Accountability Diary – She Gazed

Hello Internet!

This post will be a quick journal of my recent accountability project, no diaper, kink or fun content to be found here, just explaining my process and working some things out. All the Content Warnings, this is bad stuff but it’s good work, I am well, happy & healthy. I’m not in the role of the victim here, but rather the advocate. If you’re only here for diaper stuff, which is totally valid, Go check out my latest video and come back soon for more silly nonsense, this post is heavy lifting. The actual post/video, unlike this one, will actually be compelling and well made.

I’ve been examining “How Abusers Keep Abusing” and i’d like to be as transparent as possible about this particular project, so I think this diary is the best way to do it. I want to avoid social media and limit the arguing and emotions. I’m not trying to jam anyone up or sneak around, I’m just a blogger trying to figure out if VICE media just put a tiara on an abuser or not. And all things considered the reviews on that special are positive it seems and this has nothing to do with any criticism of that show or her representation of ABDL in it.

And personally, I need to vent, digging through all this grime effects me (i’d be concerned if it didn’t) and writing about it helps, prevents me from getting too caught up or having it consume my thinking too much, as it has the last few days. Consider this a pre-draft alpha, this is my writing process made public, I tend to spill it all and then edit the hell out it.

Let me sincerely thank everyone who has trusted me with their story. It’s not easy sharing and revisiting these experiences and it’s less easy trusting strangers on the internet, I want folks to know that while the video may not come out until the end of September (I originally stated Halloween but I will do everything I can to get it out sooner) I want to keep you informed of what i’m doing and assure you that I am actively working on this, I would never set out on a task like this without the full expectation of taking it to completion. I am traveling through September and will have some other content coming out in the meantime.

In addition to Kat, I will also be briefly discussing “Chloe Corrupt” from Northern California in the video and showing the similarities in their manipulative and defensive tactics. But for the remainder of this post I will be talking specifically about Kat and their associates.

Thanks for reading, here we go.

Out of about 30 submissions split through Contact Form, Twitter and Fetlife, I’ve received about 15 independent reports that I would consider “valuable”. I have received several that I would consider opinion or speculation about her personality, I don’t consider these “Vibe Checks” or character testimony to be relevant. If I was nice to a hundred people and ate one, you’d probably want to hear about that one. Life has no point system, and most every valuable submission has stated how charming and kind they can be, but how there’s a performative aspect to her and can turn ugly.

So I have all these stories in a big pile, what should I do with them? The first step I took is determining the value of each claim, which is done by examining the who/what/where/when and the providence of the person, their statement and the “big picture”. This is all pretty icky work, it’s what we do as a society to vet each other but it can be dangerous if prejudice informs decisions.

For the person, are they active in ABDL, posting and interacting with other community members? Have they been around? Most of these accusations are coming from people I would describe as Known Entities such as verified models and people known online or in local communities. The 2 Anonymous Entries I received corroborate with ID’d people’s stories and led me to people with more information. Many of these folks I have grown to know organically over the years and many are from different cliques and backgrounds, and some I don’t know or don’t know me at all.

As for their statement – Does it make objective sense? Is the message about insulting the person or just sharing their experiences? Are they trying to convince me of something, evoke sympathy? Does the tone not match the level of intensity of the experience, are they not taking it seriously? I think we all have a bullshit detector and frankly, mine is cranked up to 11, as a creative writer (synonym for BS) I have faith in my ability to discern between fact and fiction, though I would not let that weigh too heavily on the scales.

Finally, Does the big picture check out? Am I getting the same facts from separate parties describing the same events? How does it match with the other experiences i’ve been told, do all the dots connect? If one person says baseball bat and the other says pocket knife, that would be cause for concern. Does there seem to be coaching? Is there specific events or just a general “bad vibe?”. Is any of it “political” or subjective?

And from my perspective, after assessing the People, the Statements and the Corroboration, I think it’s pretty clear that these claims have merit.

So lets examine the letters of value – Many center around a single violent incident but all map out a history of ignoring consent, manipulating community members, classic abuser obfuscation and retaliation. Everything from “She never followed through on her end of a commission” or “I was her sub for a while until I realized she was fake” to the much more extreme “she encourages intoxication and breaking consent at parties” to “covering up sexual abuse” to “outing kinky people” to worse and worse and worse. There are a few things that won’t make it into the final product outside of allusions because I, myself, don’t feel comfortable addressing it. I have to set that sort of limit when making a video like this, as some things cut too close to the bone for me.

There’s much more here than a few bad nights or some miscommunication. It seems the knife incident ( I will elaborate on all this in the final product) was just the dam breaking and led to their blacklisting from their local community and having their bad behavior exposed both IRL and online. Often all these claims need is some cohesion or physical proof to get the naysayers to listen and a catalyst event like this (with police reports etc) is often good enough proof for most people. But online, these things are forgotten or ignored. For many industry people, white skin and big breasts is all the vetting they need.

In Defense of Kat

I have a few letters defending her and a few taking a more aggressive stance towards me, lines like “jealousy”, “just looking for attention”, “seeking relevance” etc, but nothing contradicting the piles and piles of accusations. Many are on Twitter and not through email as I asked, as many are taking a similar tone and I assume are sockpuppets, many were created in August 2022 and have no tweets. Email contact would likely expose the facade.

I have seen this often in kink communities and we as world see it more often lately with internet fame and echo chambers… that Cult of Personality mindset. The cliques entire worldviews lies on idea that their person is in fact completely honest and always has been. All the claims of abuse, misdealings, lies, crimes etc are just jealous and petty, it’s all a big conspiracy designed to take this paragon of honesty down because everyone is just so toxic and they can’t handle her positivity (???). Most people see right through it, but through manipulation, insulation and personal reliance people like this gain staunch defenders, building a wall to shield others from reality. In discussing this project, many folks who had never spoken with her, big names in ABDL, were surprised to find she had blocked almost every other model/woman in the scene. If that’s not a red flag I don’t know what is. I was tweeting about this like, 2 years ago, this has been a well documented issue with this person.

