Hi Friends! This is my newest video discussing Ageplay, Diapers & AgeRe, an offshoot of the “Age Regression” interest.
I have lots and lots to talk about since I last posted but instead of taking my morning telling you what i’m going to make, i’m just going to make it and we’ll me up when i’m done 🙂
Healing is going great, still black & blue but no pain, no restrictions really, been getting out in the sun and feeling good!
Next Videos:
~ 4 Weeks Post-Op Update (will likely film today)
~ “Riley Without Her Diapers Is Like An Angel Without Her Wings” – A discussion on the “Why are there so many Transgender Diaper Girls?” topic that pops up on occasion.
~ And Diaper Reviews Again! I still haven’t forgotten about those 😛 I have been in a *place* lately and needed to work out some of this social stuff, but want to move forward with the bread&butter joyful stuff of ABDL :):)
Hugs friends, my birthday is Monday, going to take a breath and start to really embrace this new body and feel good about it. Maybe i’ll run to NYC for a couple days or just eat a really big turkey avocado sandwich and sleep the clock around.
More soon friends. Thanks for listening, more soooooon!
Hey friends!!! Wanted to send a big big hug for my Valentines Day friends, here’s a lovely new video featuring lots of fun Faire Shenanigan from last Autumn!
I’ve never felt lonely on Valentines Day, it’s just a hallmark card holiday designed to encourage mating in the cold seasons… I have felt left out on Purim before, all those lovely dried fruits and chocolate :):)
I also masturbated for the first time today! It all works down there and felt good and I still came quite a bit 🙂
Happy thoughts friends! This video is unlisted and Rated R so you have to log in to YT/Google to watch it 🙂 Hugs and happy thoughts!!!
Hey there friends, I’m catching up on a ton of editing and I finally finished this project that I started in 2020… that’s how backlogged I am. It’s nice to have this time to edit and I feel really productive, though I am still kinda recovering & exhausted from the surgery. On Valentines Day I get my parts checked out by the doc… It’s still swollen but going down rapidly, incision is healing, hardly any pain, just so glad to be nearly done with all this. The inside of my thighs are still mad discoulred and still getting lots of naps in, moving slow, can’t lift etc. Still being careful about erections and stuff, still lots of bruising around my parts.
A Commenter helped me, someone who’s never had surgery, understand this more. They said that I had essentially survived what would be a life-threatening trauma and my body responds in kind, and that helped me understand my fatigue and malaise and all the various issues I was having with my body. Granted this is in the most controlled & safe situation and hundreds of Orchis happen everyday, so it’s not even remotely a life-threatening situation, but it’s a helpful perspective for healing. I have trouble “taking it easy” and I have been really forcing myself to, I got “Tales of Arise” and will be jamming out to that to keep me anchored.
Speaking of video juegos… but first, juegos is “games” & I would always get that confused with huevos or “eggs” so i’d say “acabo de recibir un nuevo video huevos” meaning “I just got a new video egg”
I made this neat video all about the AB DL scenes in Yakuza Like A Dragon! It’s funny, I recorded the voiceover before the first “Pause” about 2 years ago, funny to hear how my voice has changed, I think it was pretty back then but it’s prettier now 😛
This video has some fighting and guns but is mostly silly video game stuff, minor content warning.
I highly recommend the Yakuza series but it’s for more mature gamers, not emotionally or age-wise, but just there’s lots of dialogue and video game nonsense and long cutscenes etc that would turn off the less tolerant gamer. If you can handle the very JRPG aspects of the series, be sure to check it out 🙂 I will probably revisit the AB DL scene from Kiwami 2 eventually, and there’s new Yakuza games coming out all the time so hopefully we’ll see Susumu-chan again!
Thanks friends, more soooooon! And I chose to pause my Patreon for billing while I recover but lotsa new stuff coming to my paysites, including finally publishing my Red Velvet Autumn Adventure! Hugs friends, stay warm & stay diapered!!!
This is new video all about my last 2 weeks of NO DIAPERS!!! Kinda rough editing but it’s a raw, heartfelt video… with a little story… “I’ll Never Be Embarrassed Again”
No diapers is tough… I knew this was a bad time to visit the museum of expensive rugs.
More Stuff SOOOON. Still Healing, healing well ❤
I still can’t believe I finally did it… such a smiley girl <3<3
You can really tell the difference in my posts between when I use my voice and when I type myself. Going back and re-reading the last post, it’s rough.
