3PM: Tired Soggy Girl Needs A Change and A Hug!!! (Last 3 Pics)
Oh My Gosh! What a busy bear day! I had dentistry early in the morning then immediately went to my Laser Appointment, I was very unhappy and laser hurts like heck, but it’s going great, I hardly ever have to shave and don’t get the perpetual 5 o’clock shadow. It’s a total game changer for me, I was always so self-conscious about that, so nice to just *exist* without those worries.
Orchi is still healing, it’s been 4 months. Again, this is a rare complication, but I can’t believe how long the healing is taking, how much pain i’m still in (occasionally), how non-functional I still am sexually… I can have sex still, get erections and i’ve had some really A+ orgasms but also some really nothing ones too. Getting erections is painful still and I want to be 100% healed before bottoming… I wanna ride my bike, I wanna ride my futa sex doll, I wanna ride my stuffies in a big thick wet diaper! It’s be over soon, peeing is way easier though and I can pee in all sorts of positions I never could, so i’ve got that going for me. I’ll be 100% soon, just might be another month or so. I’m doing ok, strong girl 🙂
I am back in diapers though, still can’t wear them too often because i’m healing, but I can have diaper days! Two Duckies showed up to make sure things were ok with me, Duckies are good friends, they like diaper girls 🙂
Speaking of furrrr and stuffies, I brought little Trubble along with me to all my appointments, Trubble is a good little Raccoon and compared to the silly monkey or the incorrigible little panda, they are always a straight shooter and always watch out for their Mommy. Trubble always helps Mommy get in her diapers at night and reminds her to take her pills, they are a very thoughtful little cooners. So I brought them along and everyone was so nice to them, people are very receptive to cute things like that. I get so shy still, I think back to when they were gonna give my Bear a mask and hairnet for my surgery and I shyed away, I’m so confident in some regards but showing that innocent, little side of me is so tough, I’m so afraid of being rejected I guess.
But I wasn’t really shy yesterday, I said Trubble was my little supportive buddy & they were a smile factory, that little concerned look on Trubbs face really melts people. We went out to eat and the server was delighted, he was a Wiz Khalifa type dude and really made me smile, he shook Trubbles paw and everything, it was fun 🙂 Trubble wanted to order some hot dogs but it was a healthy eating place so they just nibbled on my salad and drank blueberry juice. We talked about the politics of the forest and they gave me a little pep talk about how even though I have things in my past, some things I’ve done to myself (bad teeth from lack of care/insurance) and some things I can’t help (being born this way) and the best thing for a little girl to do is persevere and take care of good things in the moment, to move forward and make good decisions from now on (in moderation). Trubble is such a smart little stuffy!
I was driving home and found a iPhone 13 lying in the street, I pulled over and grabbed the phone and used some of my 1337 h4xor skills to find out who it belonged to and returned it, it was good, crazy that it wasn’t damaged in any significant way, if it was there much longer it’d be crushed to bits. Just a weird day all around. I’ve got a super long day today and tomorrow and then more dentistry on Tuesday, today and tomorrow will be fun and lots of cute dress-up and green leaves tomorrow!
Thanks for reading friends, more smiles coming soon! Stay Diapered and having a great long weekend!
I’m waiting out front of my dentist right now they’re not open yet apparently and I’m about to get some really big Dental surgery and spend a bunch of money… but on the bright side I have a sweet little raccoon with me and a nice thick pink Trest diaper 🙂
After this I’m going to go get laser hair removal stuff, it was the only day they could take me… maybe all the numbing they do at the dentist will make the laser less painful? Long story short by the time I get home this afternoon I am going to be a very tired babby, dentists really upset me… it’s funny, the most popular video on my YouTube is me talking about Diapers at the Dentist, funny how long I’ve been telling the same stories, guess I don’t grow out of my diapers, they are a constant, a squishy snuggly constant 🙂
Oh and there were two ducks outside the dentist so it seems like the duckies are looking out for me which is good. Duckies are good friends!
Pardon the random pictures, I can’t really see what they look like on my phone, hope my diapers arent showing :p ~ just wanted to send a good morning smile, have a lovely weekend friends!!!
Hey friends! Just a quick smiley post today, sharing my new review of the Swimmates Diaper!
I like them alot! They have lots of diapery goodness, they are basically just a plain looking adult pull up but I love the way they add little ruffles to my swimsuit! I didnt’ get into the water with them but I assume they will just feel like a wet pullup 😛 Maybe I will give them another try at the water park this summer 🙂
Thanks for watching friends! Victorias Secret show coming soon, feeling good about life, just needed to get off that big vent post yesterday. Also, watch “For All Mankind” on AppleTV+, it’s a damn good show if you like space stuff. Thanks, be well & Stay Diapered! I’m about to run around all day in a nice thick diaper, like a diaper girl should 🙂
Big Content Warnings for a long venty post. Takes a turn about halfway through, watchout ~ ~
Hey friends! New little video from the beach! And i’m filming a new Victoria’s Secret Panty Try-On Today 🙂
I know, Diaper Girl at Victorias Secret is a silly sight, but I have been loving the smooth lines and cuteness of my post-op body. I still have more of a bulge than I will after all the healing is done. I’m still healing, still in pain on occasion… I can’t believe what i’ve been through in the last 100 days. I’m going through lots of changes. I’ve been googling “Ego Death”. I feel like if a cult approached me with some cool robes and mantras and meet-ups i’d probably join. I feel like the dad at the beginning of The Witch. I have other esoteric observations, but I am trying to keep this light and fluffy.
I bet there was a first draft of Pulp Fiction where instead of the whole “Let’s be Cool Like Fonzi” dialogue, they tried a “Let’s keep things Light and Fluffy like Pancakes”
I’m pouring my heart and soul into StayKinky, committing myself to daily content, focusing, staying away from the social medias. When I was a kid, I spent time on Something Awful, then 4chan, then Tumblr & Twitter & Reddit, it’s all been this lust for novelty, I need a break from the internet. I convinced myself that time spent there had value, but it’s so shallow and faceless… I need to just advertise there and focus on my art here.
I need to read more books, I have been loving going back to Bradbury and I just started this Phillip Pullman book on writing, I haven’t turned on my Playstation in a month. I’m getting back into VR. I’m making hearty salads instead of *nothing*. I’m putting weight back on, I was down to 112, that’s too low for me. This video is day 100, today is day 116.
