think I might get that Cult of The Lamb game, love Devolver Digital.
I had a big community ask I was planning on putting out tonight but the VICE thing derailed it. I was intending on putting out this thing about “finding positive examples of inclusivity” but instead I have all these abuse allegations floating around the community now. Because this is going to give this person a ton of fame and I think it’s important to tell the whole truth, not the he said/she said of social media. But i’ll be real, it looks really bad for Kat Marie.
More stuff soon and including a review of Dr. Rhodas “You Are Not Broken” Book which I received a hardcopy of recently from a fan and really look forward to reading and discussing! Also some incredible new ABDL videos on my “StayKinky” manyvids site, just goto staykinky.com, follow the links and buy some adult content, I just put out an incredible soggy diaper video 🙂
A Discussion about Reddit’s r/GirlsinDiapers Subreddit and their “No Trans Posts” Policy, designed to exclude a huge population of ABDL girls from posting on a popular Subreddit. The Mods use an outdated, narrow margin, Obama-Era Poll to justify banning transwoman and continuing to squat on the “GirlsinDiapers” name on Reddit and it’s large following, which should allow ALL ABDL Girls.
The sub is lost and not worth campaigning for, just using this situation to discuss the larger issues with exclusivity in social spaces and the lengths folks will go to make a “you’re not welcome” statement.
Thanks for watching and please keep an open mind!
WRITTEN AND PRODUCED BY RILEY KILO
>> SELECTED MUSIC FROM MUSICBOXX.COM, FLEETWOOD MIDI & DONKEYKONG64
Ciswomen/Cisgender Simply, “Not Transgender” – An easy and inoffensive term to distinguish between Trans/Not Trans folks.
ABDL Adult Baby/Diaper Lover or Diaper Lifestyle
Misogynist Having or Showing a Dislike or Prejudice for Women
Meatspace Real Life, Not Online
Egg/Eggy A Transperson who isn’t out or aware of being trans yet
Catfishing To pretend to be someone else for money, attention, thrills or ???
Not much to say today other than I’m dressed like a little fairy princess on a big adventure and will post some really cute pics tomorrow of my sunsiny day <3<3 Life is good, feeling adorable ❤ Pardon the spooky post last time but it’s a life of contrast, it’s good to get that stuff out instead of welling it up, sometimes we need the dark to remind us of the light ❤
This controversial and bold statement rang out across the internet, the fearlessness of this act is a beacon to all.
More on fearlessness later, but for now, I need a paragraph of extreme venting and a few more of light venting. Granted, I wrote this a week ago and is not exactly reflective of my current mindset. But I’m tired of writing massive things then not posting them, so here we go.
BUT BEFORE I GET TO THAT, SOME GOOD NEWS – I have always been a very hairy girl, I won’t get too into it but I would look like Girl Robin Williams if I let it go. The hormones are decimating that, I haven’t shaved my body in a week and while there’s still alot of hair, it’s much lighter, much less dense and much easier to get rid of. Life is good, transition is good!
Over the last month it’s been challenge after challenge and it’s finally all settled down. It’s been in the 90s all month and the humidity has made my hair all curly and pretty but I feel like I’m breathing jell-o most the time. My friend is having health issues and there’s been alot of emotions and Doctor/Hospital time around that. I lost my healthcare plan and had to switch due to it being “Discontinued”, won’t see the fallout until Sept. My bio-Mom’s cancer is progressing and I have a big ol’ cry welling up over that one, I have no idea what to do or say, who does? I started chewing my nails again. I got diagnosed with IBS and my stomach issues are more present than ever, thankfully it’s more tummy and not bathroom issues, but its also bathroom issues. They were looking at me for colon cancer years ago and though I was cleared (after a decade of back/forth) in 2019, I hope that saga is over. Everyone was at Summer Capcon having fun while I was holding my partners hand while they went down for a heart procedure. I’ve had to spend a significant amount of time with folks with whom I have to tell lies because being being honest about who I am and what I do would just make trouble and draw unnecessary attention. I can’t sleep more than a couple hours at a time. I’ve been playing too much Tetris and Civilization, expressing my manic addictive cravings in a semi-heatlthy way but frankly i’d rather not not be like that. And the big one, I was sent a photo of the guy who groomed me and it broke me down, all this scattershot right-wing grooming propaganda talk has been wrecking me. They are blaming LGBT+ people and “Wokeness” and not power structures or lack of resources/acceptance for queer youth or hierarchical issues in things like colleges and the million other reasons, but they chalk it up to “f*gs exist”.
