Sad Girl Update: 60 Days Post-Op

Just an emotional little update about being 60 Days Post Op & nowhere near healed yet. This is a sad, raw one, so watch only if you wanna empathize hard.

I have a smiley video coming soon about Armpits but am going to take some serious time to rest. After filming this I spent the night in the ER with my friend who has kidney stones, came home and finished editing this. I’m doing OK, I have an indomitable spirit, I had a great time in Chicago and seeing my friends, just very tired and need to rest emotionally and physically.

More soon friends, just another hurdle, a last insult. I wrote this on Facebook to my closest friends, so I should share it hear as well, as the folks reading this are the people that matter most to me ❤

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Coming back from Chicago/Milwaukee, feeling good but very tired.

As some of you know I had a orchiectomy 60 days ago. Generally it’s healed up in a couple weeks but due to a complication during surgery that caused a hematoma situation, I am still healing and fairly weak.

I should be 100% healed up in about a month and start to be able to enjoy my new body, but I will emphatically say the last 60 days have been very difficult on me. No regrets and the issues are temporary, but I never had an easy transition and this feels like the final suckerpunch of the whole thing.

I look incredible and i’m mostly feeling great. I was always waiting for a happy ending to write the Story of My Life, and now that I’m much clearer and healthier and finally basically finished with my transition, I’m finally at the place I want to be & can start telling my story. I’ve been working on a Sedaris/Shepherd Style Memoir & I’ve got over 1200 blog posts over the last 16 years, there’s probably a book in there somewhere.

Thanks for the support friends for the last like 18 years of me being Riley, and to those who knew I was Riley before I even did. I’ve spent more of my life authentically than I have not and I couldn’t have done it without such supportive, kind friends.

Be well, life is full of challenges and I’ve overcome them all, thanks for cheering me on and for all the love & support.

And I see Built to Spill in a couple weeks!!!! Life really is a Joyride

Diaper Lifestyle #5 – Diaper Euphoria Part 1

Hi there friends! I’m here to change diapers and share pictures and i’m all out of wet girls, so here’s some adorable pictures!

This is titled Diaper Euphoria 1 because I know I’m going to make dozens and dozens of posts with this title. This little girl is so happy to be back into her diapers and while she’s not wearing all the time yet she’s still filling them up as good as she ever did 🙂 Still changing diapers as good as ever too!!!

I am comfortable and sedate and surrounded by good people and friendly pets, with one girl in particular filling both roles, person and squishy cute pet. Did I ever tell you that I really like squishing diapers? That few things bring me more joy then a good hearty squish?

It feels good to be squishing again but instead of spending all this time talking about how much I love squishing I’m just going to go do some squishing and catch you up when I’m back home 🙂 these are just the beginning of what is going to be a incredible week of pictures!

Feeling really competent and confident about my picture taking skills too. I have a passion for people and for documentation, I forget how much photography can document emotion, instead of just being a means to express it like the self photography I do. It’s a lot harder to get candid shots of yourself 🙂 I love capturing a shy little smile, or the glimmer from a littles eyes while you change her desperately full diaper.

If my goal was to bring more Beauty into my experience of ABDL, this has been a successful trip. I’ve been blessed with some lovely subjects and some lovely scenarios, I hope they brighten your life as much as they have brightened mine ❤

More pics soon and not just of me!!! Thanks for following friends and for all the support this is going to be one heck of a year and starting out with an incredible spring!!! Hugs!!!

And a little video too!!!

Diaper Lifestyle #4 – Back in Diapers

Hiiiiiiiiiii friends!!!

I have big news 🙂 I wore some diapers!!!

I started my big adventure and went on a couple big plane trips & got to see some cool lights and sounds in Detroit!!

And then I made my way to my destination, a sweet snuggly friend in a very cold and cheesy place! I’ll be around here a while and then head to Chicago for more Adventure and Fun!

But most importantly I am finally starting to feel good enough that I can wear my diapers again, I wore one to bed last night and had a few accidents this morning and it was really full and felt really squishy and nice 🙂 I really forget how much I love a squishy diaper, I guess I didn’t forget but I just really really wanted to remember 🙂

This has been a nice chill trip so far and I really look forward to see what kind of Adventures we’re going to have but I also think there’s going to be just lots of chilling and cuddling and video games and good stuff like that! My friend wears diapers too so I don’t feel so shy about mine, friends are good when they make you feel comfortable by peeing their pants also :p

Lots of adventure coming soon hope you enjoy the little video and there’s lots of smiles coming ahead for this happy little diaper girl!!!