I can’t emphasize how much stress, especially social stress, effects me. I ask myself, why do I cause all this stress for myself, why don’t I just shut up? Why do I have to engage? Outside of my own trauma and angst around anyone who endangers kids, I think there’s more to it, more than i’m realizing, some deep pain that stretches my heart thin. I don’t remember my dreams, but I feel like I dream about the pain. I think alot of the pain is guilt & survivors guilt. I have such a fear of being abusive myself, or letting abuse happen and not doing anything about it. A fear can be healthy, like of venomous snakes, but paranoia is a irrational fear, and it feels more like that. Like a psychosis.
I just found out that one of the guys who ran Teddycon got busted by one of those “To Catch A Predator” type people. One of the roughest things i’ve seen, holy hell, the biggest content warning. This broke my heart. I guess i’m less likely to give people the benefit of the doubt after seeing the 100th person get outed for horrible stuff. People say i’ve been around too long, maybe that’s true. Something about “You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become a Batman Villain“.
Here’s some blame I put on myself, a time when I failed, when I could have done something, but I didn’t.
I have a Confession.
Content Warning: Real Life CSA Images – Trauma – Alcoholism
I told this experience on Reddit recently so I might as well put it on public record here. This is all blurry memories, but it’s a very sad story, so maybe just skip this one and read tomorrows post about swim diapers & cuteness ~ I just need to get this off my back.
It’s sometime between 2007-2009 & i was at NELIcon, (North Eastern Littles Invasion), one of the early & possibly first proper ABDL conventions. I was a serious drunk amongst other bad habits, I was around unfamiliar people and didn’t have any money or stability. I was living in Boston working at a hotel for a few months, it was a long time ago and during a gap in my blog, these were pitch black times and most folks I knew from that period are either dead or in jail, that’s how it goes in the life. I went where the wind took me, where there was a perception of safety.
The last night of the convention I had no place to go due to some travel snafu, I don’t recall any details. So I stayed at the convention in the room of one of the guests, a round faced, short man, someone I didn’t know until the day of the convention and haven’t seen since.
That night they showed me some pictures in a photo album of what looked like a trailer trash-esq family and they seemed to have a very young girl in diapers with them, maybe ten years old? There was nothing explicitly sexual going on and I can’t describe the pictures because talking about this upsets me severely, but they were plentiful and inappropriate and they were very ABDL related. Basically just pictures of a kid in diapers, but not in an innocent way.
The person seemed to know the people in the photos and there were lots of them, this was an ongoing situation. I don’t recall *why* they showed me these pictures, but probably some sick need for validation. I hated it, I have seen photos like this in other places online and it angers me so much, and how common it is… I don’t know what the situation was, but it was not a good environment for this kid and I knew it, it could have been anything from weird incst stuff to kidnapping, who knows? All I know is this guy was into it for horrifying reasons.
This kid is an adult know, if they are still alive, it was so long ago. There was no black & white there, I should have trusted my instincts. And my instincts would be to destroy this guys life, but I was weak.
Here’s what I should have done: I should have slapped that binder out of his hands and alerted the other people at the hotel, or at the very least got enough information to report him to CPS/the cops.
Here’s what I did: I fell asleep. I didn’t even really remember the incident until the night after, hangovers were like that. I don’t recall anything else that happened that night either but when I did remember, I became very angry. I didn’t know who to talk to, I didn’t have a clear recollection, I didn’t even know if it was illegal but it felt really bad to me. I had faced issues with harassment and stalkers and was afraid to make enemies, I was vulnerable, had no resources, I still had a Nokia. I was SWing & messed up on drugs, I didn’t have a firm grasp on anything & wasn’t exactly going to run to the cops. I don’t even really remember what the person looked like, I wish I could do more, it still bothers me,
I hope that girl is ok, the mind reels, the guilt multiplies. Again, I think she shows up in my dreams, and that’s why my waking mind won’t let me remember them, it hurts too much to face. But that’s maybe me just being a writer, creating monsters in every shadow.
When this happened, I had just come out of a decade of grooming and abuse myself. I moved across the country to get away from it and would take any substance to not have to confront it. And here, in this new place, where I thought it was adults doing adult stuff with adults, I see the same abuse cycle happen again. I realized it’s everywhere, it could be in anyone. I have spent so much time in the shadows of society, seen so many horrible things that I couldn’t repeat hear out of respect for your soul as the reader… It wears on you, the shadows start peering back.
I had my opportunity to save this kid, maybe from not ending up to be a complete disaster like I was. Adults made me grow up too fast, I was never innocent, I never got that chance. I wanted to save someone else the pain. And I couldn’t. And that’s my confession.
I’m 37 and it still hurts everyday, that missing piece. I try the therapy thing but it’s a hurt that’s never going away, all I can do is find the brightness in the world and in myself, break free from the chains other people put on me. And to try and stop further hurt internally and externally.
But sometimes it really feels like i’m just lost, like I’m damned, but I can spend my life saving others. I feel this passion to help others, that empathy to not stay silent, but that can be just a way to reenact the same abuse over & over again, it’s trauma seeking behaviour. I see these “Predator Catcher” people on Youtube and it seems like it comes from such a place of deep hurt and anger, I see myself in them. I hate vigilante justice and these aggro youtube people, but wow, I
I pick my battles, I think a lot of boycotts and online advocacy is disconnected from reality & performative…. but I also truly think we need more voices for consent, anti-racism, inclusion etc. I have always acted on certain principles and often kept them personal, the stock i’m from is about *real* advocacy, real work and real results. I do have angst from times when I could have helped and I didn’t, or times when I was hurt and my friends or family or community stood silent, I have some anger towards them too. But I don’t want to be angry, that’s not me. I’m not some aggro person, I just think certain things are hitting a breaking point for me.
I needed to get all this off my shoulders, I’m figuring myself at. I get so angry at this stuff, and I know people are tired & nothing changes so I just need to move on. So thanks for letting me vent, I have some crinkle content coming up, will put my future vents into a book or something, I have some smiles coming up. Sorry for all the heavy talk, I need to go spend a day at a waterpark and stop peering in to the void.
Speaking of voids, I am going to do a breakdown of the trauma regression bit from the “Alone” episode of Moral Oral on my other blog, an episode which makes me so ridiculously sad. And not just the storytelling, but the way I see myself in it. An extreme content warning on this for everything under the sun, like, seriously, don’t watch unless you want to panic cry.
Thanks for listening friends. I am logged off and just focusing on my paysites, stuff coming to Patreon asap too. All is well here, I went to the Zoo, lots of emotions and sads right now, but I am doing ok, surviving as always. I am going to spend the day relaxing and eating donuts, I feel lighter after writing this. Instead of constantly speaking my mind in the public square, i’m going to give my opinions here and in my media and not to the social media dross.