All this piling on, I’m a lit stick of dynamite and I’ll be taking the next few days to defuse myself, and that’s not done by sitting around in bed or gaming, that just makes me more miserable, it’s by making videos and doing the good, creative side of the job. I need a hug and a big long nap. Moving on…
Whew, deep breath.
So I wrote that a week ago, and I feel way more mentally sound but I still have some stuff to say on this Tuesday Thursday Morning.
I took some time to deal with the wreckage of the last few weeks, took a few days to really clean up my living space and organize my things. Mostly just bumming around the house playing around with the things I have, wallowing in my own crapulance as Mr. Burns would say. My entire life I never had more than a PC and what would fit in a few suitcases. I lived small, I lived practical, with a foot out the door always.
You know in 70’s porn everyones wearing shoes because it was illegal to film porn anywhere so they often would have to run if the law interfered? That’s the way I lived my life, instead of running from the law I was running from my myself and other bad people, situations, towns. That “other bad people” line is intentional and not Freudian, I was an awful person to myself for a long time, i’ve been careful to not externalize much of it.
So now that i’m done running, i’m acting like your old Depression era grandparents, I’m keeping a bunch of canned beans in the basement because I remember a time when I couldn’t have beans. This, for me, means hoarding thrift store dresses and diapers. It also means keeping some human beans close for the first time in a long time.
An old bestie moved to Pittsburg, a close friend to both of us passed and we haven’t spoken much since then, nearly a decade. Talking again now was just like the good old times, true friends pick up where they left off like the last 10 years was simply a missed beat. She asked me about friends in my town, I told her honestly, I don’t have many. I still have a nice clutch of friends in my hometown, many online and all over the country, but I felt so much loss for a long, long time just shut myself off to other people. I didn’t want to hurt anyone else and couldn’t take the hurt myself.
This sounds extremely morbid, but I feel comfortable in a relationship with someone much older because the idea of aging, entropy, death is a more constant, inevitable presence. I have always felt “OLD” myself, always faced loss, I’m comfortable with it. When I was a kid we provided end-of-life care for dogs, so I had a 100 dead dogs as a kid and volunteered for the ASPCA etc, Death is part of my DNA. I’m still just as sensitive to it and fear the void as much as anyone, but instead of a lightning strike it feels like a constant companion… “You can tell by the way I walk my walk, there’s a coroner behind me holding chalk”. There’s no right way to say it, but I feel more comfortable loving people on borrowed time. I never thought I’d live this long, and not in some cutesy dismissive way, but I was convinced I had dug my hole and all I needed to do was lie down.
I was always good at faking happiness, at faking sanity, at faking literally everything about myself because what lies underneath that mask was not good. If you haven’t walked a mile in my shoes and faced disassociation, abuse, emotional issues etc, you may think I sound like a sociopath. But that’s the way the world goes ’round for some folks, we have to fake it to make it. Some can’t fake and can’t operate, and i’ve been there, but my drive and ambition has led me to hide the wounds best I can, but I can tell you now… you can’t do it forever.
I ate some edibles the other day and spent about an hour staring at the ceiling just taking a massive personal inventory. I realize how much of my depression and aggression has to do with having the wrong hormones but also the massive chip on my shoulder from the abuse I’ve faced, the opportunities I’ve lost, and the disservice of being told I was going to be rich and famous someday and the stage-mom aspects of my childhood. When they told Jesus that he was the most special boy in the whole world, his response is “WHY ME?”.