Capcon Carne Consent Conversation Carnival

This is the worst titled post i’ve ever made by some degree. It gets better from there!

This video is 4 different stories from my past about Consent. Small Content Warning about drinking & creeps.

I am going on a big adventure today! I am also taking the big step of wearing a diaper for the first time! Will be posting a big travelogue and all that! It’s bee 51 Days since my Orchi and i’m still not 100% but ready to go and feeling good!

I won’t be at Capcon but will be in the city during that time, expect lots of adorable pics and more!!! Thanks friends, hugs and hugs!

Diaper Lifestyle #3 – The Before Times

Remember those days in the Old Country, the Before Times?

When we would run free through the barley in just our diapers, painted in the orange of the setting sun, we would spend all days exploring the countryside & eating fresh berries & charcuterie while nesting in the embrace of a Grey Poplar as I read you the ABDL fiction of our ancestors.

As the stars came out and the night faded we would waddle home to our centuries old door, we’d change each other by candle light and drift off soundly in our thick nightime diapers, with only the sound of rustling sheep, crackling flame, & bedwetting hypnosis ASMR coming from a tiny wooden phonograph.

When we moved to the cities life became more complicated, we had no space to dance, to snoof. We could no longer see the stars and no longer feel our connections to them. When we squish and crinkle we see noses wrinkle and glares avert, it’s no longer just each others smiles we look into, we see faces of judgment, and I hear you those nights, cooing the sheep in your dreams, or your open hand trailing beside you, as if it still feels the tall grass brushing against it… though there is nothing green here.

I remember when we used to dance.

Oh i’m just being maudlin, we will dance again soon, I filmed this just a few months ago 😛

It’s been nearly 50 Days since I’ve worn diapers and i’m getting really poetic about it 😛 I have always been a city girl, I did WWOOF for a little while & love the idea of more holistic, organic living, she says in a room that looks like the room from Lain.

I have always been a bit of a nerd with a luddite streak, I am awful at messaging and still prefer phone calls, I used to be really into IT but now have to google everything 😛 But we’re getting off the point, though I do I worry sometimes that diapers won’t be plastic anymore, but I’m just going to keep riding the waves and stop worrying or if you prefer… DONT PANIC.

(CW: Medical Talk:) I’m going to be on a plane soon and I think i’ll be diapered for it, I haven’t flown without a diaper in a Decade+ and I think that will be the perfect time for my triumphant return to thick diapers. My hematoma is almost gone (probably a few weeks before it’s gone 100% but it’s small enough to not be bothered by diapers anymore) and the incision wound is healed, starting to feel ok 🙂

Thanks for reading! Going to film a little thing about Capcon & Consent & I really hope you like my new video, and thanks for letting me wax poetic a little bit, like I grew up in the old country not in a Suburban Day-Glo Concrete Dystopia. I wanna goto Ireland someday, do I know any Irish ABDLs?

More soon friends, Stay Diapered!

Diaper Lifestyle #2 – Keep Your Rileys Diapered!

Hi friends!!! I have 2 New Videos!

First up is a little clip while I was experimenting with livestream stuff, I will be doing a commentary on these “How It’s Made” diaper videos. I want to learn how diapers are made from the ground up!

And here’s a little update on what I’m doing and where this blog is going! Still not back in diapers just yet!

I will be out of town this next week & will be getting on planes & trains and will make sure to bring along some of this new special underwear I bought, it’s crinkly and has lots of padding so if I have an accident I won’t get the hotel beds or plane seats all soggy :0

I also have a video about my 44 Day Orchiectomy ~ still healing and feeling better 🙂

I also will be Re-Uploading my “You Can’t Hurry Love” video! Youtube was not happy with that one so I’m going to edit it down a bit, I felt lots of smiles from that one!

More soon! Hugs Friends!!!

Back Home Again Again

My diaper lifestyle series continues soon~ little personal Content Warning filled post for tonight.

Hey friends, was a really rough night and day in the ER with/for my friend, but i’m back, feeling relatively healthy ( I have what they have but not nearly as bad ) and I am glad that I didn’t catch CV yet.