Be well, so much beauty out there, need to focus on that. But all this trauma, it weighs heavy. I’m glad my body will be better soon but my soul needs some more time. Hugs, no sads in the next post, I promise! I didn’t post for a long time on here because I only had sad things to say, so I’m going to follow that principle. Next post will be all smiles ❤
Fight for what’s right. And when you no longer can, heal up and live your life ❤
Hey friends! First, I’m writing this in a very soggy trest, feels good to be able to sit around in a diaper again 🙂 I still feel a little uncomfortable pressure where my testicles used to be, but that will go away eventually. I’m on day 115 of post-op and i’m still hurting a bit, but am so close to being fully recovered, maybe a month or so left. I still get pain when getting erections and stuff, but nothing too significant. This whole experience has been so surreal…
So I’m working on a whole Cape Cod video, lots of cute moments and crinkly smiles, but I wanted to share this video first. I visited the Massachusetts Air & Space Museum and they had a great docent, we had the whole place to ourselves and I learned a ton about the first rocket and saw some cool space labs and early simulators. I had the opportunity to try this really neat simulator set-up, they had a scale replica of the plane in the video at the museum as well, it was a really neat experience.
One of the things I like so much about being little is getting some of the satisfaction and attention that I never got as a kid. I am very much a kindergarten teacher in my personality, I like to praise and thank people for things, being polite and friendly is a way to bring sunshine into the world. But as an adult most people are too shy to praise someone else or if they do, it’s in a very fakey, cordial way. I want to be patted on the head for being a good girl, be it a good mini-golf shot or making a delicious dinner or for landing a plane. Kids are desperate for approval and an authentic “good girl” keeps me on a cloud for days. As adults we seek other kinds of approval, usually money, but it’s much colder than a warm hand on your shoulder going “you’ve done a good job”.
So consider that a social “hack” to get lots of warm kisses from a diaper girl… If you wanna make a little girl feel good, pat her on the bottom and compliment something she did, be it a smart little comment or for cleaning their room or working hard on something. It makes me smile everytime!
I’m going to post a really sad story tomorrow, and then a smiley happy post right after. I have a bunch of dentistry this week then a gig at a wine thing, going to be a rough one but I’m going to survive. I’m going to wear lots of diapers in the process, feels so good to be back in them again, even though i’m about 12/3 not 24/7 😛
Sending the biggest hugs friends! Lots of exciting travel coming up, tons of posts on my StayKinky sites :):) Have a wonderfully soggy Sunday friends!!! I’m peeing literally as I write this, gosh I missed my diapers :):)
Hey freinds, I wrote a really big post this morning but it kinda got tangential so I want to share this smiley stuff first 😛 Look at my adorable Leotards! This is just a random video, nothing crinkly or too exciting, just cute leotards 😛
Just relaxing today and working on StayKinky content, had a big adventure yesterday so all i’m going to do is snuggle bears and edit video 🙂
I love these leotard pics ~ full posts on StayKinky, feeling absolutely gorgeous. This is going to auto-post on Social Medias but I am staying away from all that noise, focusing on my own space 🙂 I went to the Zoo, did a lot of editing, going to go eat a big ol’ scone, life is good.
Most ABDLs wear Diapers without bothering anyone, but there’s a small contingent of people who don’t respect consent & choose to exhibit their diapers, lie about disabilities or do regression role-playing with non-consenting people. We should not tolerate those who force kinky interactions on non-consenting folks, doubly so if done for profit or around children.
The purpose of this post is to clarify conduct lines that have been widely accepted in this community, so when people cross these lines we have a clear path to accountability.
First, I want to emphasize that certain kinds of public behaviour and dishonesty have real world consequences. Here’s just a few examples of people who have been arrested for Diaper Related Misconduct.
These are all stories of unhinged fetishism, faking disabilities and forcing diaper related interactions on their victims. Consent is the thing missing in all of these situations, without Consent it’s not Kink, it’s Abuse.
Con·sent : “To Give Permission for Something to Happen”
As a counterpoint to all that Diaper Crime… millions of people and thousands of ABDLs wear diapers daily with no issues. You shouldn’t live your life out of some abstract fear of “offending” others, They Don’t Throw Innocent People in Jail for Wearing Diapers. There’s a specific set of people who cause all this trouble and take fantasy into reality. Many ABDLs have public exposure fantasies and there’s nothing wrong about indulging them in writing & art & in safe scenarios, but we all know ACTUALLY going out and doing public diaper exhibition is wrong.
I wear diapers to my doctor, to my physical therapist, onto planes etc, but I make i’m 100% hygienic and to always have dry diapers in those situations. I tell them it’s a personal underwear choice and that’s all that needs to be said. It would be inappropriate (& in some cases illegal) to lie/roleplay to healthcare workers to get free diapers or worse, “changies”. If you want to get your diapers squished or changed by someone else, sign up for Fetlife or pay a SW’r like the rest of us.
And as for “Littles Clothing” like onesies and shortalls, as long as it covers your diapers and is setting appropriate, I think anything goes pretty much. Size, age and gender should be no restriction, people wear offensive shirts and provocative clothing all the time, don’t be afraid to express yourself. I see footy sleepers in the wild all the time, if you mind your own business and be considerate of your environment you’ll be fine.
“Little Gear” is a different story, and there’s lines. Having a pacifier as an accessory is one thing, but sucking on a pacifier at the mall is another. I think it’s a matter of intention at that point, but basically, if it feels like a “scene” or roleplay, don’t do it. I always have a paci handy on planes, helps calm me down during turbulence. Live your life honestly and without shame, find your peace and leave others to theirs.
I’m making this post as a way to discuss what I have found to be the basics standards using my 16+ years of experience of seeing people push these boundaries and face the consequences. Some may disagree, but I think these are common sense, universal guidelines that should be adopted as the standard boundaries in the ABDL scene. Live your life and wear you diapers, but always put consent first.
Part 1: KEEP YOUR DIAPERS TO YOURSELF
If your diaper wearing actions are intended to seek or risk a reaction from non-consenting people, simply don’t do it.
I had a long, detailed list of rules but I think that sums it up. Squish, crinkle, bulge, peek, just keep all of that to you own space.
Let’s talk about some examples of appropriate behavior using our two friends, Squishy & Slimey. Squishy is a good diaper friend who care about boundaries. Slimey is a bad news person who doesn’t respect other people consent and loves getting a reaction outta folks. Lets see how Squishy & Slimey deal with different situations and you determine which one is appropriate.
