Some thoughts on skincare in relation to diapers and a discussion on healthy body image and the trans community… a supporting post to tomorrows “Diapers are Like Onions”.
First, let’s get some Skincare basics out of the way…
Skin/Hair problems come from an excess of 1 of 2 qualities, Oily vs Dry ~ You probably know which one you are, but breaking it down to those issues alone makes skin care a snap.
Cracking/Chafing? That’s dry skin, use lotion, less hot showers, less powder.
Breaking out? Use powder, air out more, use more astringent soaps.
You’re balancing your personal hygiene, the chemical composition of your pee, the environment (ambient/room temperature) and genetics.
I’m dry, so I use moisturizers and take cold showers (can’t recommend this enough, especially if you’re covered in come all the time like me, hot water makes come hard to clean off). If you have oily skin and you’re using something like a Dove Moisturizer bar, you’re soaking your skin, should be using something more towards the Salicylic angle. I stopped using heavy barrier creams every time I’m diapered and found my skin was happier for it, J&J Baby Lotion is just as good unless you can’t change all day. Find what works for you!
I often have a 30 second shower before bed so I can go into my diapers so fresh and so clean. I like to take a quick clothes-off hose-off when I change out of a soaked diaper, but that can dry me out so I balance using wipes v. showering. I LOOOVE hot showers but mostly avoid them outside of shaving, you have to be mindful of the skin drying/oil removing effect of water. If you can’t handle cold/lukewarm showers, you can still end your shower with some cold water to close them pores up. I also suffer from some minor Eczema issues on my face, upper body and on occasion downstairs and Eczema loves dry skin. Fortunately since quitting alcohol and nicotine my skin has really improved, your diet can have an effect as well. A habit of lotions and overnight cremes (good idea for anyone skincare conscious) helps prevention, though I’ve never been a fan of the experience of rubbing cremes on I’ve gotten used to it. Good skin and achieving your goals in general takes time and effort and sacrifice. “Everyone chooses between two Pains, the Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Regret”.
Keep in Mind: Lotions, Barrier Creams, Diaper Rash Ointment, Baby Oil, No-Rinse Body Wash, Powder and/or Gold Bond, these are all distinct things. Using the wrong product or substituting say, Baby Oil for Baby Lotion can lead to a break-out, but they also fill the same purpose on occasion. Some Gold Bond is just baby powder, and some of it can be anti-fungal and super helpful! Look up yeast infections, if you’ve got a vagina learn about UTI’s. Know yourself and read labels! And avoid Detergents, lots of Mens Body Wash is dry skin city and way too aggressively cleansing. Use Baby (not Kids, but Baby) or Girly products if you wanna be a big ol’ softy.
As with anything, the best thing to do is just Google “Best soap for ______ type skin” and go from there. Again, genetics/ethnicity are part of it too, some people just have challenging skin and we do our best to mitigate it, medications and stress are huge parts of it to. And then there’s shaving, which is a whole nother’ truck full of chimps. There is no lack of skincare content online and dermatologists or places like Sephora can do skin care analysis and lead you in the right direction. It takes time, and not until recently, my mid-30’s, did I get it all figured out.
And remember, if you’re interested in anti-aging, avoid the sun. It loves us but it hurts us with its love, I cover up when I go out, hats/long sleeves etc. Take Vitamin D supplements and enjoy natural ambient light but avoid direct sunlight, especially on your face. I’m out in the sun all the time, I just wear floppy hats, use sunscreen and cover up. Think Caliban from “Logan”. It works for me and I kinda love being able to wear a mask to keep the sun off. I think i’m going to live to 100 and don’t want to get any work done so I take precautions.
Realistic Body Standards For Transpeople Leads to Healthy Body Image!
Cosmetic surgery or photoshop filters may be fine for others but personally I try to keep it as real as possible. I don’t photoshop out blemishes or smear (much) Vaseline on my pics, I sometimes wonder how instagram people will react when they see what a real person looks like without all the heavy filters. I do a touch of smoothing but so many are as smooth/cgi as Pixar characthers. I hope there’s a cultural push back on that and AI generated images, I understand it for fun or dysphoria stuff and never call people out but personally, I think we need to be as connected to reality as possible these days. And all this obsession with image, I think not photoshopping my pics have always kept me humble. I’m sharing my life to show other transpeople that you can be your best visible self and live your life, sacrificing my anonymity to encourage others and I want to be as authentic as possible. It’s also a reason I didn’t like Mainstream Adult work, they really airbrush the hell out of their content.
I love the praise for how I look but what really matters is jus being a visible transperson. I know how alone I felt as a transwoman with noone to look up to, especially one who wears diapers, and it’s super important to me to encourage positive self image among folks who are going through the same stuff. I think that social media can make that all confusing, within the community you see all these perfect people and “if you do this you’re trans” posts and heavy makeup and you get the idea that being trans has to do with being pretty or your outward expression, when for me it’s always been about how I felt inside and then making my outside correlate with that. And not to criticize, really, I understand the importance of outward expression, cosmetics and even drag (which I don’t like really but will 100% defend) but my fear is the whole self-actualization part is forgotten and it becomes all about clothes and makeup and flags, marketable things.
Also, the solution to my personal gender issues aren’t solved (but i’d say they could be mitigated) by a tracheal shave or makeup or changing my pronouns, but rather something that requires medical intervention/hormones. The social aspects of my trans issues are a symptom of the larger issue for me, the fact that my body doesn’t want male hormones and I have a long medical history about that. I would take hormones on a desert island and deep down I consider myself more non-binary or a genderless “Riley”, when you’ve seen both sides the sides matter less. When it comes down to what really matters, connecting between people, genitals and blemishes and makeup don’t matter.
Being trans has never been about looking good, in some ways its a bonus and other way it’s made me more vulnerable to predators. I can assure you, attractive people are just as miserable and empty inside as everyone else, and relationships can be hard when you’re hot because people like you just for that, it’s hard to find authentic people who like you for who you are. The goal is to be comfortable with yourself in the mirror and that starts with realizing that Looks Don’t Matter. Once you stop judging others by their looks yourself, you stop feeling that effect from others as much.
With all that said, I applaud anyone exploring their gender and I hope the trans community can lower the temperature a little bit, I see a lot of infighting and anger and accusations. I’ve been called a transphobe more than once by actual transpeople, which is hilarious. I wish some “advocates” would stop holding others to their own angelically standards. I like having this space where I can share my thoughts in a long form instead of flinging poo like most of twitter seems to do. I think it also keeps me out of trouble, I can be clumsy in limited or impromptu formats. I think there’s plenty of room for all kinds of transpeople and I support everyone on the rainbow and would encourage more folks to take time to write their thoughts instead of engaging, I have lots of unsent tweets that served their purpose of catharsis but probably would have just stressed me out to post.
This went off the rails again… i’ll wrap it up from here, just remember Hanlon’s Razor when dealing with people online, “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.“, meaning its better to assume someone’s ignorant first and cruel second, most people are confused or distracted or high, i’m usually at least 2 of those. If it took me my entire adult life how to properly bathe myself, don’t expect random cis people to immediately understand gender theory or remember literally anything. Anyway, feels good to defend cisgender folks now and then, they’ve had it rough lately. And I 100% support non-binary and trans people who don’t have dysphoria, and all the other/new expressions of sexualities and all the colors of the rainbow ❤
I’m out of here before I post something I regret 😛 Hugs post coming tomorrow, no audio version of this one because i’m hoarse from all the recording yesterday. Megabig post coming tomorrow, just wanted to get out these two supplemental posts first!