Hi there friends. It’s 1:00am, I have had a miserable cold since coming back from NYC last week, no covid but just flat out.
There’s been some nonsense online lately around this tweet by some internet horse guy, after a ton of furries came out.
In my feverish delirium, i wrote a big thing about why people are chomping at the bit to repeat this misconception. They’re always neighsaying, with unbridled carelessness, making real horses asses of themselves.
Here’s the article, it’s written very much to be a video and is incomplete without it, but I’d really appreciate some feedback before I put this out. My goal here is the same as all my videos, to just share my view, add to the discussion and hope to inspire others. My # question is, does this make sense?
Fun diaper stuff coming soon, filming some stuff about Abenas tomorrow if i’m up for it, lots to do but am awfully sick still, haven’t had a cold in years.
It’s late so I’m hitting Publish. I think this is finished but I don’t know if it’s right yet, I need a big sleep on it and some friendly eyes. Thanks for reading and pardon the roughness and lack of bibliography also this is full of content warnings so waaatchout.
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Hi there Friends, this is Riley Kilo and today we’re talking frankly about whether ABDL and Pedophilia are correlated. This comes do to a recent influx of ABDL joy from the furry community, which lead to some neighsayer bringing out this moldy take. So let’s break it down for the millionth time, there will be some effin and jeffin huge Content Warning but we’re all adults here. Here we go!
So, “the ABDL community” has nothing to do with attraction or interaction with kids, this is well established culturally and clinically. I’m not here to debate if changing your partners diaper or sleeping in a onesie makes you a pedophile, because it categorically does not… Adults doing consenting adult stuff does not makes them pedophiles, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you. And the whole regression thing, just think about dom/sub dynamics and you’re halfway there, it’s not that dissimilar to other kinky dynamics or fascinations.
In this video, we’ll talk about why people repeat this misconception and the potential harm that “pedojacketing” an entire communtiy can do, especially when that community has lots of vulnerable members. I’ll be highlighting specious thinking and logical fallacies in these kneejerk reactions to ABDL.
So, Deep breath… Pedophilia is sexual interaction with children and the damage it causes is unforgivable, I believe everyone agrees on this. Any visible social movement for the acceptance or tolerance of pedophilia, such as MAPs or “pedo pride”, is rightfully rejected and called out as a psy-op or trolling.
The ABDL community, defined by shops, sites and events and the people who attend them, has been steadfast in unmasking and ousting any bad actors who would attempt to join our spaces, countless callout posts confirm this. We are fervently anti-pedo, same as any healthy community, kinky, queer or otherwise. When communities lack moderation, the nazis and pedophiles show up, so we practice constant vigilance with both fronts. Look how we have rejected Deeker, Star Diapers and any number of other bad actors. Yes, we get bad folks in our midst, like the furries get zoophiles and the BDSM scene gets abusers, but we clean house and make content like this to emphasize community standards. Spend time with us and you’ll see.
But with accountability, we must be mindful. I do not believe in Thoughtcrime or criminalizing art or fantasy or consenting sexuality. I do not believe video games make you violent, nor does dressing up like a horse make you a horse and doesn’t make your partner Mr. Hands, don’t look that up.
It’s wild that I need to explain this to the tenderkink crowd, but just cause you’re offended by something doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong. People have problematic kinks and taboo fantasies, we are allowed this as free thinking adults and damn anyone who’d say different. I reject this moral arbitration of ABDL like I can’t think or feel or behave a certain way because of some abstract harm it may cause, that I may be enabling something somewhere.
It’s a purity act, virtue signaling, I use the term “Status Quo Warriors”, people that reactionarily reject anything new or foreign to them, often with a ritoughs ignorance. I don’t think they really care about kids and choose not to acknowledge the systemic Child Sexual Abuse (or CSA) in the world, so instead they pick on harmless diaper nerds for internet attention. on the point of systemic abuse
LOGIC TRAP #1 – Voice to the Voiceless
I don’t want to delve into “Whataboutism”, but let’s step back and take a macro view at Child Sexual Abuse.
I believe the majority of pedophilic acts are not lone wolfs with a psychological predilection to pedophilia, but systemic issues stemming from crooked morality, repression and opportunity, see the Catholic Church or the Dancing Boys of Afghanistan. I stand by this next statement 100%, the biggest pedophilia organisation is fundamentalist religions and always has been.