Squishy wears thick diapers everyday but covers them with appropriate clothing. Slimey wears outfits where they know their diapers will stick out of their clothes
Squishy sometimes has diaper peeks, visible bulge or skirt blow show their diapers, just a basic part of life. Slimey creates scenarios where their diapers are shown to to others because strangers reactions to their diapers excite them.
Squishy makes extra sure that when in Children’s spaces like Theme Parks & Build A Bear that she does not expose her diapers or act inappropriate. Squishy acts very fun and little but she doesn’t expect to be treated like a baby. She respects boundaries and the basic social contract.
Slimey is currently incarcerated for making adult content in a toy store, a parent complained about unhygienic smells in the toy aisle and the store had footage of them filming themselves, so they were arrested for lewd public behavior. TMZ picked up the story and Slimey is going on the Sex Offenders list for life.
Squishy follows 18+ guidelines in real life and online, never involving minors in their kinks. Slimey pretends to be “age dysphoric”, they co-opt the struggles of marginalized people to talk to minors about kink or publicly roleplay. Slimey uses mental health & social justice language to create tolerance for their child bothering and all of Slimey’s followers applaud them.
Squishy is kind and empathetic towards incontinent people, she knows that some people can’t help it and never is rude about other people’s unpleasant smells.
Slimey takes no smell precautions and likes seeing Squishies face revolt at their smells, it makes Slimey feel like a baby or a real incontinent person, and that’s their favorite fantasy.
When Squishy and everyone else in Diaper Town tells Slimey to stop doing these harmful things, Slimey uses their fans or others to speak for them and can’t confront the situation honestly, like the grown adult they are.
Squishy likes to wear diapers and be little, but knows that they are an actual grown-up and has to take responsibility for their actions. Slimey wants to be a babby forever but someday reality is going to catch up with them, maybe in the back of a cop car.
So which one would you rather be, Squishy or Slimey? Who do you think is a better representative of who we YOU are as a Diaper Fan? The answer is obvious, but I still see people defend Slimey everyday.
We all know these basic consent and behavior guidelines, but people keep pushing them and others defend the boundary pushers. I focus on children in this argument because so much of public ABDL content centers around children’s spaces and it’s common for children to be victims of these creeps. I try to avoid labels, but I think we need a new name for the folks who fake illnesses or need to convince others that they are medically incon to gain access or manipulate others… I propose “uncontinent“, like “the uncontinent person got banned from the Goodnites Forum for clearly fetishistic comments”
In Part 4 I’ll be debunking every argument brought up when the public exposure issue comes up, but to really understand how bad this has become in the ABDL scene, let me present an example of a recent incident from a very well liked creator.
Part 2: THIS IS WHERE IT GETS MESSY
This next part will discuss intentional public messing, adult industry standards and social media nonsense. I recommend skipping to Part 3if that’s not of interest to you. Additional ContentWarning for Self-Harm& CSA
So the following situation happened recently and I got cancelled pretty hard for calling it out. I was appalled by this action & the support it got on Twitter. I was meaning to update my original Diapers in Public post anyway but this only escalated the need to address this issue and the culture surrounding it. And I am not trying to harass or ruin anyone, we all make bad judgment calls. Address them honestly and go back to being well loved, ignoring this just continues to normalize non-consensual behavior. People want to forgive, but we have to talk about it first. I don’t think everyone is evil or have cruel intentions, just that they just don’t think about the risk involved. I’m trying to help. Let’s get to it.
A popular ABDL made a paid custom video where they mess their diaper in the toy aisle of a store. They posted a picture flashing a diaper with a heading like “teehee i pooped in the toy aisle” and it got over a thousand likes on Twitter. They responded to all the praise with comments similar to “Was it Stinky?? Yes!!!” and “I don’t know how bad I smelled, I was wearing a mask!” which is so selfish and offensive it makes me never want to wear diapers again if it means I have to deal with these people.
Any model with integrity would see “I will pay you to visit the childrens toy aisle of a public store and mess yourself on film” and immediately block this creep for wanting messy content in children’s spaces, but this model agreed and served them. They arranged payment, drove to the store, made the video (with no plastic pants so anyone could easily smell them), posted the pics and likely got some new followers from such a popular post.
I will say this with 100% Confidence, Public Messing Content is Wrong. To start, it’s certainly illegal to go film yourself messing in grocery stores. Second, adult sites are being shut down left and right now that the credit cards are so touchy, so maybe don’t make Public CSA content. And yes, intentionally flashing your messy diaper at a child is sexual abuse, just like flashing your breasts at them would be. That NCOSE anti-p*rn campaign is on going and illegal content like this is why ABDL content is so commonly banned. Again, many Models get requests for these Public Diaper gigs but we don’t serve p*dophiles and neither should anyone else.
I say the P word with 100% clarity, i’ll explain but I will tell you I hate talking about this and hate how normalized it is on ABDL sites.
The implication of messing yourself in a public children’s place comes with the fact that a child might have to smell it. Why would you go to a children’s place otherwise, why not at a bar or a forest or just greenscreen a toy aisle in? This exhibitionist fantasy is centered around other people, children specifically, having to smell, hear or possibly catch you messing. I don’t conjure up that assumption, it’s clear the commenters were enjoying the fantasy of other people having to smell this “messy baby”. Lines like “Babies just go whenever they need to! They don’t worry about other people, they just go!”, are a sick reminder of how disconnected from reality some people are in this scene.
And to go off on a tangent, we know we are all adults, right? My Mom worked in the prison system and only the most sadistic inmates would force their waste on other people. It’s the most anti-social behavior possible. I don’t care what some Tumblr says, you are not really a baby and you don’t involuntarily regress. I have seen involuntary regression/retrogenesis in dementia stricken people, it’s incredibly sad and a serious mental issue. It’s really unfair to apply that serious label to yourself and if you are under 70 and “involuntarily regressing” or literally can’t control your bowels, you need to be at a doctor, not on TikTok. People have IBS but they manage to keep good ambient hygiene and rarely film their accidents.
All my neurodivergent/incontinent/IBS friends live their lives just fine without stinking up the place. I don’t like to play “No True Scotsman”, but as you can see in the Jail section, this community has a problem with people faking mental health problems as a way to abuse strangers and health care professionals. So no, I don’t implicitly trust someone when they say they have to stink in public or be treated like a baby because of [Insert Mental Health Problem].