Sorry to bother you with all this new Smiley stuff coming soon. I was planning on posting my recent video, the “Just Dance in Diapers” video but I need to re-edit it and re-upload it. I got picked up by one of those LibsofTiktok again, need to catch up on some sleep, I feel like I have this compulsive horrible relationship with Twitter where I keep going back and keep getting upset etc… I feel it’s just another self-destructive addiction cycle. I really need to get out of town for a little while and out of this negative hematoma-fueled funk.

I was planning on posting this later but I tried on the new Minnie Pull-Ups & will be doing a video of them shortly, sending hugs ❤

Diaper Lifestyle #1 – Panties At My Ankles

It’s happened again. It’s been over a month since I last had an accident, I thought I was going to be ok, but I still keep waking up wet.

“I am going to be OK” I say to myself, my voice cracking in the freezing morning air. I move my tiny body a little and can feel the cold damp around my waist, i’ve been sleeping in it for a while & have a long morning or laundry ahead. There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just a bedwetter, my body just thinks it’s safe to pee sometimes when it’s not… but I also seem to forget that i’m not wearing diapers sometimes.

I know that sounds funny, why would this grown-up girl feel like she’s still wearing diapers… but the truth is, I just really like diapers. I have always been fascinated by them, back to my earliest memories. I’ve always loved the plasticy feeling, the colorful packages, the idea of being all snuggly & careless, it’s always made me feel warm and fuzzy but also a little sad, like Christmas. I often dream of diapers, I sometimes feel naked without one. I have tried to be a big girl and just wear panties, but I keep finding myself back in diapers, be it due to accidents or just wanting the warm, comforting hug that taping on a diaper gives, they call them “Huggies” for a reason.

A Diapered Lifestyle was always a little scary as a concept. I’ve always been really social and the idea of certain people finding out about my diapers is a big worry. I’ve never felt like I “Fit In” and diapers make me feel like more of an outsider, made me afraid of hugs and always felt like I had a “dirty little secret”. But I don’t think it has to be that way and my journey is really about accepting that I can live a full, joyful life while Staying Diapered. And if I keep having accidents, Diapers are going to be a less embarrassing alternative…

So i’m going to start thinking about diapers again. I’m going to pick up some new ones and begin my journey to be comfy and happy in my diapers, for life! I’ll be talking all about my diapered journey in these following “Diaper Lifestyle” posts & videos, as well as real-life tests and reviews of diapers & diaper accessories, I’m going to find out what works best for this girl and hopefully help new & old friends find what’s best for them!

In these pics you can see i’m still experiencing significant bruising Post-Op, don’t worry about it 🙂 I’m also working on being more hydrated, I usually drink a ton of water but have been lax on that… diapers should allow me to drink all the water I want, no accidents or worries, just crinkles and smiles!

More soooon, we’re going to be starting at the very basics with a breakdown of how diapers are made! Thanks friends and here’s to a wonderful diapered life!

Diapered Lifestyle #0 – The Reset Button

Today i’m hitting the Reset Button and starting a big diapered adventure, my biggest yet!

It’s been 5,983 days since I started writing this blog, just over 16 Years, and it’s time for a fresh look at things. I just had an Orchiectomy (Gender Affirming Testicle Removal) in January and have been out of diapers for over 40 Days now. For a girl who wore diapers every night to bed, going 40 days has been a trial, I miss my diapers so much… but this also leads me to a unique opportunity to start fresh with diapers, I have a new body & lots of new feelings, I have a blank canvas and plan to make tons of video this year, so “Diaper Lifestyle” begins today.

Diaper Lifestyle is the inclusion of Diapers in your life, for any reason.