This is the nightmare world of systemic abuse countless children live in, today, and the reality of this abuse is just now starting to be exposed in ways we cannot even fathom. and it’s always the least advantaged children, the poor, the orphans, the indigenous, these predators should be cursed for what they’ve done to the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, but they are protected by these institutions. I won’t delve into the psychology too much, but many studies show rape and CSA is about power and vulnerability and sociopathy, less about sexual desire.
To clarify my crooked morality point, when ANY sex makes you burn in hell, CS abusers will choose the most vulnerable people to exploit. Patriarchy, incest, misogyny, it all leads to exploitation of the weakest, the voiceless, the little children. And that’s documented and proven, we have the mass graves and flight records, yet the crosshairs fall on us, the consenting adults who wear diapers. Often because the people attacking the kinky folk are part of those repressive systems, it’s a distraction… “Don’t give your kids to the queers, they’re a bunch of monsters… give them to us, the Catholics, we’ll take good care of them”
Some ABDLs are victims of these institutions, and use ABDL as a way to heal and deal with lost or traumatic childhoods. It’s so heinous to casually call us the predators when we are so often the victims.
If you claim to fight child sexual abuse by harrassing consensual adults wearing diapers, while ignoring the actual abuse done by Catholics or Baptists or Cops or Modeling Agencies etc, you’re not brave, you’re just another cog in that abusive machine.
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That was the angriest i’ll be in this video, I hope. Moving on to the topic at hand, why do people keep repeating the “ABDLs are pedos” misconception? Let’s look at what ABDL is and what it’s not.
First, Adult Baby Diaper Lover describes a collection of interests primary resting in two often overlapping camps, diaperism and age regression.
Let’s squash the implication that a diaper attraction implies pedophilia right here, then move on to age regression.
Diaperism, or Diaper Lovers, or Diaper Lifestyle, describes folks who have a strong, often inherent desire to wear and interact with diapers or diapered partners. This interest spans all demographics. This manifests sexually & nonsexually, for me it can be both, I love comfy platonic diaper feels but they also get me excited, it’s a rich tapestry.
As with any attraction, context matters. A baby in a diaper does not evoke the same feelings in ABDLs as seeing an adult in a diaper would, because like most people, we are not attracted to babies, and our complicated human minds are capable of making these distinctions. You know how panties or breasts may turn you on, but not when they’re your Mothers panties or Margret Thatchers breasts? Context always matters. Many ABDLs are parents or care for elderly family members, and fetishism does not break these common sense boundaries, c’mon.
The ABDL Community wholeheartedly rejects any fuckery involving kids or non-abdl incontinent people, we do this because we are not alien, we are your friends and neighbors, having a fetish or fascination does not mean we abandon our morality and responsibility to decency, to imply otherwise makes you a horses ass.
So we got that? Diaper kink and wearing diapers, be it for any combination of comfort, need, roleplaying, humility, or just because you love it and you don’t know why…. it’s all good… because we’re adults and, roll the clip ~ [Bill Cunningham clip]
I don’t know why I love them so much and don’t feel the need to rationalize it. I love them simply as an object of hyper fascination, not just as special underwear or as a means to regress, but something that I am just inherently drawn to. Not unlike how some are to trains or numbers, i just think they’re neat. If you’re a kinky person watching this, you know how strong yet unexplainable those feelings of attraction can be, or what they enable inside yourself, or how they allow you to identify.
This interest developed very early in childhood for me and many others, my first memory involves pretending to be a baby, unprompted, and I had a mundane early childhood. My quality of life is so much higher when I choose to embrace my diapered and little side. It compliments my sexuality, it heals my trauma, makes me feel more comfortable with my body, it makes me avoid public restrooms and just makes me feel so right, and all it takes is allowing myself to feel this way, to not be shamed out of it.
Ultimately, to associate diaper kink with attraction to children is implying any kink or attraction lacks distinction, which is shallow, puritan, “all sex is shameful” & “sex makes you an uncontrollable maniac” nonsense. It shows an immaturity and fundamental misunderstanding of kink and sexuality, and maybe a little projection too. I think folks who mislabel so callously need a timeout from their spaces until they learn to tolerate others
Logic Trap #2
Nobody is defending pedophiles. I beleive in removing them from society as a means of protecting it. There should be paths to recovery but those paths should be narrow and monitored and nowhere near kids. The amount of men that self-report an attraction to prepubscent girls is frightenly high, and we need to address that seriously as a society, starting with prioritizing boundries and consent.