Leave the Kids Alone! When I worked at Target kids would hide behind toys in the toy aisle all the time. Kids run to these spots expecting to see Playskool and Lego, not a grown adult, diaper exposed, messing themselves for money. Even if nobody is around, the fantasy is about stinking up that very specific space with a very specific connotation, then presumably walking out of the store wafting all the way. Otherwise they would do it literally anywhere else, but it had to be there.
One more time for those who don’t get it: When you are in children’s spaces you are more likely to be caught and/or smelt by a child, so when people are specifically being paid to film lewd content where children could easily be, they are specifically trying to get that exhibitionist thrill from children, and that’s why it’s wrong. I shouldn’t have to explain why pooping in the toy aisle for cash is wrong, but here we are. I think this is something that many people don’t think about and what it enables. I am not accusing anyone of being a p*do, but any fantasy around exposing yourself to *actual children* is super wrong.
And i’ll expand on this later, but folks extrapolate a wider judgment from criticizing a single specific incident. I have plenty of semi-public diaper pics, you can be sneaky and have fun now and then but we have to maintain these common sense boundaries, which I feel this model and many others have crossed. It’s not a all-or-nothing situation, we just have to call out really bad behaviour when we see it and set basic standards for ourselves.
“YOU’VE BEEN AROUND TOO LONG, STANDARDS HAVE CHANGED”
The above is a response to my statement that “I’ve been around a long time and the standards haven’t changed, breaking consent has never been tolerated”. I’m writing these 5000 6000 words because I don’t believe that’s true, I still maintain consent & no minors in kink has meaning, not just something people wear as a pin.
I was upset when I saw that so I made a post to my private Twitter circle of 145 people calling out this person’s behavior. I later shared the scenario on Reddit, where most people agreed that you should keep your smellz to yourself and the person should be rightly called out.
But on Twitter people had a literal and figurative shit fit and had a big ol’ cancel around me. I see people talk so much about consent but I realize they only care about their consent & not anybody else’s. Because if you cared about consent, you in no way could condone this. I see people get so mad when someone roleplays in their comments but then they sleep when people are roleplaying in a public store around kids. It’s not about intellectual consistency, it’s about making excuses so you can do whatever you want.
And to the people that are upset that I called this person out specifically, it’s 2023, this person definitely knows this is wrong. We are past the point of endless discussion and need to openly not tolerate these actions. Especially when this is part of the adult industry, it’s our job as creators to defend our medium. I rarely see people calling out bad behaviour unless it’s an attempt to excuse their own. And this person has called out other people on twitter before, calling them the C-word etc, so it’s not like this person is some innocent angel, if she can bash transwomen in this scene with no care for their mental health, I can call her out too.
I’m tired of having to dance around the feelings of people who should know better. I’m allowed to speak for myself. This person was of sound body and mind when they negotiated payment & decided to go to the store and film this content, but when somebody calls them out, this person suddenly can’t communicate like an adult. They have their boyfriend private message and harass anyone who would speak up, which to me is just a way to intimidate and silence other women, it’s unhealthy infantilization. Girl, you’re a grown ass woman, speak for yourself.
I’m allowed to speak my mind.
They can’t defend their actions and won’t admit wrongdoing so they play victim & emotionally manipulate as a way to distance themselves from responsibility, I’ve seen time & time again, it’s the same song, different singers. It’s a game and I’m tired of seeing people play it. Her boyfriend started blaming me for a breakdown, which is a scenario familiar to people with abusive partners. It’s a means of control and it’s offensive as hell to see somebody use it as a way to excuse away their capitalistic child bothering actions. And mind you, I don’t know any of these people whatsoever outside of a few shared tweets.
I had issues with self-harm & I think it’s really insensitive to use that as a shield, and I’m not going to question anyones mental health validity, but if you are so fragile that criticism of your extremely controversial content will physically hurt you, then you need to log off or tone down the content. If you saw the kind of comments I get, you’d melt. It’s not like anyone was knocking down this persons door, I posted to my circle, not to my 16k followers specifically to avoid conflict and just get peoples thoughts. Simply, If they made it, they should be able to defend it themselves. If they can’t defend it, they shouldn’t have made it.
And frankly, what about my mental health? I was triggeredas hell when I saw that picture and the praise it got, sometimes I can get a little manicwhen things really bother me. I became super anxiouswhen this grown man yelled at me, I spiraledwhen I saw dozens of people liking posts calling me a bitch.
Am I not responsible for my actions then? Yes, because I take responsibilities for my actions, you can’t masturbate in the library just because you’re depressed.
That’s the last I’ll say on that. Tired of models who can do no wrong and be held to no standard. If you see bunch of people calling me a bunch of nasty things, it’s usually because I took away their CSA Content away from them. I’m so tired of being the villian, but i’ll save that for the epilogue.
And before we move onto the next part, let’s get public messing covered. If you absolutely must go number 2 in public, take some kind of smell precautions like plastic pants. Incontinent people take serious precautions so people who are doing it for fun should make doubly sure, triply sure around kids. Unfortunately, for the video in mention, the smell was the point so no precautions were taken, which is just… ugh.
Let’s climb out of the sewers and move on.
Part 3: “Your Liberty To Swing Your Fist Ends Where My Nose Begin“
Think about Public Play like this… I smoked cigarettes for years, that was a personal choice I made that had the potential to effect the people around me. So to be respectful of other people I wouldn’t smoke in crowded places. I would practice basic mindfulness and respect, especially around kids. I grew up around smoke and I hated it, if you’re a victim of something you’re likely to be mindful and not victimize others, but it’s also just basic courtesy.
Kids are marginalized folks, most spaces are adult spaces and kids get very little autonomy. I think forcing things like smoke or sexual fetishism into their public spaces is messed up and their parents probably aren’t keen on it either. Kids don’t understand these things and talk to any CSA victim about this and they’ll tell you how confusing adult sexuality can be when forced on a child. Typing this makes me want to cry, but I am not in the business of emotional manipulation so i’ll leave my history & rage out of this. Simply, there are appropriate times to teach minors about biology, gender and sexuality, but it shouldn’t be strangers at Wal-Mart doing it & certainly not adults online.
Another example, think about passing gas in an elevator. If you do it once it’s an unfortunate accident, but if you do it 10 times and are smiling about it, you’re a massive creep. It may not be necessarily illegal and could be explained away (maybe), but its a massively anti-social thing to do and people will call/throw you out. It’s like the people who vandalize restrooms, some very pathetic people like to take control whenever they can.