Here’s a new video all about my Orchiectomy and my feelings as of this moment (or Sunday Morning rather)
If you like Monkeys and Raccoons and Snuggly Trans Girls then give it a look, it’s a little honest and raw but I am feeling a little raw right now, exposed. I am just going to keep moving forward but first take some time to lick my wounds, cuddle bears, play Civilization.
I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning and write 1000 words about how much I miss my diapers and call the post Diaper girl without diapers makes sad girl.. I honestly want to cry, I miss them so much, i’m sitting here with my eyes welling up, i’m such a mess. I just want my diapers 😦
Hugs friends, more smiles soon, thanks for riding the ups and downs with me.
So first off I want to say that I have some exciting stuff talking about my orchiectomy and everything coming out, everything is going well there and I’ve been sleeping really well and stuff so I’m just so happy about my decision and moving forward ❤
You can find the daily vids on Transcaping.com or my Transcaping YouTube channel.
Second this came up in the meantime so before I get to all that here’s a new video about some large creators that decided to put a big Target on my back for speaking my little mind.
I’m going to take a break and just focus on my pay site stuff while I continue to heal I’ll probably be back to posting consistently on here around Valentine’s Day. I told myself I needed some time to heal so I haven’t been overworking myself to post on this channel, but Smiley fun diaper content coming soon!!!
Thanks friends, i’m going to get snuggle bears, try to get some sun and discovery my new body congruency <3<3 Lots of Love friends, thanks for all the support.
I’m pretty much flat out in bed right now I have a lot to talk about and so much to share but none of it is really well put together right now, I don’t want to give you too much random emotions, because I have lots to spare 🙂
Last night was very difficult because I didn’t have pain medication until this morning and I am a very swollen uncomfortable girl but I am also the happiest little girl in the world <3<3
I feel like it hasn’t really kicked in yet because I’m still really swollen and it kind of feels like I have really big testicles right now, but that’ll be gone soon and I’ll be back to my absolutely gorgeous and perfect little body, finally closer to being the way I feel 🙂
But yeah having to lay on my back like this is not great and I am very sore and just not feeling it so I am going to log off for a little bit and do some serious recovering 🙂
I’ve got a big ice pack on my crotch and I’m about to watch a movie, thanks friends, more hugs and hugs and hugs!!!!!
New Video!!! And Then Another New One Tomorrow & Daily Blog Starts Up Again!!!
Hi there friends!!! I have the biggest news for you, a lifetime pursuit coming to fruition! I’m finally getting an Orchiectomy!
I have so much to say in the coming month, I will be going through some incredible changes and have some big feelings to share, but for now, let’s stick to the facts.
But first, “Cisgender” means “Not Transgender” & is used to distinguish between trans & non-trans folks.
Dysphoria in relation to trans people is the feeling of body incongruency, my brain map doesn’t understand my boy parts because I should have girl parts, so i’m dysphoric.
Gender Affirming Surgery is the new term for “Sex Change”. Sexual Orientation, i.e. gay/straight etc. is a separate conversation from Gender Identity, I’m Pansexual because that’s the closest label to not having a label, I’m sexually agnostic.
Sex & Gender are seperate, Sex is a Personal Clinical Classification, Gender is a Social Expression. Sex is XX/XY, Gender is skirts or slacks. Gender wise, Cisgender Men & Trans Men are the same gender, Men, but don’t have the same Sexual Characteristics. Sexual Characteristics do not inform gender and Sex really only matters when it comes to private medical needs, Ciswomen need cervical cancer screenings, Transwomen need prostate exams.
Ok, we’re all glossaried up? Here we go, The Who What Where How & Why of my Orchi!
Who: I’m Riley Kilo, I was born in 1986 in Northern California, started taking hormones in 2009, you can watch me take my first pill on this channel! , I do video production, I go by She/Her pronouns, and I really like pastels, kink, sad movies and making food for friends.
What: An Orchiectomy is the removal of the testicles, it’s a 30 min Outpatient surgery performed by a Urologist. Nothing changes about my genitals outside of testicle removal, no skin will be removed.
They basically make an incision on the line running up the line of one’s sac and then remove the testicles, they use dissolving stitches and there’s a post-office visit but otherwise it’s a one & done situation. There are possible complications outside of the usual surgery stuff, but many of them can be resolved quickly, I am very healthy and shouldn’t have issues. I’ll go home the night of the surgery, be off my feet for about 48 Hours and limited lifting for about 2-4 weeks after that. Friends say healing is easy biz and it’s not too painful, more uncomfortable. Going to eat some weed gummies and watch a bunch of Baki, i’ll be back and editing in a few days.