This bright-eyed little girl is going to be exploring the world of diapers from the ground up & telling her story of going from cute panties to even cuter diapers. The crinkly joy, the awkward moments, the wet beds & leaks, every aspect of being a diapered girl. I’m going to put my preferences in the bin and explore EVERY kind of diaper and finds out what works for me, things are going to fit and work differently now that i’m post-op. I’m so excited to be back into diapers, and I’m finally healed enough to wear them again.
And while I will be exploring this authentically, there will be a role-playing element to these stories, especially around the start. I really like the idea of going back into diapers at night because i’ve been wetting my bed too often, followed by daytime accidents & daytime diapering etc, so I’m going to play around with that theme. You may think I sound a little Naive in the following posts, i’m allowing myself to see diapers with fresh eyes through this narrative & want to have some fun with my journey, de-potty training 🙂

And being “little” is a big part of who I am & will be naturally integrated into my story, but it’s not a big focus and wearing diapers isn’t always associated with regression with me, it’s often a very adult need that has very adult issues around it as I wear diapers in my professional life… basically i’m saying that I’ll be talking about wearing diapers to the DMV as much as i’ll be talking about cribs & bottles. I will talk about the stuffies alot tho, the bears are a big part of my life too, they are good bears 🙂

This will also provide a structure for my reviews & informative content, which I will be starting again, I want to get another look at some of my favorite brands & go over some standards, “how to put on a diaper”, “top 10 diaper tips” etc, simple fun topics i’ve covered in the first pass of this blog. See my original first post here.

So let’s push the button!

I’ve been a little bogged down in reality lately and these posts will be entirely focused on my Diapered journey, alongside my usual StayDiapered/StayKinky/Blog Content. Over the last year I tried to expose the seedy underbelly of the ABDL community and while I raised awareness, I feel like it’s a bit of a lost cause in such an apathetic space. So it’s time to move on and focus on the joy of this *whole thing* and practice my “Best way to change the world is to be a positive & kind example for others” ideology. I love diapers, I love my art and my diapered friends and no amount of bad news will take that away from me, we’re safe here.

If you see “Diapered Lifestyle” on a post, know that it will be free of social drama, politics & any such icky stuff. I’ll still cover accountability topics, but i’ll keep that seperate & am taking a long, long break from it all. This is going to be a really fun adventure and I’m really excited to share it with all of you!

Part 1 Starts Tomorrow!

More Tomorrow! Picture Fresh Out Of My Camera & Unedited 🙂

500 Days of Well Being

Hi friends! I have 4 Pictures to show you from yesterday!

I watched Tenet last night so let’s do this backwards.

Picture 1: Bed time with the special bear. I usually have Cincy at my headboard but last night I grabbed the little bear and gave them lots of snuggles. Sometimes a little girl needs to give her favorite bear lots of hugs especially after a long day of adventure 🙂

Picture 2: It was snowing and freezing rain yesterday leaving my doctors appointment, I was visiting some thrift stores & stuff around Philly & saw this nonsense. It’s what looks like a Cement Saw just sitting precariously in a tiny bin, bouncing and threatening anyone behind them. I didn’t have to change lanes, but I changed lanes… A friend called it a “Final Destination” moment, but even those movies are more creative than this. I also love that there’s no license plate or anything, I think someone stole this truck mid-job, i’m going to post this on Reddit r/Osha.

Picture 3: 500 Days Nicotine Free!!! I showed my doctor this, he was so proud. Feeling awesome about it 🙂 Today it has been 1,433 days since I quit drinking, in April 1st it will be 4 Years since i’ve touched alcohol, which is incredible to me, I can hardly believe it.

My doctor is a stoic man but he gives this very warm “that’s great” everytime I update him on my smoking or drinking. Very few people saw me during the worst times of it, and he was one person who saw just how literally close to death I was with it all. I no longer have issues with my liver/kidneys or anemia, i’m doing well and the stability of PA & things like having the same doctor for 6 years straight has been great. Up until moving here, I had never lived in the same house for more than 4 years, even as a child. I went to 7 different elementary schools, have never had any constant stability, mentally or geographically. And the latter leads to the former, has allowed me to be the person i’ve always had the potential to be.

Being older is awesome, I’m 37 & happier than i’ve ever been. Younger folks need to learn that you never grow up, there’s no switch that turns you into an adult. You just take more responsibility and care more about certain things and less about other things. And while your body may not reach the heights it once did, your spirit soars. I’m gonna cry.

Picture 4: Me looking adorable at my Doctors appointment. It was 30 Degrees and snowing when I left the appointment, still dressed for spring. Little girls like me do “Spring Dances” to try to get the bunnies and flowers come out, this is our uniform, pink and pastels and floral prints 🙂

Ok! I have a big baby thing to goto today, will fill you in tomorrow, but I have to run! Talk soon, hope you have a wonderful Saturday friends 🙂