And this is the crux of this argument, there are plenty of neurodivergent & otherwise vulnerable people in this community and promoting harmful or risky behavior can put those folks at risk by making it seem like this public play is acceptable. You have to be responsible as a creator, I saw a gay guy do public diaper stuff at a bar and just posted “everyone here knew and was OK with this”, just clearly emphasizing consent, it’s so easy to do.
Framing ABDL kink as some sort of civil rights movement for “ABDL Acceptance” is just not cool. If you’re talking about inclusivity in the BDSM scene or just a general pro-kink vibe, i’m 100% on board, but miss me with the “ABDL rights” movement. We are people who wear diapers for fun, we are not a protected class. If someone fires you for posting messy diaper pics on the internet you can’t fight it in court like if they fired you for being Christian or Gay. If someone gets caught by the cops doing lewd public exposure things they aren’t going to care about self diagnosed #autism or #IBS, they are going to treat you like an adult and throw you in jail just the same as all the folks above. And I’m not saying cops are always right, just what they can & will do.
So don’t go out and do lewd public play or go walking around in just your diapers. Even if you don’t get caught, you’re normalizing really dangerous behaviour. Most of the people I’ve known over the years who have been busted for public exhibition have always done it in a manic or drug-addled state, it’s not a mentally well thing to do. As content creators and ABDLs, we should be more mindful of the things we encourage for the well-being of all.
Part 4: HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING
So let’s finish this out with debunking all the ridiculous arguments people make to defend blatant public exposure.
“But there was nobody around!” & The 100 Foot Rule
Most of the time this is a valid statement, lots of people take ethical “public” pics.
Your girlfriends diaper is peeking out of her jeans at a Starbucks so you snap a pic
You’re out hiking and pull you dress up
You’re on a beach with a diaper under you swimsuit
You’re at a gay bar on piss night in a diaper and harness
You’re in dark alley and you flash a titty
You’re taking a cute upskirt in your car
… people do wild stuff and its mostly harmless fun. You’re not going to traumatize anyone by living your life but if you’re out doing fetish roleplaying scenes in a Toys R’ Us you are going to get corrected & fast.
First, I never do overtly lewd/sexual things in public because that’s gross, I first-hand saw a methhead couple fucking in a Dollar General at like 8am the other day, it’s about the trashiest thing you can do and I had to go somewhere else to get my Mothers Day card. But I digress.
Second, I think there’s different standards of conduct for your day to day vs photography, if the above scenario would have just snapped a quick pic it would have been better, or just had an accident without filming it would be another, but when you are filming anything lewd it creates a much more devious connentation than just *existing* in diapers.
I have a 100 ft rule, I never pull-up my dress unless I’m certain no-nonconsenting person is within 100 ft. Because if they are 100 ft away, I am in no way a danger to them or forcing them to interact with me, and I have plenty of time to adjust myself in the time it takes to get near me. Somebody in a forest or on a beach has a reasonable expectation of privacy because you can see 100 feet around. Somebody exposing themselves in a grocery store is different, you can never be sure someone isn’t 20 ft away, let alone 100 ft, and there’s a much higher likelihood of kids etc. You have to take this sort of thing case-by-case, but there’s some pretty basic rules here.
DONT DO THINGS LOOKING FOR A REACTION. I’m sure little bits of my diapers get exposed all the time reaching up for something or getting out of the car. But when you’re wearing a 5-in skirt with half your diaper hanging out and filming yourself walking around Walmart, you’re looking for a reaction to the public exposure, which is super trashy at best and illegal at worst.
I’ve taken a lot of public pictures, lots of little flashes and kinky sneaks, but I explain my methodology and constantly emphasize consent. I’m not running around in just a diaper and if I am, its in an appropriate place like Folsom St Faire or a Fire Island Beach.
I talk alot about Incognitism versus Exhibitionism, Incognitism is the thrill of a hiding something kinky from the public without the risk of being caught, like seeing a movie while wearing a buttplug, being a burly construction worker who wears panties or a CEO who wears diapers instead of lingerie, the thrill of a kept secret. I love looking like a business woman but wearing a diaper under my Express Editor Slacks. But that’s talk for another post ❤
“You’re Just Clutching Your Pearls!!!” or “Don’t Yuck My Yum!”
I have been accused of many things in my life, but being a prude is the the one that always gets me. I have lived an incredibly “edgy” life and am as permissive of pretty much anything within the boundaries of consent. I once lead a discussion for the movie “I Stand Alone” (Huge Content Warning) at a film festival and people literally yelled at me for platorming such nihilistic art. Art should disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed, there should be no limits to art except CONTEXT… and with that, we need to be mindful that we keep our fantasies in fantasy land.
I love stories and art about humiliation & diapers, wetting my pants while shopping for diapers or being pushed around Disney in stroller, public humiliation is a common fantasy because ABDL for many is about IDENTITY and “having to use diapers” has a strong appeal over “choosing to use them”. Public exposure helps solidify that identity/role. The fantasy becomes more real when strangers engage, so it can be a massive turn on to have random people acknowledge your diaper need. Losing all bathroom control has been a lifelong fantasy for me, as a very young person I wanted the care and empathy that younger kids and my bedwetting peers got, I wanted to sleep in cribs and wear diapers so bad. But despite this overwhelming desire, I didn’t lie about bedwetting and am very glad for it, it would have been selfish & ruined personal relationships.
It’s not wrong to have these fantasies, but it’s wrong to force them on others. We need to encourage a strong grounding in reality and honesty because too much fantasy often comes with a big heavy dose of reality.
“You Were On TV!” or “Someone Else Did Something!”
The “I didn’t consent to seeing you on TV” argument is a joke, people literally think this is some extreme gotcha so let me crush it right here.
First, if you saw something on TV, you (or your parents) turned on the TV and went to that channel. You wanted some trash so you went to TLC and you got it. Don’t blame me.
Second, There’s a difference between something on a screen and something in real life. Seeing two people fighting on “Amish Mob Wives” vs in front of you is different. There is no danger on the screen.
Third, If I was posting Diaper Pics on the Bluey Facebook, inviting kids to watch my videos or DMing crude pictures to people, yeah, then i’d be a consent breaking creep. But following the “minors saw you on TV so you’re a pedo” logic, literally no content could ever be created out of fear kids would see it. Kids see crazy stuff all the time, every kid has seen Rick & Morty, but that doesn’t mean it’s ok for people to show them their diapers… obviously. It’s just ridiculous to think that flashing a kid at a store vs them seeing someone topless in a movie is the same.
Also, this such a Donald Trump thing. The “Ad Hominem” attack of “Riley did X so I’m innocent of Y” line is such specious thinking and only works on idiots. I have made some big mistakes in my life & i’ll be the first to admit them, me or someone else being terrible doesn’t excuse your actions. People with integrity don’t argue like that, but the fans eat it up.