Why has she so wholeheartedly rejected the ABDL community? I can only assume it’s because she wants to hide away and catch unsuspecting young ABDLs who only see “KAT IS AN INNOCENT ANGEL” comments, maintain that insular echo chamber. This is like, Abuser 101, find the young or naive, control the conversation, isolate, block and ban anyone who MIGHT call her out. The truth is irrefutable, so the goal is to prevent the truth from penetrating to the manipulated. It’s so heinous when you look at it objectively, it’s this gaslighting chamber and it separates new people from their communities, where accountability matters.

Why This Matters To Me

Probably way too much information about me, but here we go…

I am a sex worker and have been since I turned 18. I have done sex work at clubs and bars, craigslist, in person, in dungeons, and now mostly online with some clandestine IRL encounters. I know that scene.

I also have done all the drugs and gone to all the parties and am also very experienced in that scene, I know when someone is yakked out or how some drunk people deal with boundaries and I know how that should not be mixed with BDSM play space.

Furthermore, I was groomed by a college professor at age 13 until I became an adult, achieved through manipulation and entertainment industry connections. I have been in the entertainment industry since I was a small child.

I tell you these 3 messy details to assure you that I can see it.

I can see it in the people who have abused me and I can see it in those who abuse others. And most frighteningly, I can see it in myself when I gaze too deeply into the abyss. I make this video because I want everyone to see it so we may hope to never see it again. I want the abusers in this community to know there is no hiding behind fans or institutions, we see you.


This next part is messy but due diligence demands that I consider motive. Why would these issues come up now and where are they coming from? What would someone gain from making these accusations up? Though I must say, I fundamentally disregard the notion that women makes these accusations flippantly, for revenge, jealousy, or the implications that it’s just a tool in their box to hurt someone. It has certainly happen, especially when race is a motivating factor, If you’re reading this you should know about Emmit Till, Black Wall Street etc and if you don’t, read this Times Article.

But the Gamergate ideal that false accusations is a common, growing issue is a result of misogynistic propaganda and divisive political rhetoric to radicalize young men. That’s not speculation, that’s page one of the Steve Bannon playbook. Many folks of all political backgrounds and genders capitalize on this idea and use it as a shield, hence the serious number of posts and messages attempting to derail accountability and having a chilling effect on women voices. The statement from the follows:

If you speak your truth, you will be perceived as a petty, jealous, overreacting bitch, no man will want you and no women will work with you. In fact, you may just be crazy.

But lets not let internet confirmation bias skew the numbers, you are more likely to be crushed by a vending machine than face false accusations of abuse because someone doesn’t like you. I am way more ubiquitous in ABDL and a controversial figure to say the least, yet nobody has ever accused me of any sexual assault, scams, manipulation or anything despite having been to many, many events all around the country and fairly ubiquitous in this community for like, ever.

You know why? Because I don’t abuse people. I have been a jerk sure, I can be loud and opinionated and wrong about stuff, but I would 100% hope if you found out that I was doing some proper bad stuff, you would call my ass out. And hopefully I would be granted forgiveness if I deserved it and i’d probably go and do something else with my life if I didn’t. Although I don’t plan on facing this dilemma… I surely wouldn’t send out a bunch of my fans and friends to defend and argue or attempt to silence anyone, I’m proud to say I have not gained that kind of cult fandom nor do I seek it.

While I have fans and supporters, I am a largely neutral party in this community and would not give any deference to personal relationships. Some of these people I have known for over a decade and I don’t see them making these allegations about anyone else despite rivalries and disagreements always existing. They marginalize these voices by making it seem personal and I was hoping as someone completely unrelated and dare I say, trustworthy, I would be able to cut through the conjecture. I intend to present the information as I have with other bad actors such as ABDiscovery and ABDLTruth, providing evidence and testimony from the community, not personal anecdote or opinion.

The Goal – ‘Only those who do not seek power are qualified to hold it.’

When I went on MSA, I did so because i didn’t want someone to get big in this community and then the world finds out that they’re a p*do or they use that huge platform to take advantage of people. Fame lets people rise above accountability, gives them notoriety they may not have earned. I know what people are capable of when they have power and insulation and the willingness to exploit. I grit my teeth as I write this. I remember the faces of the people who knew but chose to ignore. I know how it feels to be a small voice. I know what’s at stake.

The Goal is to collect all these scattered experiences together into a single document and let people make their own judgments. I’m trying to maintain object permanence so when people are vetting her, they can learn of other folks experiences. And hopefully, they will address these issues and be more transparent with their fans and the community and nobody will be at risk for getting exploited or worse. And failing any of that, we will hopefully use this as a means to identify other bad actors or provide precedent if future issues were to arise. My efforts here are not about pursuing anything beyond awareness.

This is what the start of accountability looks like, some of the compiled letters about Kat and her actions.

For now I need a break, I’m putting this out to breathe, I am no longer actively seeking submissions (though feel free to send info/follow up) and have more than enough testimony and stories, tweets, video clips etc to make a reasonable doubt argument. And remember, It’s important to tell this story with respect for privacy of both the victims as well as Kat & her partners, so please do not share any information that would be identifying etc.

Thanks for reading all of this, more cuteness and cuddles sooooon!!!

Safety and Solidarity friends ❤

Riley K.

“Work Hard on Work Worth Doing”

3 thoughts on “Accountability Diary – She Gazed

  1. I wasn’t able to read the letters, is that on purpose ? Or is there a way, or another location ? Thank you for being a champion for just causes in our Community ! All the best

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