That kind of pressure is really unfair, and it’s no surprise that most child actors grew up to have serious social and addiction issues, yay is the only thing that can match the high of the stage or re-invigorate the pleasure of praise, you find that praise numbs over time and becomes white noise. Nothing worse than people telling you “You’re awesome and inspirational and I want to be you!” when you’re all fucked up and depressed. Part of the reason why I went dark for so long was to both avoid disappointing or over-sharing my pain with folks who have an emotional attachment to my story but also because I couldn’t stand faking it anymore.
When I said “you can’t do it forever”, it’s true, you may find success or fame or admiration, but someday that dam will break and you’ll be masturbating on the streetcorner in front of TMZ cameras or getting a DWI or something worse, something permanent. I found this out about myself pretty fast and thankfully the hole I dug, while deep and fetid, was able to be climbed out of. Though I still feel pretty damn muddy sometimes.
If you’ve been following me long enough, you know that I am well versed in the abject horror of life while still being a little ray of sunshine most of the time 🙂 I embrace joy and try my best to spread it, and have called myself a “Sunny-Side Up Nihilist”, basically life is meaningless but let’s make the best of it for everyone, try to make the scale tip more towards good than bad, lets focus on the moment to moment instead of concerning ourselves with “what if’s” and contemplating chaos. Let the Mystery Be ❤
So enough of that, it’s time to get to work! Here’s a new video from a new project, I still have diaper stuff incoming just took a little break after the big burst in July! I was starting to burn out on Diapers/Trans stuff so wanted to balance it out with some hobby fun! This video has some GRAPHIC and SPOOKY imagery, there’s some super creepy stuff in here and would not watch it unless you are a fan of extreme horror or know who Junji Ito is. Honestly, some of this stuff is a little too much for even me, very “Scary Stories to Tell in The Dark” style images. Lately I’ve felt like people forget that “Cute Diapergirl Riley Kilo” is only a slice of my life, and I have lots of hobbies and thoughts and interests outside of peeing my pants 😛
I’m not wearing makeup and deliberately dressed down, I have always aspired to not set unrealistic standards and just wanted to be “me”, a smiley girl who wants to tell you a bout the spooky stuff she likes. I really strive to be authentic, my transition, my writing, it’s all chipping away at the layers of mud and dirt so that someday the real me might see the sunshine. But i’m feeling so fresh & so clean right now, and the sad times get shorter and the normal times last longer and i’m happy for that. Also 300 Days since quitting Nicotine, life is good, sending some of that happy, strong little girl energy your way!!!
Thanks for reading, some cute plastic romper pics coming tomorrow to put all this behind us 😛 In future i’ll be talking about “Thriller: A Cruel Picture” (Sweden, 1973) and “Happy End” (Czech, 1966), two of my favorite out-of-print films! And also, of course, more diaper stuff incoming! Will be filming my next couple Diaper Museum Reviews this weekend!
Hi friends! Just a cute little video with some pics and previews of upcoming excitement!!
I’m appealing the Age Restriction thing, all my videos are 18+, all age restriciton does is kneecap kinky and queer creators. If I was wearing a see-thru thong or murdering someone it’d be fine for youtube, but a big diaper, how dare I!
Here’s the new diaper company. Looks legit, there have been fake companies in the past just stealing preorder money but this seems ok. Though They seem to not have a website, a stunningly easy thing to obtain nowadays. Check out “The Cuddle Cooperative” on Twitter. Also Rearz in Canada has a new diaper.
Hey remember that series I did a million years ago called Let’sGetSRS where I talk all about my transition and stuff? Well it’s back now but it’s not in POG form, I have a brand new video to share talking all about my transition! Just a little 1 month update with some history thrown in the mix!
Thanks for watching and I have a similar video but with a diaper focused update coming soon!
On a personal note I have a very close friend who’s going into get a heart procedure today and I’m going to be be by their side, it’s been a tough week getting ready for this and I’ve been a little quiet for that reason. Whatever you do to send love and support and good wishes, I would really appreciate it. Thanks friends ❤
Hope you enjoy the video and life is as difficult and complicated as ever but now I’m doing it in the sunshine and I’m a very happy girl. More stuff soon thanks for watching!!!