“You Just Want Attention!” or “Let People Have Their Own Opinions!!!”
Criticising something is not an attack. “Consent doesn’t matter” is not an opinion. Read Part 3 Again.
I care about bad actors in this community, not just because they victimize people, but because when they get bad mainstream press it creates really negative feelings around ABDL, internally and externally. I have been contacted by vanilla friends with these articles about abusive ABDLs and it’s humiliating to have to explain it. I think we need to protect our scene and make content like this to “virtue signal” that most of us do have standards and mind our own business. Especially people like me that are constantly sharing our Diaper Lifestyle online, I want to make it clear to outsiders that we aren’t out acting like we do online in real life. That despite our “weird kink”, we are respectful, tax paying citizens who pose no threat.
Over the last year I have taken on a series of big issues after being largely silent about them for years. I’ve always wanted to use my tiny platform for good, so I have highlighted these issues at a huge cost to my time, mental health and income, as I make little to no money off of ABDL, it’s all my adult content and other ventures that keeps my head above water. People want diaper reviews and cuteness, not this stuff. So no, I am not calling people out because it makes me big money, none of my YT makes money and I hemorrhage followers everytime I speak on this stuff, I have had many shaky, manic nights over these topics and the backlash from speaking out. I hate conflict, but I feel I need to to speak out when it matters. I choose very specific topics with clear evidence. I take days of unpaid personal time to write, edit and produce content. Because I care.
So if you think I do this out of some keyboard warrior need to control others, you’re half right. I am a little girl with a big voice and I’m arrogant enough to think that I can wake people up to the harmful behaviour in this community. I am one of the oldest heads in this scene, I have seen certain things get better (more inclusivity & diversity in ABDL) and worse (more kids, creeps and exhibition). over my 16 + years I have been a part of shutting down several bad actors like StarDiapers and have seen many more come and go.
But I really feel like the goodness of ABDL has slipped away from me, and it’s time to move on for now.
Part 5: The End of ABDL
It’s become to big, this whole thing. “ABDL” has become counter productive in it’s ubiquity and wideness of strokes. I think it’s still a handy label for content, but how many of us really feel like that label fits us? I have never liked “Adult Baby” and immediately adopted “Little” when it came about. I think most folks in my sphere are mainly interested in diapers with “Adult Baby” stuff being more of a aesthetic. Diapers are the core of this interest for me, I love being “little” but it’s a personal thing for me now and the online community has really soured it for me.
And that’s a big reason I have been rebranding myself as Diaper Lifestyle vs ABDL. I think people forget that we can call ourselves whatever we want, we can make our own labels and define our own experiences. It seems as this blossoming sexual freedom and gender expression movement happens, instead of embracing our new found fluidity we all immediately bound ourselves in flags and labels.
ABDL is algorithmically suppressed on many sites and will get you banned on others, so maybe it’s time we move on? When I see non-consensual content, underage outreach, tolerance of abusers and money being more important than safety, integrity, than I no longer feel I am ABDL. There’s a bunch of different labels out there, have fun with them, but I think that too many people have come in to profit off of this community and are pushing out the honest people. If pooping in the toy aisle of a public store is where the ABDL community is at, then i’m going to move to greener pastures. I hope to see you there.
I am going to be making an audio version of this and a “Condensed” Video Version, but I encourage you to read this version for the full picture. This is an update to my “Diapers in Public: A Treatise” post I made after coming back from Cape Cod last time. This visit to Cape Cod was nice, but I ended up spending way too much time thinking about people pooping in the store. I’m tired of this community taking too much of my mental space, tired of screaming at the clouds, I’m tired of being the cop. I have a ton of talent and skill and I feel i’m wasting it here. I love the people who support me and while I have had crisis of faith, I know that people are on my side.
But I feel myself becoming an asshole. I’m aggro about this stuff way too often because it bothers me severly to see people liking & profiting off of CSA and non-consensual content. I thought we were all on the same page, but we’re not. The standards of ABDL are so much lower than the rest of the Kink scene, so I no longer feel comfortable here.
So I’m out for a while. I have been wanting to do a leotard fetish thing and will probably focus on that and running StayKinky. Again, ABDL is not a money maker for me, mainstream porn pays my bills, so i’m going to go work on that. I will still be writing some updates here and will be working on my first ABDL book as well… but I need a long break. I am starting to fully heal from my orchiectomy and need to learn about my new self. I need time to fall in love with my body and with diapers again. I need to wash off all these bad vibes and hate.
Then I need to come back better than ever. Or maybe I won’t, and that’ll be ok too. I still have all my friends we all know I love being a diaper girl too much to not share pictures of my crinklebutt again 🙂 But I need to go find what this diaper girl is really made of, and to not let all the cruelty in the world turn her cruel too. AB/DL should improve the quality of your life, but all it does is make me feel bad, and my posts seem to make others feel bad too. I don’t want to make folks feel bad, so it’s time for me to leave.
Thanks for listening friends. Again, sign up for emails and I’ll probably do a weekly update for a while, check out StayKinky & Transcaping.com and look for more Cape Cod content, but coming at my own pace.
Hi friends! I made a little video on the beach in my adorable new Swim Diapers! These are “Swimmates” diapers, they are *not* made for wetting but for other kinds of aquatic accidents!
The video review of the Swim Diapers is coming but first, I want to send some smiles from the beach and do a little introduction to my upcoming post revisiting of “Diapers in Public: A Treatise” which I wrote after my last visit to Cape Cod, I feel its good to revist this occasionally as people are constantly pushing boundaries, often for profit.
This whole exhibitionism thing has been making waves in the ABDL scene *again* and some folks are super salty at me about calling someone out for illegal and non-consensual content. Theres a subset of people who just wanna do whatever they want to whoever they want and will throw a big ol’ fit if confronted with consent and accountability.
I’ve always tried to emphasize these points, but as the community grows more creeps come around looking for non-consensual & child abuse content and we need to set the standard that there are limits to this kind of thing, what some people are doing & condoning is NOT OK.
Thanks friends, lots of exciting crinkly content soon, feels so good to be on the beach again and I’m bringing all that positive energy home with me! Feels so good to be back in diapers again!
Hi friends! Today’s post is going to be a long & intimate one, but before I get to it I want to thank my 2 friends that are featured in this post. When I visited I was made to feel welcome & warm, it had felt like forever since I played diapers with friends and I was shy, nervous & a little scared. I was broken pretty bad and you gave me what you had, you treated my wounded body gently and my sensitive little heart with the same care. So thank you for warming this little girl up my sweet friends ❤ Now on to the post!
