Don’t be so hard on yourself
There’s plenty of flesh to go around
Besides it’s not like you are not using it
And who is who to say what flesh should do
And who should have it for that use
Hi Friends! I’m here to talk about 2 of my favorite things in the world, Diapers & Built to Spill!
Built to Spill is Doug Martsch and rotating collaborators, they’re known for big sonic soundscapes, deep lyrics and a intense love of pedals and guitar wailing.
Diapers are an absorbent undergarment girls like me wear to concerts so we can pee whenever we want!
I have been excited to see this show for months now, and a few nights ago I got all dressed up and headed out to see Built to Spill. They have been my favorite band since I was about 13, hearing their music really set off a spark in my life, it was so creative and relatable and though I grew up with great songwriters like Tom Waits & Dylan & the Beatles, this was entirely different and something of my own, not thrust upon me by parents or radio. Built to Spill has always been dear to me, guiding me through life in many ways. If you know Built to Spill, you’re cool in my book, when I was 18 and applied to Tower Records the guy practically gave me the job because I listened to Built to Spill, they are a constant joy.
Now, if you didn’t see this coming, can you guess one other thing in my life that has been a constant warm fuzzy joy that makes me feel warm and fuzzy but also can make me feel a good kind of sad and is essential to [understanding] who I am?
We find what works for us in life. I’m too realistic for religion, too cheery for nihilism, i’ve avoided being any one thing my whole life, while my friends were goth or punk or had careers & stability, I always kinda did my own thing, never attaching myself to a single ideology or label. I’m a diaper girl, i’m pansexual, those are the only real identifiers I like to put on myself. I’m not making a charachter sheet, i’m living an actual life & try to keep things as fluid as possible. I try not to close any doors, even in my own head, and I think labels force that.
“Girl/Woman” is a label I fought against for a long time, never felt like i’d fit in under it. Then I realized that I was the one who decides what that means, and that it certainly doesn’t mean being sedate and soft spoken. Most of the women in my life have been strong as hell, that’s how I define woman… and Diaper Girl fits me like a glove, so that’s how I think of myself 🙂
Built to Spill taught me to forge my own path, that it’s my Flesh & I get to decide what to do with it. I can listen to the music I want, I can create my own little universe of cuddles and diapers and smiles and safe places for sad girl times. I am not 100% back into diapers yet, but standing in the back of the concert listening to my favorite band play my favorite song while just wetting my diapers fully, feeling how a wet diaper feels on my new body… it’s heaven, and it’s here on earth. I had a dream about this once, and it came true. More on that in an upcoming post, it’s going to be a good one 🙂
Thanks for listening friends, more soon! I also have a Ko-Fi if you want a non-committal way to send some contributions to my site! I’ll end this with some of my favorite BTS songs!!! Big Hugs & Stay Diapered!!!
3 Years Ago Today – Still Flat – Twin Falls Idaho – So & So & So & So From Wherever Whenever & My 2 Favorite Songs – “Car” & “Reasons”