And while I have compassion for the psychologically afflicted, I have none for people who try to normalize it or engage in it, I believe in thorough consequences both socially and legally but never encouraging state sponsored murder or violent vigilantism, she says, with gritted teeth and clenched fists.
I say this despite my emotions telling me otherwise, because there’s a whole political movement that thinks every liberal is a pedophile, so be careful with the “lets kill all pedos” movement, that violence is rarely precise. Pedos are perhaps the last group that when you hear of one being murdered, you may think “good”, which is why it’s so dangerous to accuse someone of it and why it so often happens in divisive rhetoric. Labeling someone a pedophile can be a call to action, but for a group, it’s a call for obliteration. We must be mindful of our language.
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Lets move onto Age Regression, the more clinically examined branch of ABDL, this is more unique to the individual, but let’s focus on the concept of littles and bigs.
Simple answer: think of dom/sub dynamics, the ones most relationships are based off of.
SO, littles and bigs and mids etc describes people who express their “little” side or seek “little” space, along with their partners slash caretakers. its often described as a mindset in which one can express an idealised, fantasy version of oneself, embracing the trope or role of little girl or boy or avoiding pressures of gender performance altogether. It’s about a regressed adult expressing themselves in a childlike, “innocent” way, it’s pretend, with the goal being immersion, allowing yourself to relax, be vulnerable, tear down our insecurities and stresses… I don’t often cry, even when I need to, but I feel like I can when i’m little, it’s a valve.
It’s a wide classification, from wearing bows in your hair or putting on a diaper and watching Freakazoid, to more immersive or lifestyle focused changes, like 24/7 Diapering or DDLG relationships. And while Diaper play is common it’s not universal for littles and there are very few cases of people living full-time regressed, we all have responsibilities.
Most folks can appreciate being cared for when they’re ill, or pampering your lover on a special day, or just kicking back with candy and cartoons & tuning out. I think alot of people practice healthy regression and don’t even know it. Watching Mystery Science Theatre is a totally regressive act for me, no diapers or anything needed, but it makes me feel warm and safe and a little sad, emotions that I often have trouble expressing regularly. I get embarrassed being “little” around others, it’s mostly a solo thing for me, but I often talk through my stuffies as a means to be shy but still express myself, and it gives me very warm fuzzies, I love my stuffies :):)
Logic Trap – The Kids
These interests can appear at young ages, but that underage contingent remains seperate from ABDLs. Underage guidance is for parents & professsionals, and we can teach those adults how to better understand us, as many of us felt isolated and ashamed as adolescents and our mental health, school peformance etc suffered. Those parents can teach their children how to manage those feelings, healthy and consnsually, because everybody has kinks, some are just more colorfl than others.
But no kids in ABDL, No minors in kink. Community spaces remain 18+, it’s the law of the land and a much needed barrier, and rarely see anyone with a face arguing different. Remember, please, that people lie on the internet, and many “underage” people online are old men being predators.
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Regression manifests in many ways but is all backed by the study of Age Regression. This is a field of psychological inquiry around age regression and “paraphilic infantilism” inner child therapy and any number of other classifications. Regression Therapy is well observed in aiding with PTSD, grief, sensory issues and any number of things that I am not qualified to talk about. But There’s plenty of licenced doctors who agree, ABDL’s and pedophilia are not correlated.
And while I speak for myself here, the day to day of ABDL compared to Serious Clinical Regression Therapy are far apart, we experience little bits of regression here and there or have an overall “littles” mindset but most of us are functioning adults and use regression as a means of balance. I can be a tightly wound person in my work and life, but being “Little Riley” allows me compartmentalize that stress and just fucking relax for a second & snuggle a bear.
This study of ABDL informs, or puts words, to our attraction to diapers or feeling little and it provides clinical backing for the therapeutic benefit of regression. And while there’s a growing contingent of people who exclusively focus on the mental health aspect, often demonizing the “kinky” side, that’s a conversation for another video… just know shame and unearned guilt can cause real repression. Regression, good, repression, bad.
Here’s where I really struggle, because I want to be inclusive, but we need conduct guidelines and to set boundaries rationally. I have written extensively about public exposure & other behaviour guidelines, and I think it’s time we really discuss the underage issue.