I’m going to share with you lots of words today, but first, look at this picture. Aren’t we cute?
Ayla, Lily & Riley
“Nice! The scanner didn’t ID my crotch this time!” I thought as I waltzed through security at Newark International. It had been 50 days since my Orchiectomy surgery and I was happy to finally not have my parts show up on the little TSA display. Feeling good about my journey, I grabbed my bags & headed to the nearest restroom to put on a nice comfy diaper for my flight Via Chicago.
I really wanted to show up in my friends city and give them a big hug in a full diaper. It’s something I have thought of many times, showing up tired and soggy from a long trip, having my hand held to the nursery, to be laid back all sleepy and subby and having my diapers changed by someone I trust and care about.
It’s a fantasy we told each other after long days of work and when we felt far away from everything. We knew this moment would come, when 2 far away girls would melt together in a crib.
Lily and I have known each other longer than we’ve known ourselves, we’ve seen each other butterfly in various ways and even when I was disconnected from everything I knew she was out there rooting for me. And the same goes for so many of the folks reading this, thanks for sticking with me ❤
But I digress, she’s cool and we like the same stuff, we’ve seen each others soft bellies and hard shells and can handle both. I like her is what i’m saying, and she’s also cute and pees her pants which is something I find very attractive in a friend. I’ll talk about Ayla in a bit, she’s cool too!
Little Sidenote: I use “Friend” exclusively for all relationships, with the occasional “partner” thrown in. If I got married, they’d say “Bride and Friend”. I just don’t like labels that much, that’s why I call myself queer/pan etc, it’s the closest label to “no label” like how I’ve always considered my gender as “Riley”. Don’t box me in 😛
So back to the fantasy.
I didn’t land in Chicago in a wet diaper unfortunately. I was still healing and ended up taking it off before the flight, a defeatist moment, but sweet Lily gave me the biggest little girl hug and it was good. I like hugs from tall girls at airports, pressing my sleepy head against her pillowy chest, smelling that unique smell every girl has, feeling the ridges of a plastic waistband beneath her black t-shirt, glad that at least one of us is protected, though I felt protected being around her. She took me to her lair, introduced me to her stuffies & chilled for a bit then off to bed… though I wasn’t the one who needed a change like we always imagined.
But soon enough, the next morning it was my turn to lay back and get properly diapered, though it was a bit different than normal because I was so sensitive down there. As many of you know, I had an orchiectomy and there were complications but it’s much better now and I will be 100% healed and happy soon. But then and even know, 98 Days post-op, sex and diapers can be painful. See my Transcaping channel for my diary of the experience, basically i’m a defective Riley at the moment but my friends never made me feel that way.
I could write a thousand paragraphs on the next sentence but i’ll keep in to one. It was really nice to be treated like a human being and not a sex toy. Often when you meet with kinky folks there’s this obligation to do sexy stuff all the time, even with good friends, and it can be exhausting. [Ever since I quit drinking] I don’t have much sex that isn’t sex work sex, I broke my love & intimacy bone a long time ago and never thought it’d heal, so I tend to keep my heart in a lockbox. I was wondering if I’m just non-sexual or just severely traumatized, and spending [relatively] platonic time with friends like this helps me heal.
But with that said, I really wanted to do naughty things… and a good way to get around one’s fear of intimacy is to have an attractive girl in front of you.
It Felt Good To Touch And Be Touched
I never talk about it, but I’m in a relationship at home. Like all my relationships, it’s open and fluid and features various openings and fluids. I miss touching girls though [million better ways to write that Riley] and it felt so good to trace little lines up and down Lily’s soft skin and feel her react, to see her shy face while I changed her diapers, to place a silent hand on her thighs as we drive. It feels good, girls are good.
We went to the mall, I put her in a bouncer, we peed our pants, watched silly sword shows, just cute girl stuff! I even wore diapers for a bit! These are the Tykables Camelots and they squish really good!
Lily was gentle and thoughtful with my sensitivity, though her adorable little pug jumped on my crotch more than once. Pugs love crotches just as much as I do, solidarity. Lily straightened the little pugger out tho & they were a sweet little well behaved pup.
Speaking of well behaved Pups, we had a visiy from a friend of Lily’s and someone I’ve admired online for a long time, Ayla, who is also a very cute diaper friend. I enjoyed the time with just Lily and I, though the more diapered girls the better! (which I believe is the Colorado state motto)
Gosh do I miss cuddle piles!
Since 2020 the cuddle pile population has diminished significantly, and I want to do whatever I can to keep them from extinction! Squishing together is what good girls do and while I was still in my shareware/unlicensed version with most of the best features missing, it was still lovely and squishy fun.
Ayla, as you can see, is adorable as well, we bonded over prog rock as cute girls do. It’s always nice to meet somebody in real life and find out they are just as sweet as they are online!
We had snuggly fun, I played Tetris on her cool light-up TV and Ayla played Castlevania in mysterious ways and Lily played with both of us. Lots of games and some delicious Middle America hamburgers and met some other cool friends too, it was really nice. I used to be such a social beast and i’m starting to come out of my shell again, this was a great start. I had some further adventures in Second City after Lily & Alya headed to the convention and I headed downtown to do some of the lords work.
Wish I would have tagged along and seen all you lovely diaper people at Capcon but I have my reasons, and this little bite-size three-person diaper convention was enough joy for me.
It’s been over a month since this all went down, and while the trip wore me out it gave me a much-needed reminder that I am good enough, smart enough and doggone it people like me.
And life carries on, I had a really rough airport experience home & within 48 hours of getting back I was in the Emergency Room with my Friend at 4:00 a.m. But the joy and love I’ve felt has helped me stay positive, and now a month later me my Friend is ship-shape and we’re sitting on the beach watching the sunset & holding hands.
A good friend will take you to places you’ve never been before, show you new things about the world and yourself or just be there to hold your hand in theirs when you need it. I’m tempted to talk about all the friends I’ve lost but I think today is about the friends I’ve gained and the friends who remain. I look forward to seeing how our little Friendship Garden grows, to our next encounter when I will be able to do all the fun and kinky things to their fullest :):)
When this little girl came off the plane, cane in hand and luggage in tow, she knew she was going to be smiling about it 40 days later, and she is. So thank you Lily, Ayla, and more smiles soon!
Thanks for reading and I hope you find some snuggles in your life when you’re ready for them!