Where & How: Outpatient Surgery Center, Doctor came highly recommended. They had an opening so the appointment came up super quick, I thought it was more like 6 weeks or months, not 6 days away. But i’m ready, less anticipation!
I am getting my insurance sorted and hopefully that will cover most of it. I may have to pay out of pocket which I think I can handle, you see I live by the beat, if people don’t buy my content, then I don’t eat, but thankfully people have been really supportive and I should be able to front this one my own. I’ve asked so much over the years so i’m not doing the big GoFundMe campaign thing or anything, I have this covered thanks to viewers like you :):) Orchi’s are more in the 2 Grand & 2 weeks area vs the more 20 grand & 2 months area of a vaginoplasty. Plus, being completely honest here, but vaginas take alotta maintenance and I might just be too irresponsible for that at this moment, same reason why I don’t have a cat.
Here’s the big one:
Why:
While I was growing up, I was small, sensitive and had a very high voice, very few people mistook me for a boy.
I started growing breasts when I was 12 years old, I hit puberty VERY late around 15 and it hit me hard, I grew 6 inches taller and became very sexually engaged, I had a lot of awkward teenage sex. Near-constant Erections, huge hormone swings, so much hair, issues with controlling my emotions & temper, normal teenage stuff for cisgender people, but very confusing for a young girl. While other boys were climbing and running in their bodies, I was scared and confused in mine, I swam with a shirt on, I didn’t like being touched or hugged. I just felt so wrong. I still feel this way, but hormones and gender expression have helped me feel much better.
As a teen I started ID’ing as gay because I didn’t know what trans was. I knew I didn’t want boy parts, I knew I enjoyed them, but they’re just not right, like eating an offbrand oreo.
And that’s because, simply, I’m a trans person with a clinical need for transition as way to manage dysphoria. My mental map does not match my body map, and while I am happy with my female gender expression, my doctors and I agreed on a need hormonal & surgical intervention to fix this incongruency. The testicles produce Testosterone, so instead of continuing to take T inhibiting drugs (raising my risk of blood clot etc) i’m just removing the source of T as well as improving my quality of life by removing parts that I feel and have always felt, do not belong. I also suffer from constant, troublesome erections, and while post-op I’ll be able to still (maybe) get erections and ejaculate, etc, sex without testosterone is much more honest & desirable to me, and I am sure it will be even more so without the balls.
Someday I may get full sexual reassignment surgery but I don’t have the time, money or confidence to do that, I have never had a surgery or been in the hospital so I am very nervous, getting a vaginoplasty would be too much for me. I’m a scared little girl to be honest, but staying very strong for myself and my friends who will be supporting me through recovery.
I wrote about a dozen paragraphs for this part but that’ll be it’s own video on what I think about trans people, sex, gender, non-binary identities etc. Spoiler alert, I love anyone expressing their unique selves and believe there is plenty of room in the trans rainbow.
So final thoughts, and we’re about to get mushy, this means everything to me. This is the most important thing I’ve ever done for myself and every day of my life has been leading up to this. I am not a person who cries, but I have been on the verge of crying since getting the call about this.
Those walls around my heart I talk about, the insecurity, fear of rejection, inability to feel loved etc… those bricks are made from bullying and a rough childhood and sexual abuse, but they’re held together by testosterone. With hormones and self-love, I have been healing more everyday and each single moment I spend as my authentic, congruent, vibrant self, is a step towards peace. I am so happy to finally be here, to finally put myself first, not my Sex Work Clients or my Lovers, or my subscribers or fans, but to do something for me, to stop delaying and take action and continue growing, blossoming and living life deliciously.
Thanks for listening Friends! Daily Blog Starts Tomorrow on Transcaping.com and My Various Social Medias!!! Thanks and happy hugs!!!
First one is about the Trest Diapers and is super cute, the second is about my Orchi Consultation, I filmed it back in November but wanted to get it out before next weekend…
Because just in a couple days I am going to be having my Orchiectomy! I have so much to talk about and have a video and post coming out ASAP, I have been super busy filming and getting ready and all that, they had an opening so it happened somewhat suddenly but I am ready to go!
Thanks friends, post coming tomorrow! Happy thoughts, i am overjoyed <3<3 thanks for all the support!!!
StayDiapered! 