I don’t support or platform any thematic drawings of realistic looking kids, or any fictional ABDL stories with underage characters. Even if it claims to be non-sexual, I think it’s wrong to post it alongside sexual content, it correlates the two. Same reason why you can’t pot your family videos on pornhub, though you’d be excused for thinking people are.
I think that’s fuzzy line and I detest the idea of arbitrating what someone can or can’t draw, I love Taboo art, I love Junji Ito and Todd Solondz, there should be no limits to art, just responsibility by the creators to put it in appropriate places and provide the appropriate context.
Someone was recently called out for tracing pictures of actual babies in diapers for ABDL art. I think most ABDLs will take issue with that, kinda feels like child pornography with extra steps, but I suppose I’m willing to listen and expand my thinking on this… It just makes me feel bad because I don’t want to look at pictures of little kids in this context, or be around people that do.
Adult babies don’t look like babies, they look like adults, and we need to keep kids out of it entirely or we’re changing what ABDL is. That contingent of people that want to look at pictures of babies, that’s not what I consider ABDL to be. I get wanting to see a chibi or caricature version of yourself, but when you’re actually tracing kids or drawing kids interacting with adults in an ABDL context, it’s just not what we’re about… I think it’s something we need to talk about, rationally.
And I don’t like to talk for the community, the only time I ever do is when I say “ABDL has nothing to do with kids”, and if that ever changes, you’ve lost me, i’m out.
When I review baby diapers, I put a big piece of black tape over the child on the package to emphasize this point… there’s lots of bad folks out there and we need to clearly signpost that this community says “No Minors In Kink” and pedos will find no quarter here.
And really, there’s so much horrible stuff out there, spend 2 minutes in an incognito tab on Instagram and you’ll find kids in bikinis and worse, and it’s fine for kids to wear bikinis, but it’s posted in a salacious way with similar content of other girls, and holy hell, we need a serious referendum on the sexualization of children on social media. I see kids heads on adult bodies, it’s scary. There’s someone named “Bix” who’s been impersonating me for years and posts pics of kids in lingerie etc, and I have to fight so hard to get that stuff taken down. Greed means not hiring enough moderators to prevent CSA content and that greed is warping our society, and these things are way more common than diaper wearing adults, maybe focus on the real problem, go report those sites like I constantly do. Anyway, Stepping off my soapbox.
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Ultimately, being alive is traumatic to various degrees and each of us finds comfort our own way. I think it’s important avoid prejudice with others lifestyles, you never know how important something as simple as sleeping in a diaper could be to someone’s mental wellbeing. I sometimes need help calming down and feeling “OK”, especially in this big scary modern world and this is by far the healthiest, most rational way to achieve it for me… and i’ve tried lots of things. I suppose some would rather I take a pill or pray it away, to conform… but diapers are my happy pill, my soma, my strange addiction ❤
And while it’s obviously not an addiction, it can be a compulsion and it’s good to be mindful of going overboard with diapers, keeping healthy regressive behaviour and being mindful if Diapers are preventing any important progress in life, jobs, education, friendships etc. Keep an eye on Mazlowes Heirarchy at all times ❤ It’s about Balance. I could not imagine a life without my diapers, it’s just too joyful to live without, I’m so glad I found something like this that’s so healthy and accessible and while it may have closed some conformist doors, it’s opened just as many exciting new ones. Also, you don’t need a partner to be happy, but you do need healthy social relationships and a positive self image, and diapers should promote, not prevent that.
I’ve spent 15 minutes explaining why being attracted to a 36 year old woman doesn’t make you a pedophile, I think we’ve hit the nadir of anthropological video essays. The people who mislabel us they just don’t know us, they don’t spend time in our spaces, and I don’t expect to rationalize them out of an argument they didn’t rationalize them into. I make this as an affirmation of where I stand as an ABDL, a statement that we are not defined by the ignorant outsiders or a few bad actors.
This video probably won’t change any minds, but the point of art should disturb the comfortable and bring comfort to the disturbed, so I hope if you’ve been upset by the shitty takes know that you’re good, we’re good, you’ve got a whole community of really cool, exciting, people, scientists, musicians, teachers, skydivers, there’s so many cool ABDL folks and you’re one of them.
Thanks for watching friends, and stay diapered ❤
StayDiapered! 